Are Women Given the Benefit of the Doubt When it Comes to Infidelity?

[Cannon]

Has anyone ever stopped to notice how infidelity by and large is portrayed in America (can't speak for other countries)? Everything from Hollywood to books, etc. Cheating is always depicted as man against woman. And IF a woman does cheat, it's always against some controlling, abusive, cold, etc antagonist that we aren't supposed to care for. It's ok if the woman cheats on this guy because she's found her TRUE love by herself. Let me give some examples...

 

Titanic Woman (Rose) cheats on man she was supposed to marry for Jack. But Billy Zane's character is depicted as controlling, cold, and an antagonist. So...it's ok for Rose to cheat on him because she was forced to be with him and she didn't really love him (sub-consciensly that what people think).

 

Out of Time Even though there was a twist at the end, you have Sanaa Lathan's character cheating on Dean Cain with Denzel Washington. Dean's character is depicted as an abusive husband, and a generally smug person. Again, an antagonist is cheated on so it's ok...

 

Ocean's Eleven Andy Garcia is another controlling antagonist who is in a relationship with Danny Ocean's ex. At the end, Julia Roberts leaves him because he chose money over her and she goes back to Ocean.

 

Beginning to see a trend?

 

The Illusionist Woman (Jessica Biel) finds out that Eisenheim the Illusionist is her long lost boyfriend from childhood. She's SUPPOSED to wed His Imperial Majesty, but decides (with Eisenheim) to blackmail him by faking her own death.

 

The above list is just off the top of my head...I'm sure there's MANY more not including books too. Of course you have the occasional rarity like that Richard Gere movie called Unfaithful.

[rs.dallaire]

I think the thrill-seeking female cheater is a relatively new breed and that Hollywood is still catching up.

 

In the movie Unfaithful, Diane Lane's husband eventually becomes a killer but initially they were just a normal couple going through the challenges of a long term relationship.

 

A few decades ago, women divorced only if their husbands were abusive. As much as things are starting to change in our society, I think the usual stereotypes still apply: men cheat because they're pigs and women cheat because their husbands neglect them emotionally.

 

In the movies that you described, the women aren't actually "cheating" on their partners but they rather choose a new partner before dumping their previous one. In Unfaithful, Diana Lane has no intention of leaving her husband. She just wants to have a bit of fun...

[Cannon]

I think the thrill-seeking female cheater is a relatively new breed and that Hollywood is still catching up.

 

In the movie Unfaithful, Diane Lane's husband eventually becomes a killer but initially they were just a normal couple going through the challenges of a long term relationship.

 

A few decades ago, women divorced only if their husbands were abusive. As much as things are starting to change in our society, I think the usual stereotypes still apply: men cheat because they're pigs and women cheat because their husbands neglect them emotionally.

 

In the movies that you described, the women aren't actually "cheating" on their partners but they rather choose a new partner before dumping their previous one. In Unfaithful, Diana Lane has no intention of leaving her husband. She just wants to have a bit of fun...

 

I disagree. You don't think women ever cheated on their husbands. Or girlfriends ever cheated on their boyfriends in the past just because they wanted to? I think it's always been like that, it's just that now women are less secretive about it and as I said above...the culture is sort of allowing it. I'm not saying guys cheating is any less serious or bad as it is though.

[mrmaximum]

In the movies that you described, the women aren't actually "cheating" on their partners but they rather choose a new partner before dumping their previous one. In Unfaithful, Diana Lane has no intention of leaving her husband. She just wants to have a bit of fun...

 

I fail to see how this is any different and more acceptable than never intending to leave an SO. It hurts just as much.

[mrmaximum]

You bring up a very good point and there are times that I have to wonder than myself. I've been on forums where the women as a victim attitude is more prevalent than this one. To be specific the attitude where if a man cheats, he should know better and if a woman cheats, it's just generally assumed that her hubby was mistreating her. It someone bothers me because cheating is unacceptable no matter the reason and excuses bad behavior on the part of the woman.

[servedcold]

I think people are starting to realize that the top reasons for cheating in both men and women are excitement, impulsivity, and wanting to get laid by someone new (EDIT: combined with a lack of integrity). Lots of claptrap out there about how women don't cheat unless the SO is not meeting their emotional needs, rubbish IMO. Women want excitement and to get some strange just as much as men, and are generally much more impulsive than men once the proper emotions are triggered.

 

You are correct that the media generally portrays the "evil white man." Notice how almost no domestic antagonists in the movies or television are female or any race other than white. I still jokingly refer to Lifetime as the "evil white man network" for this very reason.

[mrmaximum]

Over the years I've noticed the that white men are usually in the crosshairs of feminists. Not all feminists are bad and in a lot of cases do a lot of good in the world. However, there are a few bad apples who do their best to vilify men as much as they can and white men in particular.

[Cannon]

I haven't seen the movie yet...but even in Unfaithful someone said Gere's character BECAME an antagonist at the end. So we still have this idea that the male is required to be bad in some way.

[mrmaximum]

It was a very interesting movie and definetly worth the watch. I've read online that Diane Lane was thanked by many females for NOT being a powerless woman who was forced into an affair but had made a choice to do so. I think even women get a little upset at the whole 'we are victims' situation. You're correct, Richard Gere's character didn't have a particular motive for what he did, it was easily a crime of passion. When he killed his wife's former lover, you could see that no one was more surprised than him.

 

If you have been cheated on in the past, take this as a warning, all of the stereo typical things someone would do in an affair are displayed. This may bring up some old feelings (I watched this movie a little too soon after my relationship ended) which may be uncomfortable.