Why do women play games and test guys?

[CamaroJoe]

I met this girl over a year ago and we've been going out off and on. Well, she started playing games like canceling me and changing plans in the middle of doing whatever and I finally told her that I'm not dealing with it and that if she's going to be flaky she can find someone else. I wasn't mean about it but I just let her know that I'm not a chump or an AFC.

 

Well, she straightened up for a while but then we went out last Saturday. We then made plans for Sunday (they were tentative). Needless to say, it didn't happen. However, the night before we had a weird kiss, it was very awkward but no details. lol

So then Monday she called and then asked me to call her back on a message. I didn't call her back that night because I went out to eat with my brother because he was going back to the Military. So I called her back the next day because she sounded like she had something to tell me.

 

She didn't call me back until the next day and then when I inquired about what she wanted to talk about she said she changed her mind and then she said that she didn't want to tell me over the phone...Good or bad?

 

I talked to her today and she mentioned me coming over Friday (although I can't because I have to work) and meet her mom?? Where is this coming from? Does that mean anything?

 

I don't know how to take it slow with a woman. It's usually me playing hard to get, them getting me, and us in bed and it sucks because we don't build a foundation for a relationship and it doesn't last. So what does all this wanting to say something to me and inviting me to meet her parents mean? (She told me she didn't want to meet my parents yet because for her it's a big deal).

[LauraNYC]

I'm going to be really honest...if I feel slighted by the man I'm dating--maybe he cancelled on me or didn't pay enough attention to me--I will cancel on him a couple of times. It's insecurity, immaturity, power struggle, etc. Unfortunately I often date men just as immature as me so we spend more time cancelling on each other than actually dating! So lame. But if I'm dating someone more mature and relationship savvy--maybe this description fits you?--if they recognized I act this way out of insecurity and instead of returning the favor in kind, if they show me more attention and patience I stop cancelling, relax and enjoy the relationship instead of fighting it.

[Just-a-Girl]

I'm going to be really honest...if I feel slighted by the man I'm dating--maybe he cancelled on me or didn't pay enough attention to me--I will cancel on him a couple of times. It's insecurity, immaturity, power struggle, etc. Unfortunately I often date men just as immature as me so we spend more time cancelling on each other than actually dating! So lame. But if I'm dating someone more mature and relationship savvy--maybe this description fits you?--if they recognized I act this way out of insecurity and instead of returning the favor in kind, if they show me more attention and patience I stop cancelling, relax and enjoy the relationship instead of fighting it.

 

Haha - girl, why do we always date immature guys who play stupid games that WE get caught up in!? That's exactly what's happening to me right now. I don't know how to stop it. I either walk away or I come out and tell him how I feel - which is totally and utterly terrifying.

 

On the topic of this gal in particular...I think she's very self-conscious and unsure of where you and her are. She's also afraid to lose her identity - dating doesn't mean becoming someone else...it should mean adding a whoile new side of yourself, a valuable, side - a partner, a teammate.

 

Try not to do what we do (playing games back to them) and be straight with her. It sounds like she wants you in her life and just is terrified to let you "in". Tell her you want in you want to be with her, adding confidence to her should help. But, don't go so far as to get needy, that's a hard road to come back from.

 

Good luck.

[punk76]

Haha - girl, by playing along with those games, you are no less immature. either call the guy out or move on.

[elizmdavis]

If you are getting a bad feeling about the actions that she is taking, then maybe you should listen to yourself instead of trying to read into her actions:

 

*** i.e. : She didn't call me back until the next day and then when I inquired about what she wanted to talk about she said she changed her mind and then she said that she didn't want to tell me over the phone...Good or bad?

 

I talked to her today and she mentioned me coming over Friday (although I can't because I have to work) and meet her mom?? Where is this coming from? Does that mean anything? ***

 

Really think about how these actions are making YOU feel, is all of this worth your time? Think of what else you are missing out on due to all of this backlash that you don't deserve.

 

When I look at it from a different angle, all I understand is that you are expecting her to be a certain way, is that because you have an idea of how you want a girl to treat you? If so, then why waste your time on her? I believe that life should not be wasted. If you believe that there is someone out there that will meet what you deserve, then you should go for that. Love does not know games and deceit

[3boys]

Wait.....see the bold part of your post above. Think about why YOU do it and maybe that will shed some light on why SHE is doing it.....