My life recently, so confusing and need help

[Jonboy582]

Hello this may end up out be a long post but will keep it as short as possible. Pretty much I really don't understand whats wrong with me, I know someone is bound to post "There is nothing wrong with you remember that" but there just must be. For the most today I would like to talk about the ladies;-

 

1. I just got out of an almost 2 year relationship with a girl I/she thought we would spend the rest of our lives together. In a way it kind of broke down and we just called things off and decided we would stay best friends. This hurt me a bit but I knew we could not go on anymore. Ok we break up I go a little off the rails, go out every night and get 4 hours sleep then go to work or Uni the next day and not concentrate in lessons but I did not feel sad. So very soom (probably too soon) I hocked up with this other girl as I thought I did not love my ex anymore. On to point 2;-

 

2. Girl two its like a whirlwind romance. Got to know her in a couple of weeks and we really really hit it off. Then we get a hotel sleep together and start officially going out, dating, courting whatever you call it. First 2 weeks of this are amazing she is hugely into me, and I am the same towards her. I am told I am the nicest guy she has ever been with best in bed ......

Then suddenly she goes cold then hot then cold like a tap and a week later

"Im sorry but things are not going well between us. Its just happened too fast I'm not ready for a relationship I hope we can stay good friends". What the hell happened here went from full on crazy about each other to friend zoned in a week ! She says she needs to sort out problems in her life first but didn't give a hint that after that we would maybe hock back up or whatever.

 

3. Then if thats not bad enough me and ex 1 were making good way with being great friends. And I screwed that up last night. Don't ask me how

we didn't argue I just said some really unthoughtful things and really upset her by accident. I think I was subconsciously sabotaging our friendship to trick myself into feeling me and girl 2 had a chance.

 

Why do all girls become friends with me? What is it about me that sucks at relationships. I mean both girls have said I am like Mr perfect and both said it was there fault. But we all know the line "Its not you its me is a load of crap" and just there to try and spare someones feelings.

 

While righting this I feel I just died. Got a text from the ex1 "I don't think friends could work as friends you kind of killed a part of me last night". She means so much to me even as a friend more than anyone in my life and now this.

 

Jon

[Jonboy582]

Anybody ...... no ...... ok then

[EQD]

hang on i will try to help i just have to read it all first

[EQD]

ok i get it.

You have to remember you are only basing this off of 2 circumstances that occurred very recently (i assume)

And i really don't know what you told your ex for her to get so mad at you, but you can start by apologizing and saying you are really stressed about this breakup (which i gather is true)

So as with the other girl you will get that retraction when you move in too soon, that was very fast for someone you didnt really know. So my suggestion is not to worry about her anymore and try to keep it slow and serious next time you start to date someone. Like you said it was a "whirlwind romance" thats what they do, they get big and amazing and then they die.

So my advice is to not feel so hopeless about your situation, you just have to start figuring out what your best possible action is right now and following it all the way through.

[Jonboy582]

I guess most of that is true except the gf before also was like I think we should be friends.

 

And as for ex yes I have apologized. I was tired stressed and upset when I told her what I said. It was not intentfully hurtfully I was just stupid and did not think about what I was saying. As for the recent ex, im going to have a chat with her to see what happened and went wrong. And to see if I can sort out any of her issues along the way.

 

Jon

[EQD]

Of course the ex's are going to say that!.. we all say that, its like we have to say that lol. Its our way of saying "no hard feelings"

Its nothing dealing with you, everyone gets that stuff. Don't feel down about it.

As for trying to untie your recent ex's knots i dont think you are going to do it. If its anything like what i am thinking about then no contact would be the best thing to do right now. Don't forget that she could be using that as an excuse to brush you off.

Anyway keep your chin up, you are still doing better than alot of other people out there.