Almost broke NC!!

[Pinkbunny]

Hi Gang! I broke up with him and I almost broke NC. Im just feeling so down and blue today. The last time I contacted my ex was to tell him happy bday. Today I kept having these racing thoughts about him and started to re-evaluate the relationship. I realized I have done some things wrong and so did he, but were not perfect.

 

Anyway I was going to contact him but then chose not to. I chose not to since I'm still feeling betrayed by him. I feel betrayed because he didn't tell me he was moving out of state until 1 month before he moves. He moves in January. He knew he was moving since April but did not tell me till December. Obviously this is a clue he didn't see me in his future.

 

I just need some inspiration to stay in NC so I can heal. I guess I was questioning whether or not to contact him, because of my emotional thoughts and the fact I realized I was partially wrong in some of this relationship. What do you all think?

[Gratsy]

Its all about self control and whether or not you can find other things to occupy your mind and thoughts.

[bustertypsy]

Hi Pink,it seems like you might be doubting your decision if you have strong desires to contact him.After all you ended it,so you have the most to regret.

I know if it was me in your shoes I would need to sit down and think very hard about the decision I made,ending the relationship.

 

Of course you did some things wrong.You're not perfect as you said.I believe when you have time to reflect on your relationship you can see that it wasn't just him who got you where you are today.It takes two to make it and two to break it.

 

All I will recommend is that you don't do NC if you truly want to reconcile the relationship.If you ended it,you need to initaite contact with him.Of course maybe you don't and forgive me if I assume any differently,but just try and be certain that you are doing the right thing.

[Pinkbunny]

I think we broke up for the best. I'm starting to realize he was emotionally abusive. He would give just enough compliments to keep me with him but than put me down a lot. I was miserable and had to get out. I don't think the relationship can be reconciled since I'm hurting bad still. I guess NC is best.

[Clabs]

Hey Pink

 

This is the beauty of NC and this is why it works. It gives you a chance to calm down a bit and let the dust settle. When your head is in a calmer state you begin to see things more clearly and allows you to revaluate your past relationship - and to identify what went wrong and why it did not and will not work.

 

In your case, you identify your relationship was abusive. Good for you for seeing this and keeping away because abusive relationships do nothing but suck you dry.

 

It is not easy when the urge to contact comes knocking, but you know what will happen if you give in and do contact - you'll just feel set back, weak and feeble. Good for you for staying strong on this!

 

Mark

[Pinkbunny]

thanks for the support everyone!!!! It's been hard, but I'm not gonna contact him.