Insecure

[hugmeup]

I am preparing a move to another state to be with a man that I love very much.

He has shown me in many ways that he loves me too.

But I am very insecure and when we talked yesterday, I said " I wonder if you want me there as much as I want to be there?"

He became annoyed at my comment.

After thinking about it during the day, I realized that if he had said that to me I would have felt bad because he would have been doubting my sincerity and love for him.

Later that evening I appologized and he said that when I said that, he felt like saying "If you have doubt, just forget it then."

He also said, "What is it that I haven't made clear to you?"

My question is that I wonder how he could say "just forget it" about the move if I had doubts.

Was this within reason

[DN]

My question is that I wonder how he could say "just forget it" about the move if I had doubts.

Depending on the circumstance I might have said the same thing. Don't forget that although it appears you are the one making the big sacrifice by moving to where he is it isn't easy for him either. He is making a big adjustment as well although a different one.

 

So if you have doubts about what you are doing that implies you have doubts about the relationship which implies you have doubts about him. If he isn't sure that you really want to be with him then it puts the whole moving in together idea under strain.

 

So the answer to your question "was this in reason?" is "Yes, it probably was."

[Natty7]

Not knowing all the details...

 

How often have you questioned, doubted aloud to him, sought reassurance from him regarding this move?

[hugmeup]

So the answer to your question "was this in reason?" is "Yes, it probably was."

 

Thank you for your response.

I had a pretty good idea that he responded in such a way because he did not want me to make the move if I was doubtful.

[hugmeup]

Not knowing all the details...

 

How often have you questioned, doubted aloud to him, sought reassurance from him regarding this move?

This is the first time I have voiced doubt, since the decision to move out there was made a week ago.

[hugmeup]

This is the first time I have voiced doubt about the move.

I should tell you that I just met my sweetheart for the first time on December 17th, 2007.

We met online on a dating site and had been talking daily for a year.

The connection is strong and the friendship and love we share was only made stronger with our meeting.

I will be moving almost 2000 miles to be with him.

Here I clear almost $3,000.00 a month.

When I move I will count on $700.00 a month.

He lives in poor country and there is no work to be found in my field (property management).

My man has been nothing but realistic and honest with me during the year we shared before we met.

He never led me on or spoke of "couple type" love until after we met.

He then told me that he grew to love me from the inside out and I feel the same about him.

I do not have friends or family out where he is.

I do believe that it is my own fear that causes my insecurity and not doubt in his love for me.

Fear of the unknown, fear of the life altering change at my age of 58 years.

But I love him dearly and miss him terribly and although I am afraid, I wish I were with him already.

He just called me because he wanted to hear my voice.

He will be calling me again tonight.

Not a day has gone by that he hasn't called me at least once.

The night I was to come home, he held me and kissed me for hours counting the minutes as the time neared.

When we parted, he said "I love you" for the first time.

[Natty7]

Within reason... you guys sound like you did begin to love the inside and fell in love all over again with the outside. I am sorry but an "Awwwww" is really in order.

 

Nothing but the best for you two! I really hope everything goes superb for you both!

 

Where are you movin?