meanlady

Gladly you find teh turth, read your first post halfway through, i think most readers know what is goign on and you, as well, know what is goign on very well. If you really want to move on, you have to cut any contact with her, you don't have to befriend with her at this time,maybe after 6 months when you are totally "recovered". I don't see any possiblity between you and her wheh things happen like this .Even she choose you eventually, it seems you are not her first choice. Why do you have to be the second best? Why do you have to be her " back up"? Let her know that you don't need her and you still can be happy

Senna, There is certainly life and happiness after the broken heart. Breakign up, to me, are the darkest hours of my life, when i was in that period, i thougth and was so scared that I will never be happy again, but today, i finally believe what other peope have said, " there is life after broken heart". I am feeling much much better and happier, even I am alone now. One day you will knwo you will be happy again and become a stronger person.

reading your post make me feel so angry, you shouLd not blame him, you should blame yourself,it is beascue you allow yourself to be manipulated, to be victimised! And you have to be responsibel for the outcome. There is no trust between you and him, no more, don't invest your time and love in the relationship which is already dead. THERE IS NO HOPE. WAKE UP!

My goodness! Your boy friend said he is "teaching you a lesson"! Do you really need soemone to teach you a lesson? Do you have self-esteem? I don'tl thisnk there is sending any Mixed message like you said. I think you are still living in denial, deny that he already move on and find someone else. People chage. His love is nto there, he is manipuilating you now for fun. Give yourself time to grief and save your love for others.

How many times you have forgiven her? Ask yourself, some peopel just take it for granted, like your girl friend might think you will forgive her anyway/ ( like what you said, she keeps breaking your trust) No trust, the relationship is over~

Hi. Sorry,just a silly question here, don't mind. You mentioned you had 2 marriage/divorce before, I do not know the reason but is it possible that you are always attracted to guys with problems? ( like this one who does not pay bill and need to be taken care of?) Think about it

Hey Don't go! You can write a letter, too but you don't have to send it. Think about you are moving on a little bit finally! If you see her in person you will definitely "move back", not forward! Do you want to get painful feeling again? This is just my opinion, if you are my best friend, I will certainly tell you : "NO. don't see her"!!! Meet her when you are totally healed and 100% moved one. Maybe at that time when your broken heart is healed, you won't be interested in seeing her at all. Honest! Cheers

Hi Street I admire your courage of doing so, you have plenty of self-esteem and you are doing the very right things! Take care

Hi I read all the posts of your issue , what I can tell you now is that you must leave this very destructive relationship, Mar's first post is absolutely right. Tell you . i was there before and I know how hurt you are feeling now. My ex-BF is maniac depressive. sex additicon, cheatings. I , myself was in a co-dependent relationship with him , the on and off relationship eventally drained me, I ended up seeing the doctor, see the psychologist and "almost" took medication fro becoming depression . The relatioship made me really miserable more than a year but you know where the problem is? I wasn't unable to "LET GO "..what is wronge with me??? I think i am a healthy, happy and active and attractive person but now i know i probably have childhood issue as well. Hey, don't be scared of letting go, at this moment, i am still feeling pain of losing this man I love but deep in my heart I know I am doing the very right thing for my own sanity. All my friends long ago knew i was in this kind of relatioship, they had been really worry about me, wanted me to leave this man and should not contact him anymore. my counsellors said the same thing to me, they knew exactly what was going on and knew this is abusive cycle, if i won't stop now, it will be more difficult of letting go. Now I regreted i did not listen to what my friends and counsellors have told me, I let it go on and off,on and off, it took a great deal of me to let go , that hurts so so much. I was so scared my life will be in dark forever When your boy friend know you are no longer "useful" for his emotional crotch, they usually will move on to find other vicitims to fullfill their co-dependent cycle. before they find other one, they will keep drag you in, until they find one to manipulate , they possibly will dump you. Have you read "Co-dependent no more" by Melody Beattie, the book is so so wonderful, she has another book called "language of letting go" These books can help you. I want to tell you that you have to prepare your own healing process, you are dealing with a guy with depression and co-dependent issue, it is extremely difficult, you will never be albe to change him, the only perosn you can change is yourself. If you love him, let him take responsibility for himself. Let go, let god, if one day he becomes a better person and find he truly loves you, and if things are meant to be, he will be back. If not, please try to rescuse yourself, not him. I was in your story before (for 2 years) and i am still licking my own wounds now, I can tell you these 2 years were full of tension and confusion, fear and pain. I was so unhappy in the relationship and lost myself and my direction, i was so scared of losing him. But, has you asked yourself, you want to be with him based on what reason? Is it out of love or out of your own fear? Fear of feeling unworthy ?Fear of been lonely and abandement? The cheating is the most difficult part for me to overcome, he kept doing it and will blame his cheatings on me.. you will never realise what is in his brain, he can be sweet but also can be very evil, they only way to make yourself in peace is forgive him and let it go. take care, my friend, you are not alone Hugs [/code]

Hey I want to recommend you a nice book called "Women who love too much " ( it happens to men, too ) It is a book about the obsession with/addicted to your partner. The reason you want her, is not out of love, it is out of your fear, fear of lonliness. This is very unhealthy relationship.

Aa long as there is fear, you can not love!

I just can not stop myslef from replying your post!!! Taking him back ?Are you out of your mind? This is gonna happen again! You are still young, so many good men there waiting for you .Don't take his s**t. You have to Love and Respect Yourself, think again what you have been through...i am glad that you find out in 2 months...if you find in 2 years..its gonna hurt more and more difficult to let go! Take care