I'm weird for not clubbing too much? How?

[zpivat]

2 weeks ago my gf and I had this silly argument and she wasn't talking to me for 2 days. But we got things sorted out and made peace.

 

But lately I notice she's been a little cold and distant, and I asked her if she still held grudges from our previous argument, and she said "a little bit" (I think it's rather annoying that she hasn't been to honest so far...)

 

Then I asked her what else bugs her, and she says that I annoy her sometimes, and hence she's been cold and kind of hostile towards me. She was hesitant to say at first, but after some encouragement she finally admitted that she thinks I'm such an annoying weirdo, an antisocial for not going clubbing as much as she does (she goes almost every weekends, and at least twice during the weekdays, with lots of drinking). I told her that while I go do it once in a while, I don't do it that much because the clubbing scene isn't really my style, and I have a life and lots of friends too, and socialise in different ways such as sporting events, hanging out with friends at the park, picnic, sightseeing at downtown, beach, museums, musical concerts, eating out, etc. (isn't it boring and monotone to go clubbing alllllll the time anyway??!!)

I just feel that socialising can be done in many different ways, but she insists that if it's not done by clubbing, then it's not enough, and that I'm a loser.

When I explained my logic to her, all she came up with was a "whatever".

 

The bottomline is, she looks at me like such a low human being for not clubbing as much as she does, and I'm not too sure how to handle this.

 

I feel hurt and offended now....am I being unreasonable??

What do I tell her??

[JadedStar]

Dude, i think you and her just are incompatible. Doesn't sound like you share the same values, and she is immature enough to look at you as a "loser" becaues you don't share her partying instincts.

 

I think you will have many problems in this relationship. How vested are you in this? I swear I think it would be easier to find someone in which you share core values and such...you sound like you just dont like that scene and i think that is just fine. Let her find a clubbing boy...then her nightmares might REALLY start. LOL

 

You are not being unreasonable. She is really rude to tell her b/f he is an annoying weirdo. There is no way on earth i would stay with someone who told me that. I'd pack his bags for him.

[Entropy Smith]

You can only keep up the club scene for so long before it brings you down and gets stale.

 

Dump her.

[CarnelianButterfly]

You don't like the same things she does, you accept that she doesn't. It's not going to get easier unless she suddenly has the epiphany that your choices are not the same as hers. She sounds rather unreasonable and it might be best to cut and run.

[tmp0620]

I agree with JS.

 

Personally, I think people that go clubbing all the time are losers... which is why I'd never date a serial clubber.

 

But like JS said, it sounds like you two aren't compatible. If she thinks you're 'anti-social' because you're not interested in the same social scene as her than she's got some growing up to do.

[ghost69]

sounds like she is ready to end.

[usababe]

I agree with JS.

 

Personally, I think people that go clubbing all the time are losers... which is why I'd never date a serial clubber.

 

But like JS said, it sounds like you two aren't compatible. If she thinks you're 'anti-social' because you're not interested in the same social scene as her than she's got some growing up to do.

 

 

 

Ironlion85... I don't think all people that go clubbing are losers, that's a bit of a generalisation don't you think. My friends and I go clubbing once a week, does that make me a loser?

[Hardrock]

Ironlion85... I don't think all people that go clubbing are losers, that's a bit of a generalisation don't you think. My friends and I go clubbing once a week, does that make me a loser?

 

LoL, Yes. You're a club troll.

[usababe]

Lol that's what I thought... thanks hardrock!

Seriously though getting back to the original topic... I would never critisize a guy I was with if he didn't want to go, that's not fair.

[YeahOkWhateverIguess]

if she's in a relationship and she clubs that much, then she should be single. Clubbing that much while dating someone who isnt into it is ASKING for something bad to happen. No good comes outta clubbing that much. All thats there is booze - which she does alot, as you say, .. and when she loses her inhibitions that often, what happens? Ya just never know.

 

MOVE on.

[ghost69]

how young is this girl? sounds to me she found the party life and is drawn to it. i've seen this happen a lot.

[zpivat]

if she's in a relationship and she clubs that much, then she should be single. Clubbing that much while dating someone who isnt into it is ASKING for something bad to happen. No good comes outta clubbing that much. All thats there is booze - which she does alot, as you say, .. and when she loses her inhibitions that often, what happens? Ya just never know.

 

MOVE on.

 

Yes, when losing her inhibitions, she sounds and appears happy and all that, and looks like she's really into me. When sober, she's somehow so different. It's been like this only for the past couple of weeks though.

You made a really good point: that if she's really into clubbing, then may be she should be single.

I'm more than happy to give her the freedom she needs, even if it means going to clubs. If she is happy, I am even happier. What upsets me is how she seems to underestimate me for not doing it as much as or the way she does.

 

how young is this girl? sounds to me she found the party life and is drawn to it. i've seen this happen a lot.

 

I'm 24 and she's 21 =).

[ghost69]

Yes, when losing her inhibitions, she sounds and appears happy and all that, and looks like she's really into me. When sober, she's somehow so different.

You made a really good point: that if she's really into clubbing, then may be she should be single.

I'm more than happy to give her the freedom she needs, even if it means going to clubs. If she is happy, I am even happier. What upsets me is how she seems to underestimate me for not doing it as much as or the way she does.

 

 

 

I'm 24 and she's 21 =).

 

i kind of see the answer now.

[robinhood]

hi, dont worry about it. im exactly the same. im probably more of an extremist than you in that i hardly ever go clubbing. maybe once in a month, and i think its perfectly fine. i think you and your girlfriend havent got the same personality, so try to reconsider the relationship. hope that makes you feel less alone.

[tmp0620]

Ironlion85... I don't think all people that go clubbing are losers, that's a bit of a generalisation don't you think. My friends and I go clubbing once a week, does that make me a loser?

 

I meant from my point of view... I wouldn't call you a loser or anything. I'm just saying that's not my thing... I can't relate with people who go clubbing often.

[ilovepoemsalot]

It's more like it's her who's the weirdo for the way she thinks.