How do I stop loving someone when they don't love me anymore

[shauna]

My 6 year relationship has just ended and I didn't want it to ever end. I have made a lot of mistakes but I never thought we would end up this way. As soon as we broke up she went out with someone the next day and it hurt me and I can't seem to move on from it. I love her very much and still want to be with her but I know I shouln't because she doesn't want me at all. How can I get past this. I want a life, a good one I just can't stop wanting it with her.

[kamurj]

Shauna, your situation sounds ALOT like mine, me and my girl broke up after 6 years. The ting is that I asked her to marry me, she said yes and the next day she slept with her friend. I was heartbroken! (and still am) my only advice is to wait it out, its painful and it really bites but if he/she is not willing to work on things theres really nothing you can do about it... and you never know, he/she might come back to you in time best of luck to ya, and my heart is with you!

Me

[kamurj]

Shauna-

girl I know it's hard. I with you on the pain. You can't sell yourself short. You deserve to be loved and deserve to be in a relationship with someone who loves you. You have got love to give. My partner and I are breaking up, (her suggestion) and even though I know she loves me things seem to boil down to "all about her". You need to take care of yourself adn let your Ex see what they are missing.

[DiBayley]

Here's what I've learned: You don't stop loving someone just because they've "moved on". You carry the love with you until you learn to live with it and it forms a whole new part of a better and braver you. You try not to fall for the old lie, "time heals". Time does only what it is meant to do - it ticks away. Actions heal, though. I'm not talking about being a martyr - just know that once you love, the love doesn't "go anywhere". The pain of the break up is awful, but tell yourself this: You love. That is noble and proper. And even while it's painful, know that you will love again. Differently, someone else, some other time, yourself. THIS love will always form a part of who you are, so live with the pain until a new miracle comes. But don't stop loving. (She said bravely, after a shattering breakup!)

[Makedamnsure]

Excellent advice, DiBayley!

[Ohso]

DiBayley........I couldn't have said it better myself.

 

When my six year relationship with my boyfriend ended I was a wreck, it was made worse by the fact that just two weeks later he'd began a relationship with someone else.

 

It's been over a year now and I've realised that the love I felt for him is just as much a part of me as it ever was. I've just had to learn to live without him loving me back.

 

At the time of course I'd have done almost anything to stop the pain and thought it would never go away. Not one day would go by where I didn't think about him and wish I could go back and do things differently. I'd have done anything to get back what I'd lost, literally anything.

 

Eventually things got better. I can't even remember when exactly things changed, it was so gradual I guess it went un noticed. I just got through it some how and then one day realised I felt ok and "normal" for the first time in months.

 

So here I am just over a year on, I still love my ex but my life has continued without him. There's not much else I can say except take each day as it comes, talk about your feelings and confide in your friends....that's how I got through it.