Saw her after a month, it bought everything back

[Archivist]

Lastnight I went out to a party with some friends of mine. I knew my ex was going with another set of close friends we have. Its just so akward between us two, all we could manage were bleak "hellos" and "alrite". I had to get myself very drunk, just to not feel akward around her, and enjoy myself.

 

I want closure from the realtionship, and i'm trying the no contact rule. But in order to take my mind off things I have to surround myself with friends. We have the same friends and well, we will run into each other quite often. Is this bad for the healing process? Its quite hard to avoid, I hate sitting at home with nothing to do on the weekends, knowing shes probably out enjoying herself with our friends.

 

I try to see my other friends, but its just not the same. I dont want to hide from her or the friends that we share. I've only seen her twice since we broke up a month ago. The first time it was too akward to even get a chance to say hi to each other, I ended up sending her an SMS saying I didn't mean to be rude, but it was too akward, and she understood, it was too akward for her too. The second time was lastnight, and I find myself missing her so much today.

 

Does anyone think that seeing her is not good for my healing process?

 

Does this feeling go away over time?

 

Will I be able to get closure if I still see her on a fairly regular basis?

 

I still want to get back with her, although I respect her descision of freedom, how would this affect our chances?

 

Thanks to anyone who can offer me any advice.

[kimg]

Cutting the ties is the best way to heal if you ask me. I dont know how you can get around seeing her being that you two share the same friends. Some alone time would helpy you heal as well. Spend some time to yourself for awhile and think about what you want. When you do go out and see her, just speak and try your best to enjoy the time out. Good luck!

[bebcollege]

I'm going through the same thing. Its been about 4 months for me. And I've only seen her twice. And I think you gotta cut the ties. If you see her it brings back the feelings. Both times I saw my ex I wanted her back and it set me back a couple weeks. Unfortuanltly I have to almost ask my friends if there gonna be hanging with her and if they are I'll make sure I'm not around for the most part. And while it does suck, if your in college like me it shouldn't be to hard to find some new people to hang with as I've been doing so far. Not to say you should ditch your old friends but in case there with her you got some other people to keep ya busy.

[Archivist]

Thanks for your replies.

 

So does anyone think that I can still heal even if I continue to see her?

 

I really don't want her to think that I've taken this really badly, and have to start hiding from her or my friends. When I've seen her, I dont throw myself at her, I try to keep away, so its not like shes constantly in my face. I still had a good time and enjoyed myself. It's just afterwards when shes gone or when I leave I find myself thinking about her. Does this get easyier or worse if I see her more? If it gets easyier then, maybe I can still get closure. If it doesn't get any better for me, then I will really make the effort to avoid contact.

 

Does this sound like it could work?

[meanlady1]

People who broke up want to move on and healed as soon as they can.

Keep seeing her wil make you move "backward" and cetainly will prolong the healing of your broken heart. Have other peopele's experience not convincing enough for you?

 

There is nothing to be ashamed of "not showing up" with friends when she is around .Be yourself, do the things which is good for your own at this moment.

[nickim]

I dont think it will help, if you read my post you will see what I mean( did he or didnt he). Time heals all Im sure of that, but seeing that person with all the feelsing you still have just keeps you re-living that pain, we have friends together after 7 1/2 years mostly all our friends are together and thats hard but make new friends, that way you've got your own life outside the break up world but dont forget about the old keep in touch but avoid the her times, out of sight out of mind, that seems to help it along faster, by all means miss her and remember the good times thats just part of the healing process, but distance will do 2 thing help you move on or make the heart grow fonder, distancing yourself can be good if you want her back or you dont.

[Archivist]

Thanks again everyone, I think your all right, the day I made that post, I wasn't thinking straight, I just really missed her, I still do, but just afer a few days I'm beginning to think rationally again. Thanks again. But I often wonder, is she even thinks of me at all, she does message me when she sees me on MSN I've decided to block her for now. I just hope she doesn't ask our friends if I'm online.