I'm messing it up....

[Delusional Kisses]

My BFF has been acting differently around me since we had sex. He calls alot more often. He is being sugary sweet and much more flirty. He looks at me differently now too. These are all things that I've wanted for a long time now. I know I messed things up when we first hooked up and drove myself right into the "friend zone". I am deeply in love with him. I know this much is true, but now that I sense he wants more and that he may actually feel the same way about me, I feel myself pulling away, becoming short with him and such. This is what I did to screw it all up to begin with. Why am I doing it now?? And how can I stop it?

[annie24]

hey - this sounds like a really great start. you are friends, you like him, he likes you.... all good and promising. maybe you are scared? and the change of the relationship must be hard for you do get used to. talk to him. and enjoy. this sounds like a really good thing, like there is real potential here. go with it.

[Natty7]

Easy does it girl... nothing but good news here! So just take a deep breath and exhale. I completely agree with the above... just take it slow and the transition from BFF to more will run its course and follow.

 

Congrats!!

[Entropy Smith]

You need to explore the why you feel this way when he's pursuing you like this...

 

...fear of success/expectations?

 

...now that he is pressing a bit is it killing the attraction? Easily obtainable no longer desirable? If he just assumes you are his now (which alot of guys will do after having sex which turns alot fo guys into stalkers, so you have to be careful about that) do you feel he thinks its going to be easy to just take what he wants?

[Delusional Kisses]

I don't think my feelings have anything to do with "him". I really think its just my own insecurites or phobias. I have a history of this sort of behavior, but I really don't want to mess it up this time like I always have in the past. I've always been able to blame relationship failure (as I have never had a relationship at 30 years old now) on other factors...knowing all along that it was things I was doing. With him, I don't want to mess it up and I'm already well on my way to making it a disaster. When we first hooked up back in May, by early July, I had begun an "online affair" with his roommate and best friend. I don't know why I did something so idiotic. Yet, he stayed my friend through that catastrophe (which he brought up the other day for the very first time saying he could look back on it and laugh now). For the longest time now, everyone that sees us together tells me how much he digs me and I tell them they are all crazy, but it is becoming obvious to me that they may be right and now I feel panicky about it. He even asked why I was becoming so short with him. My sister tells me just this morning that if I don't loosen up and let him "in", I'll well on my way to losing him and his friendship forever and that he is "scared to death" of me. I just don't know how to do it.

[ghost69]

this is exactly why i do not hook up with friends anymore. (females only of course)

[Delusional Kisses]

Maybe I was wrong..maybe I wasn't seeing clearly. He came over on Friday night and left yesterday evening. During all of this time together, nothing more than a friendly good-bye hug was exchanged.