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Still in love w/my ex and he gives me HUGE mixed messages


soredtherose
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I broke up with my ex-boyfriend/fiance' about 4 months ago. We had a 4 year relationship and prior to that we were close friends for 6 months. We had a creative project together too. Anyway, we were everything to each other and then when I suggested couples therapy or we break up after arguing became too much of an everday thing, he decided to take the latter and get out of the relationship. This devastated me of course since he always told me he loved me more than anything, could never be with anyone else, etc. and I believed we could overcome the issues. A week later he was already dating a groupie type and is still in a relationship with her and says they love each other.

My problem is this. Everytime he calls or speaks to me he asks if I'm seeing anyone (I'm not) and then proceeds to want to discuss our sex life we had while he's getting turned on (that one part that was great between us at all times during th relationship). I ask why he wants to talk about it if he's so into the new girl and he says he "doesn't know why".

I've professed undying love and cried for him to not throw it all away and he just tells me how I hurt him and that he has to "teach me a lesson" and that we'll never get back together. Yet he continues to want to talk about sex in other phone calls (after I've said not to) and recently asked if I'd be his 'mistress' in secrecy so he can still carry on with his new girlfriend and not lose her!!! I found this to be quite insulting since I'm the one he has history with and she has only dated him for 3 months or so. Of ourse I'm not going to do this and he admitted he can't go through with it.

My question is what the #$%%^ does his behavior mean especially since he relishes telling me we'll never be together again and then follows it up with this sort of behavior?!

I know he wants his cake and to eat it too, but any other nsight is appreciated.

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You said it in the last sentence. He wants his cake and eat it too. He does not love this new girl either and I am sorry to say but he doesnt seem to love you. These are not mixed messages. This guy is clearly letting you know that it is over, he has moved on and he doesnt ever want you back. What more do you need to know? Stop holding on to hope because it will only hurt you. My ex did me the same way. I had to cut him off completely. Now it doesnt hurt as bad and hell I dont want his butt back now. Believe me when this guy grows up he will say how he made a mistake. By then you will be gone. Dont contact this guy and dont answer his calls either. Move on and heal. This guy is playing mind games with you and he knows that you are falling for it. I dont want to sound harsh, but us women need to stop letting these guys have the best of us. When a guy tells us that they dont want us, we need to simply say ok and goodbye. This is a life lesson. Please stop allowing thus guy to hurt you emotionally.

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DONT TALK TO HIM

 

Get someone else he aint worth it.

 

If he did this to you hes gonna do it again make up a story of how u met someone else it should do the trick tell him u r madly in love with this other person and that u dont want to talk to him anymore

 

i really surgest u find someone who is much nicer theres plenty around u r just looking in the wrong places go for a quite person they are the ones who r kind and aint jerks i have seen plenty of girls who go after the bad boys only to end up heart broken

 

i hope this helps u alot

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My goodness! Your boy friend said he is "teaching you a lesson"! Do you really need soemone to teach you a lesson? Do you have self-esteem?

 

I don'tl thisnk there is sending any Mixed message like you said. I think you are still living in denial, deny that he already move on and find someone else. People chage. His love is nto there, he is manipuilating you now for fun.

 

Give yourself time to grief and save your love for others.

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