How do you get over the nervousness?

[RedPenguin]

Can some people please tell me what happened to you when you got turned down after asking a girl out or asking her out for a soda or something?

 

I know all she probably will do is say no thanks or something, but I'm trying to get rid of my darn nervousness or at least tame it.

 

How did anyone here get rid of their nervousness?

 

My nervousness is driving me crazy. I know that this girl is nice and friendly, yet, my nervousness is acting like she's a mean and evil person.

 

I guess because I ran in to mean and evil girls in High School, and it's like I am afraid of running in to those kinds of girls again.

 

I will not see this girl again until Monday, so until then, I'm trying to slap my nervousness in the face, so that I can much easier talk to her and ask her out for a soda.

 

I was to be like, "If you get a break before 1, would you like to go for a soda in the student lounge?"

 

It seems so easy yet my darn nervousness and anxiety is killing me somewhat.

[Ex_Nihilo]

I am in a similar position. I am not nervous but I am unsure of what to expect when I ask a girl out. I have not done it yet and will try for the first time on Friday.

 

I think if you don't make it a big deal it won't become one if she turns you down. Just ask the next girl and if that doesn't work just change your strategy.

[RedPenguin]

I think to tell you the truth, my mother really makes the nervousness. She doesn't like to see me hurt by women, so I think because of how she acts like women are not worth it and are just trouble, that it makes me feel that way, mostly subconsciously. Also, I did have many girls treat me very rude, even though I did make a few mistakes, but they treated me way harsher then I deserved.

 

Does anyone else feel that this can make a huge impact on someone?

[SuperSport]

The older you get, the less and less immature girls you are going to meet. Keep this in mind when you ask one out, like the one in the library. I was nervous as HELL when I was ready to ask a girl in my class out. I forced myself to ignore it, and when she surprisingly said no, I felt....relieved....First because I had the balls to ask her out, and 2nd, since she said no, I know we aren't compatible. Me and her text and talk all the time still. Neutral conversations, but we still talk, because I wasnt rude about it, and neither was she, shes not immature and didnt make a big deal about it so I think it worked out, and she saw that I had the balls to ask someone out as pretty as her. And even though she said no, i think she respects me in that sense. Red, Youre not gonna die, shes not going to point and laugh at you, she wont gather her friends around you and giggle at you. Its not high school anymore. If she says yes, have a great time where ever you go. Be your self, laugh, make jokes, etc. Good Luck.

[RedPenguin]

That's what I thought. I hope because of how she smiles at me all of the time when I look at her, that she will say yes.

 

I can't help loving her smile. I know we are not to go by looks, but I swear, when she smiles, it's so cute.

 

I wasn't even talking to her the one time, I was talking to her "boss" I guess if you want to say that, then I just looked over at her, big smile, then I looked again, smile.

 

So with all that smiling at me, I doubt that she's thinking, "I hate that son of a motherf***in bi***" LoL.

 

She even laughed at my I guess not so funny joke. Her computer was acting slow, so I said something like that computer is acting fun. Then I said, "I'm in to computers and still have problems." I thought it was kinda lame after I said it, but she looked at me and smiled.

 

I was like, hmmm, appearntly I got her to laugh at a classic and old line that wasn't that great. LoL.

 

I think my complimenting her on her glasses, which are really cool, made her happy. I don't think she could have said thank you any nicer. Then when she told me her name, I said, I always liked that name.

 

The reason I bring up her saying thank you to my compliment is because, you know how sometimes when you give someone a compliment, they just say, thank you, but it sounds like, "thank you, whatever"?

 

That's why I feel this girl is girl is very nice and friendly, because even though her job says she has to be nice, it doesn't say, that she has to smile at the same person over and over, LoL.

[SuperSport]

What youre doing with your jokes is perfect. What is even more important, is that she is laughing at your corny jokes. Even though they arent stand up material, she still laughs and that is very important and a good sign. Complimenting on articles of clothing (in this case her glasses) and she gives off great vibes is a good thing for you. Remember, she will never think she hates you, even if you are denied, she is not an immature HS student, shes practically an adult.

[RedPenguin]

What youre doing with your jokes is perfect. What is even more important, is that she is laughing at your corny jokes. Even though they arent stand up material, she still laughs and that is very important and a good sign. Complimenting on articles of clothing (in this case her glasses) and she gives off great vibes is a good thing for you. Remember, she will never think she hates you, even if you are denied, she is not an immature HS student, shes practically an adult.

 

Also she gave me her name, which is probably a good sign.

[SuperSport]

Also she gave me her name, which is probably a good sign.

Without you asking??? Niiiiiiiiiiiiice.

[RedPenguin]

Without you asking??? Niiiiiiiiiiiiice.

 

Nope, I wish, I had to ask.

 

I said, "May I ask your name?"

 

She didn't really like how I accidentally called her a librarian, because she's actually a library clerk. Then I asked her the difference and she said that she doesn't have a degree. She was nicer before the computer gave started acting slow, so I think that maybe was just annoyed at the computer.

[SuperSport]

Nope, I wish, I had to ask.

 

I said, "May I ask your name?"

 

Oh ok. Be sure to call her by her name when you see her next time.

[RedPenguin]

Oh ok. Be sure to call her by her name when you see her next time.

 

That shows that you remembered her name and are interested right?

[SuperSport]

That shows that you remembered her name and are interested right?

You got it bro. Keep us posted on monday.

[RedPenguin]

You know someone suggested, slipping an index card when I check out a book, that just said, "Fancy a soda blah blah blah". I'm just curious, what would happen if I did do it that way, anyway?

[SuperSport]

You know someone suggested, slipping an index card when I check out a book, that just said, "Fancy a soda blah blah blah". I'm just curious, what would happen if I did do it that way, anyway?

Never. This shows you are too chicken to ask her out in person with your own voice. (Especially when you are standing in front of her anyways)

[RedPenguin]

That's what I thought, so that's why I was surprised that they even brought it up.

[SuperSport]

That's what I thought, so that's why I was surprised that they even brought it up.

It is very childish. You can go back and laugh at the person who said it. Or ask them to do it, and see how it works out. Ha.

[RedPenguin]

I don't know why but ever since High School, I've been afraid to say people's names, so I just look at them and wait until they notice me and talk to them.

 

I know it's a bad habit, but I know that I will get over it eventually.

 

But I think maybe it's not something bad, because I noticed tons of other people doing it, even people who know me.

[Phaser]

About the card thing, well I don't think it would do much for your nervousness in the long run anyway. It is just avoiding the problem.

Just take a deep breath and go for it.

Anyway good luck man.

[RedPenguin]

About the card thing, well I don't think it would do much for your nervousness in the long run anyway. It is just avoiding the problem.

Just take a deep breath and go for it.

Anyway good luck man.

 

Yeah, that's what I figured. It didn't make sense anyway. It sounded like it would just have more problems then answers/solutions.

[RedPenguin]

Man, it's driving me crazy, having to wait until Monday, but I have no choice. If it wouldn't have been the Thanksgiving holiday, I would have seen her on Wednesday and gotten it over with.

[Phaser]

I think you need to engage an activities until Monday to get your mind off this.

[Flux]

I think a shot or two of vodka before would do the nerves a treat. It will calm your nerves, its not called Dutch Courage for nothing, lol. Just a little to take the edge off of it, but not too get drunk.

 

Also keep your mind or it, and relax. Chances are shes not evil and she'll understand that your just nervous about it.

[phoenix91]

Well, the first step to get over the nervousness is to stop thinking, dude, you think about it too much... I'm not saying not think at all, I'm just saying that you shouldn't think too much...

Just treat it as if you are talking to your family (do you actually think hundreds of times before saying something to your mother .. ?), although you don't do that, they love you, right ... ?

 

Good Luck...

[RedPenguin]

All 3 of you are right.

 

I'm forcing myself to stop thinking about it, so that I can enjoy my day trip to NYC, that I'm going to tonight.

 

I gotta get my directions down pat, even though I already know my way around NYC.

[RedPenguin]

Isn't it true, that most guys can't ask beautiful girls out and that's why so many are single?

 

I wonder if that means guys who ask beautiful women out, have an advantage because those girls feel like accepting a tad bit more because they are rarely asked out.