girl friend Posted February 24, 2008 Author Share Posted February 24, 2008 This is kinda sad though. Is there no way of a chat and sorting things out? I hate to see a family relationship failing like that. But you know best, you're the one living in there, not me. If SI is the only thing you can control though... thats not good for you. Is there no way of getting more control yourself? Being out the house more, a job or something? moving out? Stay strong buddy, girl friend Link to comment
Donovan Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 I would love to, get out more, but now i am expected to study 24/7. I have tried to many times to talk, but now words dont seem to come out anymore. I am in control of my SI, now. and i am more in control of myself, as well as my friend reminds me every day that she will always be here for me. But i cannot go and stay with her, her parents wont allow it. Thankyou for being here for me gilr friend, it means alot to talk to somebody who seems to be very knowledgable about this stuff. Don Link to comment
girl friend Posted February 26, 2008 Author Share Posted February 26, 2008 Ok, well good luck with your studies, they may give you a way out one day. Are you in control of your SI? Are you really though? I understand that SI is about control, but you can quickly lose that control. If you don't want to SI but the urges overwhelm you, will you do it? You've got a great friend! Keep hold of her, a true gem. Thanks buddy, yeah anytime. You are not alone. girl friend Link to comment
Donovan Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 Heya girl friend, Starting with control, yeah i think i am, i have felt the urge every time i have something that i dont like or makes me feel really unhappy or depressed. But i then think of my friend and then i call her and tell her about the situation, she then comforts me and helps me to get over the urge. My dad would also just shout at me again if he saw another SI scar or cut. I have the urges to do it every day, and without going into the details, i get about 12 problems with my online friends as well as my rl friends and the ppl i live with. so i have alot of umm..worries in my mind almost 24/7. I mean i have huge control, but if the urges became too hard to supress i think i would have to find somewhere to SI so that it would not be noticed. Don Link to comment
girl friend Posted February 27, 2008 Author Share Posted February 27, 2008 How about a journal? Writing the urges down. And whats behind them, to let them out. If not, how about punching a pillow? screaming? going for a run? letting it out adaptively! But youre on the right lines as you are. Waiting it out is always hard, but it gets easier. Just keep at it. P Read this - Link to comment
greeneyedfairy Posted March 4, 2008 Share Posted March 4, 2008 Hey, I have unfortunately relapsed into self harm again. I had forgotten how it completely consumed my life before. My, now ex, boyfriend and friends kept taking shots at my wieght and the scars on my body (i have an eating dissorder which i have almost got under control). I hate feeling the way i do.. i wouldn't necessarily say i was depressed, i don't diserve that status. I just can't cope right now that's all. It seems if i stop cutting myself... i relapse into my eating dissorder.... yet if i control my eating dissorder i start cutting myself.. at least cutting won't kill me i geuss. I am now re-covered in cuts and burns, as well as my previous scars. but am a normal weight. sorry quite a long dull explanation of my life there! Anyway all the best to all of you! Love J xx Link to comment
girl friend Posted March 4, 2008 Author Share Posted March 4, 2008 Hey J Do you hate yourself? Well eating disorder and cutting are both maladaptive coping, so either way they temporarily relieve stress but at a bad price! Is there any other ways you can think of to let out this stress and pain? Perhaps by keeping a journal or doing intense exercise when you feel the urge? Is it about control? if so putting yourself into a strict routine on a day-2-day basis can help you to get some control back into your life. girl friend x Link to comment
Donovan Posted March 10, 2008 Share Posted March 10, 2008 Hey girl friend, Well i havent been on in a while i have been having a bit of relationship troubles, but yeah i have not cut in about 1 month now, and i dont feel the urge so bad now. I have been using that ice squeezing when i get any urge, but other than that i am concentrating most attention on my new realtionship with the girl i said who was always there for me, she and i have ended up being otgether, she said that to her she could help me better if she was able to get 'closer' to me, so that she could try to fill my heart with love to make me forget about the SI. So, now i am actually happy for once in my life, well i hate coming home to an abusive family i am enjoying finishing my Deploma and being with my gf, who i plan to actually marry some day..cause we have known each other for more than a year and i am planning to move in with her soon. So i will be with somebody who i deeply care for ^^. anyway that is about all, ~Don Link to comment
girl friend Posted March 10, 2008 Author Share Posted March 10, 2008 Hi! Aw thats great about your girlfriend, i guess all id say would be try not to put too much pressure on her to help you. Its gotta be a two way relationship. And theres no guarantee it will last forever, but that doesn't mean you shouldnt be happy and give it all your all for now. Maybe one day you will want to move on. The point is, its making you happy now. Maybe it would be good for you to get away from your parents. But remember, before anyone else can love you, you have to love yourself. Otherwise its like she's going to be pouring love into a bottomless pit. So you need to be happy in yourself, and see yourself as a strong young man who can get through anything. How is the SI going? girl friend Link to comment
Donovan Posted March 12, 2008 Share Posted March 12, 2008 heya ^^ Thankyou for the advice, the Si is going well..nothing yet, but i have had a few panic attacks and breakdowns yesterday. But yeah i understand what you mean about my gf, I am getting to the point of loving who i am. It has been hard, but i am almost there. as for moving out, yeah i want to...But i need to finish my education first. Anyway that is all i have right now, Love ~Don Link to comment
girl friend Posted March 25, 2008 Author Share Posted March 25, 2008 Thats great, good lad. Love yourself yeh, your a great guy. You want to tell me about the breakdowns? Love girl friend Link to comment
Donovan Posted March 26, 2008 Share Posted March 26, 2008 Hey girl friend, well the breakdowns are mainly caused by some of my memories returning to me and some things that have happened to me in the past replaying in my mind, i kinda just have had alot of what some might call traumatic experiences with certian things and as such even when i try to forget them there is still some times where i will be reminded of them and i will end up having a break down. Panic attacks for me are a regular occurrence i panic very quickly about many things as well as, and i know this isnt a good attribute, but i kinda assume the worst case sanario which isnt good cause well by doing this i end up causing more pain than i fix. anyway that is what i ment about those things. Love Don Link to comment
girl friend Posted March 26, 2008 Author Share Posted March 26, 2008 Hi, Oh ok. It sounds like you have unresolved issues with those past experiences though. Have you talked about them? Do you want to? working through it can help, cuz then the need for the breakdowns when the memories return will go. As for the panic attacks, you will develop the resources to cope with stress. For everything that happens to us, we learn from. "if it doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger.'' How are you these days? girl friend Link to comment
Donovan Posted March 27, 2008 Share Posted March 27, 2008 Hey girl friend, Well i will post one of the issues that i keep remembering. This i wrote a while back, but it is one of the issues that has been affecting me the most throughout my life (i know it is only begun ^^) but like that is one major one. I have been ok otherwise these days, just been busy with college work, avoiding my family and being with my girlfriend. Love Don Link to comment
girl friend Posted March 29, 2008 Author Share Posted March 29, 2008 Hi, Wow, i'm sorry. That was horrific abuse. Have you had counselling? did the self-injury start at the same time as that abuse? Or after/ or before? A lot of people who self-injurer suffered this type of abuse. Cutting can sometimes be a way of 'cutting the memory out', so to speak. How have u been coping lately btw, you had stopped self-injuring hadn't you? Does ur girlfriend know about the abuse? girl friend Link to comment
Donovan Posted March 30, 2008 Share Posted March 30, 2008 hey girl friend, No i didnt get any counceling it was never offered to me, my parentsa also didnt think i would remember it, so they left me with it alone in my mind. umm the self injury was after to like you ssaid to 'cut out the memory', it seemed to remove that pain to a point where i no longer felt anything. i've been ok lately, just having a few mild panic attacks about my upcoming exams, yes i have stopped self injury i havent cut or anything for now over 2 months. Yes, i told her of it one day once i got to know her better and once she confided in me enough to tell me that she will always care for me no matter what happens. Don Link to comment
girl friend Posted March 31, 2008 Author Share Posted March 31, 2008 Ok. Did it work - did it cut the memory out? Have you gone back at all and resolved the memory? How do you feel it has affected you, what happened i mean. Just because, cutting is a puntitive dangerous maladaptive coping mechanism. It can't be relied on. The issues beneath the cuts need to be resolved, buried, and put to rest. Well done for telling her, it takes guts to tell some. Especially someone you are so close to. She sounds like amazing girl! Let me know how you're doing k! girl friend x Link to comment
keyblade_wielder Posted April 6, 2008 Share Posted April 6, 2008 Does anyone know exactly how to figure out why ones cuts? I mean, I know we all have our own reasons for it but I am talking about stopping. Been about a year before I started again. Now its gets harder and harder to stop. I don't know what to think about and what to do to make it stop. To clarify some things, I am on meds for mental issues and I just don't know what to do with this... Link to comment
Jeen Posted April 6, 2008 Share Posted April 6, 2008 Why do people harm themselves? A person who self-harms is likely to have gone through very difficult, painful experiences as a child or young adult. At the time, they probably had no one they could confide in, so didn't receive the support and the emotional outlet they needed to deal with it. The experience might have involved physical violence, emotional abuse, or sexual abuse. They might have been neglected, separated from someone they loved, been bullied, harassed, assaulted, isolated, put under intolerable pressure, made homeless, sent into care, into hospital or to other institutions. Experiences like these erode self-esteem. Emotions that have no outlet may be buried and blocked completely out of awareness. If a trusted adult betrays or abuses them, and there are no other witnesses, children will often blame themselves. They turn their anger inwards. By the time they become adults, self-injury can be a way of expressing their pain, punishing themselves, and keeping memories at bay. There is often an absense of pain during the act of self-injury, rather like the absense of sensation that often occurs during abuse or trauma. The body produces natural opiates, which numb it and mask the emotions, so that little is felt or realised consciously. A badly traumatised person may end up feeling quite detached from their feelings and their body. Some may injure themselves to maintain that sense of being separate, and to convince themselves that they aren't vulnerable. Others may injure themselves in order to feel something and know that they are real and alive. There can often be myths and negative attitudes surrounding self-harming and they exist even in the healthcare industry. Professionals can often make assumptions as to why someone is self-harming and thereforeeee how to treat them. There can be instances of healthcare professionals with an unsympathetic attitude to someone who comes to them with injuries; for example, believing that a person who is cutting themself is causing their own injuries and thereforeeee wasting the time of the nurse who has to stitch their wounds. NICE (the National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence) produces guidelines on the treatment of self-harm, explaining the need for exploring the underlying reasons someone may be self-harming, rather than just the self-harming behaviour itself. link removed Link to comment
keyblade_wielder Posted April 7, 2008 Share Posted April 7, 2008 So Chris found out that I did something and it doesn't make me feel better. Makes me feel ashamed, lost, worthless and like crap. Link to comment
A World Away Posted April 12, 2008 Share Posted April 12, 2008 Hey, keyblade_wielder. I was just flicking through, and didn't like to see someone feeling so bad. You say someone found out you did something. Your body goes into shock from someone else knowing something you think they shouldn't. It is natural to feel the way you do. I don't really know your situation, so don't feel of great help. I'm happy to talk though. If you can, try and boost the way you feel. Think about your situation, and take a positive aspect of looking at it. This is difficult, but it works for some. Perhaps you could take out your feelings in other ways such as drawing, writing, exercising- anything you want! Hope your doing ok, and feeling better about things soon. Link to comment
girl friend Posted April 21, 2008 Author Share Posted April 21, 2008 Hey guys! How you all doing? girl friend Link to comment
Donovan Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 Hey girl friend, Im doing well how are you? ~Don Link to comment
girl friend Posted April 25, 2008 Author Share Posted April 25, 2008 Extremely excellent thank you. Whats been going on in your life? Link to comment
Donovan Posted May 3, 2008 Share Posted May 3, 2008 its been ok i have had a few bad things happen within the family, dad shouting and saying he is giving up on me and basically being a pain in the butt, but yeah i dont know what i am gonna do about it, i will probably just let it come and go, cause i need to finish my studies. ~Don Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.