If possible, please comment, on anything

[barn241607306445]

I feel so desperate and pathetic doing this but I honestly have no where else to turn to advice so I figure total strangers can't really hurt me. I'm not even sure where to begin since none of you know anything about me at all. I guess really the bottom line is that I'm so unhappy which I don't know if it's depression but even if it is I'd be too ashamed to admit that I have something wrong with. I'm miserable and I try to act happy and sure once in awhile I have my happy moments but then it just happens and it's all down hill. Recently my best friend got a boyfriend leaving me in the dark but it's completely me ruining my friendship, I feel as though I should just leave (I'm at college) and just abandon everything like that'll solve something. I just need some answers. I never really feel comfortable with anyone except my family, I have no self esteem but that's b/c I feel overweight and not good enough so duh, (trying to make light of the situation, i hide from everything with sarcacism), I feel alone but realistically I have tons of friends with me and my family is great. I've also been always upset about not having a boyfriend but b/c of the best friend I didn't feel I needed one so maybe. I just don't know. I am unsure if it's strictly the best friend problem or if it's been here all along and I try so hard to ignore it. I don't know anymore, if anyone has any information for me please spill, I won't be offended by what anyone says. If you need more information then I'll check up and fill you in more. Thanks for caring!

[-touch-of-heaven-]

barn24,

 

Listen to me honey, I think I know some of what you're going through. Depression can sometimes find a way to take over everything and become simply a way of life. I know all about this, and I'm still struggling with it. As are you. I want you to do something. I want you to find time for yourself, in a place that's all yours, maybe somewhere outdoors. Sit down and think about all the things you'd like to change in your life. The problems bothering you, the things you'd like to see solved in a different way. Make a list. I mean everything from what you said, not having a boyfriend, to little things, such as that the door in your room screeches when you open it. Whatever bothers you. Then choose the smallest things, the easiest to deal with, and one by one start to change them. By yourself or with help. Find someone who you can go through it all with, someone to talk to during the bad times and the good, perhaps your best friend, and try to improve your relationship with her, as you said it was doing poorly lately. Tell her about your plan, that you are not completely satisfied with the way things are and that you want to change it, and you need her support. You'll see things will start to improve. Instantly. The first thing won't be that something on your list is fixed, but that you realized you've got a goal, something to strive to, a mission, and you'll see it brings new meaning, and with it, new hope, into your life. I promise you this, sweetie, because your letter has touched my heart and I want you to be happy. I want to tell you something, I'm a soldier. When I joined the army I found my calling, my mission, and it brought new meaning to -my- life. This mission could be yours.

 

I also wanted to comment on what you said about being overweight. Let me tell you a story. I look okay. In fact some people would use the word 'good' to describe my looks. I've had my share of invitations to a date, and my last girlfriend was overweight. But I want you to know that I love her. And I mean that of all the girls I've been involved with romantically, I love only her. With her I'm like a puppy. I can't do anything right unless I'm with her. She's pure beauty to me, and such a kind soul. So I think you should know that you will find someone, but that you simply haven't found the right person -yet-. He'll come along. You might actually be too engrossed in your quest to righten the wrongs on your list, when suddenly someone will surprise you. Take your mind off things. Make sure to every once in a while go do something for you. Go swimming or drive out to nowhere and back just listening to music, go bowling. Whatever is fun for you. You'll see life will be much better for you. And don't feel pathetic or anything of the sort for coming to us honey, because we all have troubles in our life. All of us here are in need of some help, and we're here for each other. We're here for you too.

 

Write me if you need anything.

 

Good luck!

 

^-touch-of-heaven-^

[missvirginia]

It is hard being a girl. I know. I am one. I was your age once. And yes. When your best friend gets a boyfriend you can feel jealous and abandoned. Let's face it. Us girls have all been there. That is when you realize you don't have a life.....

 

Please don't leave college. You need college. As much as you want to hide, it is the last thing you need to do. You say you hide behind your sarcasm. Well, then I have a question for you. What are you afraid of.? .I have raised two daughters, so I am not talking in a territory where I am unfamiliar. Until you identify what it is that you are scared of - be it intimacy, or letting someone know the REAL you - then maybe you can get past your sarcasm which might get you toward a boyfriend. As far as your weight is concerned, once your attitude towards yourself changes, your weight will come off. I probably didn't tell you what you wanted to hear. You have self-esteem issues that you need to address. I bet you are a very pretty girl who just misses her best bud. So, if that is the case......find other things to do, your best bud is still your best bud, only with a boyfriend.......and if you change your attitude you'll get a boyfriend too!

[CallingAllAngels]

Well, being overweight seems to be the only "discrimination" that is acceptable anymore. I know because many years ago I was overweight, and I know how it feels. I'm sorry, and I know you can't change that over night. But, remind yourself that being overweight does not make you any less of a person.

 

Regarding your depression...have you ever seen a therapist? There is no shame. If you hurt your ankle, you would seek medical help for that, correct? Why is there still such a stigma attached to mental health? It drives me crazy.

 

Since you are at college, certainly there must be councelors and/or psychiatrists available for you to see. There is no need to suffer like this. Absolutely no need.

 

And...you can be surrounded by a thousand people and still feel all alone...even with your whole family...still feel very very lonely. You need to find out why honey.

 

Don't sink any lower. Do something about it. And please do keep us posted.

 

My best...

 

~Allie

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

Well from my own experience, boy or girlfriends solve little. Oh, the potential problems there! Its all about your own perception of, and work on, yourself, unfortunately. If others were the answer life'd be easy.