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Why am I attrached to younger men?


YoungSpirit
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I am a 35 young hearted female and continue to find myself involved in relationships with guys in there early 20's. My involvement with the younger generation is not based primarily on sex. My partner and I have a fun, healthy, active, normal relationship like any other. My previous relationships with men my age always disolve because I am never happy. Because I have a young spirit, mind and soul, it was a challenge for men my age to keep up with me emotionally, physically and mentally. I finally found happiness and feel completion with my guy of age 21 whom I have been with for a year.

Some speculate that woman involved with younger men want to mold or control there young partner or are afraid of growing old. Not in my case. I love my age and wouldnt change it for the world. Yes there are times when the age difference comes into play and the maturity level is not an equal match, but it is worth it because the happiness I have overules it.

I do not prevent my partner from making his own decisions and mistakes as it is a very important learning process for him, that alone aids in the growth to his maturity level.

I know I have probably answered my own question, but any help or feedback would be greatly appreciated

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You see with guys they love the idea of an older woman, more experienced, which is ok, but there nothing wrong with feelings for a younger guy, hey they look better. Especially these days they so look after them selves. So it's understandable.

 

But also I would not get to involved cos age eventually can get In the way. For example like you said the maturity. You have been there and done that. And he has not, so this to him is experience. (I may be wrong) Fun is fun but at times you need someone in your life who is on the same level as you, and same goes for him.

 

So keep to the fun but don't get to attached im just talking form my experience.

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I'm a 34 year old male and the only reason I don't date women in their early 20's is because I feel it is selfish. They are still developing, and I would be robbing them of a healthy relationsip with someone their own age.

Dating a 21 year old provides you security from any long-term commitment and from the thought of growing older. Sure, you have fun, but you are missing out on a life-partner and facing what life is all about... it's about solving problems together and growing. If that scares you or if you think it is overrated, then you need a man in his 30's more than ever, because he can take you from your infancy in relationships to a mature and healthy one.

If you don't do this for yourself, then do it for the 21 year old that you are leading down the wrong road.

In 5 years you probably won't be able to have children. Also, that 26 year old crowd won't be digging you too much either. Where do you want to be when you are 40? Make your decision now.

My sister is 45 and single. She was always considered a "hottie" who was livin the California lifesytle... she's alone now and the only dates she is getting is from retirees.

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I would say that if you're happy, why worry about it? Evidently something is not right or you wouldn't be asking... could it be that you are challenged for some intelligent, "been there" kind of conversation?

I was married to a guy 4 years younger than me and I couldn't stand it -- we were together for several years but the whole time I had to make all the decisions, he didn't know how to manage money, he didn't want to further his career and had no drive, and no desire to be the breadwinner, and it was like having another kid.... terrible! Anyway, I told him finally I wanted a divorce, which he did not want, but he soon realized that it was for the best, and he moved back in with his parents!!!! (I think he's still there!).... Anyway the point is, like a previous poster said, if they're not on the same level as you, it's back-breaking to keep bending down to those lower levels, if you know what I mean.... (not to say there's anything wrong with younger people, but if you've been there and done that, it gets old playing "teacher" and "mom" all the time....

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YoungSpirit, you said in the original posting that there were three reasons men your aged couldn't keep up with you, emotionally, physically and mentally.

 

Emotionally, I'm a bit surprised at that. I would have thought the younger ones wouldn't have been on the same emotional page. Maybe the one's you went out with your age were in fact like you, maybe looking to recapture youth. I guess it comes down to, what are you looking for emotionally? Long term commitment? I would have thought a good proportion of men your age would be seeking the same thing.

 

Physically, yes, younger men seem to, and likely do have more energy. However, as a 40 year old male, playing some sports, I've noticed that younger men are a lot more energetic for the first 45 minutes or an hour, then seem to stop trying slightly. That's when the 'old guys' sometimes take over, at least the ones in shape that is. All I'm saying here is that men your age may not appear to have the same energy levels at first, but they might last in the long run. Give the men your age another try sometime an dsee if that's possibly true. A lot of this depends on physical conditioning of course, and the tendency is to let ourselves fall more and more out of shape as we age.

 

Mentally, I would have thought this more a function of intellect rather than age. Smart and witty doesn't diminish a lot with age I thought.

 

Anyway, as eluded to by some of the other posters, perhaps you're trying to hand on to your youth. Nothing wrong with that as long as it makes you, and them, happy. But there's nothing wrong with growing old either. Just do it gracefully please!

 

I liked routerx's comment about not dating younger women because it's selfish. Gee, and all along I thought it was because they dind't want to go out with an old guy like me! Don't take offence, you're obviously different from me routerx, it's never been a possibility in my life.

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I think it comes from trusting yourself how old you feel, how grown up you act. Young men have an outstanding appetite for life that is equaled by women in our age group, but older men can make for a good relationship too as they see you as a spark of life, just as you see the younger men. Older men are normally more financially secure too. It all depends upon what you need to make you feel complete.

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