Is 9 months too late

[leyton]

To make a long story short...My fiancee moved country to be with me 2.5 years ago...She broke with me on new years eve after a big fight..We both said 3 months ago that we are each others true love but she said that she had changed...we stayed in constant contact and got back together for a few daysin March but she was very cold and I subsequently found out she was having a rebound relationship..We kept calling each other for several months and in June I said that I needed a partner and had to move on..In July she asked me to go on holiday but I had had enough and said I had already booked to go away with my X wife and children only to be with the children...since then she has called me on two or three occasions to see what the situation is with my X wife...Basically I have chased her for 9 months and she would not commit herself to me using her work as an excuse...(She is starting a business)although during this time she has called me more than I her..I month ago she said that we would not be together and she was clear now although she has said these sort of things before, anyway, I said that I did not want contact anymore...after 3 weeks of silence she called to ask me a favour and I flatly refused saying that I did not want to be involved anymore...She has not called since...I have asked several times for her to return some things of mine by post and to come and collect her things from my house but each time she makes an excuse...I have tried to be strong now and not called for one month...As I say I have chased her for 9 months and got nowhere....I think that she may be seeing someone else now I am not sure...Is it too late to play the no contact game?...why is she leaving her things at my house and not returning my things by post?...Will the no contact have any impact on her after all this time?

[Ash]

I'm not sure what you want the outcome of the "no contact game" to be.

 

If you want to drop out of contact on a permanent basis, then of course it's never too late to start being that way. You may have to be prepared to let the things of yours that she has go, if you want to retain a no contact status, you may never get them back.

 

If you wish to use no contact as a leverage to get her back, I suspect at this point it might fail. It looks like she's gotten a fair distance from you emotionally already.

 

It sounds like you've both been through difficulties in this. You've both had occasion to not want to be with the other. Possibly it's come to the point where you maybe both identify that what you once had won't be recaptured, but you're unable to fully let it go.

[routerx]

What you need to do is get her address then ship her things to her. You then need to forget about your things.

 

This has nothing to do with material possessions. It has EVERYTHING to do with not being able to move on. Take the possessions out of the equation. The value of them does not exceed the pain/anger/hassle that you are going through.

 

Ship or deliver her stuff. Forget about your stuff. Move on.

[kimg]

Forget about getting your things. If she wanted her stuff she would have gotten it. Get rid of it. Dont contact her anymore and just move on. I am unsure if you want her back now or what. She may be just as done with you as you are her. You dont have time to figure that out. You need to heal from this. NO CONTACT!

[lunatic]

I agree that it is time to move on. You might want to consider your things as missing in action to never be seen again. Buck it up and move on because that is what a bigger person would do. Forget this woman and let go. It is time to get yourself back to the most important thing in your life again and that is YOU.

 

Good luck,

Hubman