I think my love life is over now.......

[Trojanmn2]

Me and my g/f who I truly am in love with and I know she is in love with me have been going for 4 months this coming tuesday and now I think its gonna be over soon. I feel so stupid for the way I get and she blames herself when its NOT her. We knew each other for a year before we got together and I pulled her out of a shitty relationship and then later we got together. But now I think I put her in another one again. As you can see my confidence is shot up to hell right now. We know our love for each other is real but recently I feel like my feelings are getting the best of me. I always keep my feelings in check, dont overreact, I never get mad or upset or lash out her, I never downplay her or make snide rude comments or play games with her, I analyze the entire situation when they come up or at least try to until now. I trust her 200% with everything, but does that trust go to the people she knows even though she doesn't know them too well either? She claims if I trust her, I trust her judgement with other people. But she doesn't even know them that well so HOW can I. I can to an extent if knew them I believe.

 

You see, I have had my string of bad relationships and so has she, I took a year off from relationships because I hate the feelings I receieved or potrayed while I was in them...it truly sucks to feel this way. The feelings I talk about are Jealously, insecurity, diminished confidence, untrusting, and worries. I hate worrying....I really do. She gave me reasons not to because I knew her better than that. But sometimes she does things that makes me worried. She has started this job after we got together. She's also a guys chick, so she's one of the guys but I know some rules are broken when some guys start having feelings for her. She's so nice and sweet, people can't help to feel that way. I just wish sometimes that she wouldn't do that. I don't want to control her, she never wants to be mean and is nice to people. She is so nice to people and I think thats where they get misled. So these people I can't trust. She can't see where I can't trust other people she knows, she is so set in her beliefs and sometimes is hard-headed to listen. I accept that, I accept the things I can't change, because I don't want to change her, I fell in love with her BECAUSE of her. I'm so emotionally attached but I feel that I put myself in that position and now I feel more emotionally attached than she is. Maybe its me not being satisfied. I think it may be that and that I learn my lesson hard. I don't like to nitpick and I have a hard time descerning the difference. But when I talked to her earlier today about all this including her new guy friends we seem to fix the problems but I worried so much how she felt about me now about being insecure and jealous. I don't know, I never had these feelings of insecurity and jealousy before with her! I believed I would never have a reason to until now. So I back to what happened, I talked to her again tonight, it felt a little awkward because of the silences and the withdrawals physically. I asked her if she thought of me as a that type of guy of jealousy and insecure, she said no and blamed herself, I told her that I found out the reason why now this problem with myself has come up and I told her that i was more attached than she was, because I PUT myself in that position, I dont' doubt her love and the things she do. But after that she wouldn't even look at me, and said she wanted to go, and she said she wanted to go an hour ago when she called me when she got off. She never tells how she feels, and undermines herself alot with uncertain answers like "i don't know" "i don't care" "it doesn't make a difference" She doesn't want to cause problems and neither do I, i just want to get through this and now she went home, we said we love each other still, but she wouldn't even look at me while saying it, I know she's disappointed with me, and now I'm afraid that she won't talk to me now and would want us to be apart. I feel so stupid for what I have done We didnt' even say anything about talking to each other tonight, so I wait. We shouldn't have these issues, but we do everytime I want to talk about them to try and prevent them.....I want to prevent them as much as possible but i fail every time it seems because we get depressed, I guess I say the wrong things. If anybody has read through all this, I thank you from the bottom of my heart, I've run out of places to go with my breath.

[Ashland71]

It was a lengthy post and I really enjoyed it. I really think you should breathe! After you take a few deep breaths maybe you will feel better. I think it is obvious that you care about this girl and that she cares about you. I just want you to think about that and hopefully you will see that no matter who she talks to it doesn't change that. I don't think that her being nice to people is really something that should worry you very much. Also if you think that maybe the people she is being nice to might get the wrong impression as in mistake her kindness for something a little friendlier than she intends I have to admit that sort of thing does happen. I think you just have to trust her to be able to handle that sort of thing if it happens. Also don't let your insecurity get the best of you in this situation. You can't be by her side ever minute and even if someone else does realize how great she is she still likes you. I hope this helps. I really do wish you the best and keep breathing.

[Cid]

Trust is the key. If you cant trust her then it is over sounds harsh but that is how to goes and she would agree with me about that one. If it barthers you that much talk to her dont say "dont talk to outher men" that will end the relasionship right there, let her hang out with outher guys we are not out there to take her from you. Just becouse she is nice to guys douse not meen that she is cheating on you. Let her hang out with guys and even when you are not there, if she goes to a movie it douse not meen that it is a date or something like that. Like I sead TRUST is the key.