I'm anxious and don't know what to do about it

[InLoveWithAlex]

I'm not exactly sure how to say what I want to say, I'll do my best..

For the past 2 days I have been really anxious

 

My SO started a new job as a cook 2 days ago and he love what he is doing, it's in a small place and it's pretty relax, he got lots of freedom.. Which I know he enjoy..

And his friends are back in town for the holidays, so he is spending time with them.. the usual chilling / drinking stuff!

His friends are like his brothers and I know he was missing them, so I don't take it bad that he spend all his nights with them..

We are in a LDR until we take a road trip and move together at the beginning of Feb 2008, and everytime we talk about this thing we are both excited..

He trust me entirely about this thing, and I know he got trust issues.. but not with me..

And, how we both plan, see things.. it's like the perfect match.. What we want.. it's amazing how we click when it comes to that..

 

Anyways.. for the past 2 days.. he went from texting me 20 times a day to.. not even texting me when I ask him to.. Before I would tell him "Text me when you're back" and he would.. now he doesnt..

We usually always e-mail each other.. To give updates about stuff and things we do together, like, after midnight I know he sleep or he knows im sleeping, or im out with friends.. he will leave me a email like you leave a note on a fridge kinda thing heh.. Knowing he/I will see it when we get up and open our laptops.. and then when we talk we talk about the messages we left.. that's our routine..

 

So.. yeah.. last night he got off work at 9, and I thought he would get home and come talk to me, but he went to his friend house..

When I went to bed at 2am he was still away on MSN and AIM, which, I know is not normal..

He always come home at midnight and if im not on msn he will text me and ill talk to him before going to bed.. he didnt..

 

It's like he didnt get home at all.. i was so worried..

I got up in the middle of the night 3 times.. was looking at his facebook, and the status of the friends he hang with..

Looked at my phone, started thinking the worst..

Like I text him and he tell me he got in a car accident..

Boy do I have imagination when I get anxious..

I started to think he passed out cause he was too drunk and got sick.. etc..

 

Got up at 7 this morning, and did my stuff online, and was looking when he would get online.. Which he did at around 9..

(He work at 10 today)

We talked a lil on msn but he had to leave cause, he got up, shower, got ready and left.. that's what he usually do, it's like 20 mins and he is ready to leave lol

 

But I don't know, I have no idea why I got so anxious.. it's like I coudn't control my ideas..

 

Ended up, that while typing this, he told me he was sorry that he will text me when he got some time off and that he will get home at 4..

 

And as I re-read what I typed, I found myself stupid for worrying like I am.. it's normal our routine change.. his life changed.. job, friends home..

But why do I worry like that?

How do I control it?

 

Ugh!

[yokohama_mama]

Just curious, how much of a relationship have you had with him offline?

[ebizdiva]

I would be curious to know about the offline relationship you have as well. One of the first things that you mentioned is that his friends are there for the holidays. He's going to be more focused on being with his friends at this time which is to be expected and believe me guys are the first ones to give another guy a hard time about "checking in." They may do it jokingly but for the guy who is getting teased there is absolutly no way that he's going to pick up that phone and text you with the guys around. I would not worry unless his patterns change even further like you guys having agreed to exchange gifts for the holidays but he doesn't get you anything or he signs online at 7am, you message him, but you he doesn't reply. I think you can wait his friends out and go on with your lives.

 

Just my $0.02.

 

Sharifah

[InLoveWithAlex]

Well, the answer wont be simple.. ill try to explain the best I can.. Because we live far away.. and because of the problems he had.. we havent met yet.

 

I know, I know.. Let me explain..

 

Since we decided to be more serious then just friends.. a lot happened in his life.. emotional stuff that he had to go tru and we both agreed to meet when things would be better..

The distance, and the fact that he is the kind of guy to take things extremely slow..

Imagine a snail..

because for him, trust is important, and a relationship is too.. he never really been in a serious one..

(He is really really shy)

and we decided to take things one step at the time, not rush anything, because we both believe we are meant for each other and itll be amazing once we meet..

But we wanted to just take things as they come..

 

We do everything like a couple, communication wise.. how we talk and care for each other, but there is no "i love you baby" thing.. 1- cause we do not believe in these kinda talk.. 2- because we both know we dont need to say i love you 20 times a day to know the person love us..

 

Its hard to explain, i guess its not the usual relationship..

 

Anyway, after i posted that thing, the same night we spent time together and he told me how busy he was.. and same thing yesterday..

He told me where he was that night (he got drunk, came home and passed out) and talked to me about moving together.. etc..

 

it's just weird for me because, before he got his job, i knew where he was.. he was at home and if he were going to bed, he would say Night..

 

but tonight he got home and asked me something I replied.. and he is now AFK.. been for 50 mins.. i know he works tomorrow at 10 so i know he went to bed..

 

its just, it changed because he changed his routine.. and to adapt is weird for me..

 

And also, he does text and take my calls when he is with his friends, he always do.. doesnt matter to him that his bros are near or not..

and he will always tell me, "im with a friend were chilling" kinda thing..

 

i try to say myself its nothing bad.. but still i worry..