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Fear of having a baby


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Hi,

I am 34 years old and I have 2 big fears, fear of unknown/change and I have an extreme fear of having a baby. (Fear of the pain of childbirth and being in the hospital and the unknown of pregnancy). I do love kids. My bf of 14 years engaged with me 4 years ago, I have been putting off getting married because of the fear of the change and because I know as soon as were married he wants to try and start a family. (He has said this). He has been very aware of my fears/anxiety from the start. I guess he thought he could change me. I just started seeing a therapist, but he has ran out of patience. He is tired of wondering if I will ever make the jump, and sees me never getting married and we are not getting any younger so he has dumped me. I know he loves me, but I guess my fears are in the way. I am stuck!!! I am so afraid to have a baby I can not get past this. I feel like I lost the best thing in my life. I guess the best thing to do is let him go and get the family he needs, I love him to much to hold him back anylonger.

Has anyone got past the anxiety of having a baby.

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Not that Im any expert but my brother has had two kids with his wife and two of hers are from a previous relationship which majes four LOL and they manage ok plus two dogs and fish and a rabbit. I love my neice and nephew loads I just wondered why you are reserved in having a baby, you dont have to tell me I just wondered. Gaz

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although there are odds of things going wrong with the child the risk really isnt that great that it will happen to you I mean even if something god forbid does go wrong then your odds are even smaller that it will be permanent. As for the pain, not a heck of a lot you can do there. Child birth hurts....period. But you dont have to do natural child birth. you can not let you fears control you like this. You have better odds of wining the lottery than something happening that the doctors couldnt fix. Just find someone you love, marry, and have kids if you both want them. its not terribly hard. Just go for it.

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I guess there is a lot of that going around now and I am sorry that you lost a long term love over it. That is probably the worst thing that I've heard in a while, sorry that it happened!!

 

I hope the therapist helps and the guy realizes he is wrong and comes back to you!

 

Hey Gaz, let me see if I can answer for her. Having a baby and getting married for many people is a big thing. They see the pain and agony and don't want to worry about being alone to care for a child on their own.

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  • 4 years later...

There is a lot of help if you are scared of having a baby. I practice hypnotherapy and have a lot of people like you its called Tokophobic. I don't know where you live, you can always e-mail if you like email removed and I can point you in the right direction.

I have just written a small article on fear of having a baby. If you find a GOOD hypnotherapist near you, who is also interested in natural birth they can work on your phobia, and get rid of it for you, and when you get pregnant there is a course called HypnoBirthing where they will also work on your fear. Don't ruin your life because of this - good luck. lyta humphris.

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  • 2 years later...
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