One Life

[Caesium]

This is a little poem i just wrote. Any feedback would be good.

It's about a guy falling in love with some girl, And he waits for her and waits for her, but she doesn't show. The message that i was trying to convey was 'You only live once, Make the most of it. Don't wait around for love, Go out and find it'

 

 

Im sitting in the dark

Trying to solve the riddles of my heart

There's something about you

I knew it was there from the start.

 

All our lives

We've worked to build a path

I'll sit at the edge

And wait for you to arrive

 

All this waiting

I counted a thousand flies

All on my own

Looks like you never showed

[Happiness0321]

I like it a lot! Thanks!

[Censored]

Hi caesium, I like it........ Didn't quite fit for me with your rationale though.