Sexual inexperience & dating

[anon_a_mouse]

Just wondering when you're in a relationship with someone - how to go about explaining sexual inexperience in relation to theirs? (I mean Being 26 and only having had sex twice)....or does it really not matter that much?

[matts0344]

I always kind of wondered this too because I'm 21 and I never had sex or even a girlfriend.

 

I figured if we were ever beginnning to have sex I would just mention that I've never done this before or something. I wouldn't bring it up on the first date or anything. Not until you are really close anyway. Unless you can think of a real subtle way of saying it.

[Beec]

When I lost my virginity, she never knew, nor has any other women ever heard about it since then. With all of the women I have dated, I know very little about how many men they have been with, and none of them know how many I have been with. If you feel comfortable with her discussing this stuff, then do. if not, then don't. anon a mouse, you know how things work, you probably have no need to ask for instructions and really do not need to tell her. matts0304, I think you also know how it works. If not, there is plenty of ways to find out.

 

if you mention anything, it will be if you feel ok doing it.

[orchidrose]

I was a virgin when I met my ex (I had just turned 20 at the time). The night we officially started dating -- which also happened to be my birthday, so I knew sex was a possibility -- I told him I was a virgin. He was totally cool with it, didn't push me. We didn't have sex for another month after that.

[anon_a_mouse]

When I lost my virginity, she never knew, nor has any other women ever heard about it since then. With all of the women I have dated, I know very little about how many men they have been with, and none of them know how many I have been with. If you feel comfortable with her discussing this stuff, then do. if not, then don't. anon a mouse, you know how things work, you probably have no need to ask for instructions and really do not need to tell her. matts0304, I think you also know how it works. If not, there is plenty of ways to find out.

 

if you mention anything, it will be if you feel ok doing it.

 

Good point. I think you are saying - if you have the confidence - you will say what feels right - and that will be ok.

 

Suppose I'm wondering if others would feel they would want to share their sexual history first, if it was a potential serious /or serious relationship?

[tmp0620]

If I met someone at a random place and somehow got a date with them, I'd wait a while to tell them that I'm a virgin.

 

If I'd been hanging out with someone and getting to know them (without dating) and attraction seemed like a possibility, I'd find a way to lightheartedly let them know that I'm pretty inexperienced.

 

That's just me.

[Gath]

Just wondering when you're in a relationship with someone - how to go about explaining sexual inexperience in relation to theirs? (I mean Being 26 and only having had sex twice)....or does it really not matter that much?

 

just tell them its been a while and you're out of practice (which is still true, even if you've never been *in* practice. . . ). if its not a one off fling it shouldn't matter much.

[anon_a_mouse]

just tell them its been a while and you're out of practice (which is still true, even if you've never been *in* practice. . . ). if its not a one off fling it shouldn't matter much.

 

Good idea.-thanks

[sarahw]

My boyfriend knew i was a virgin when we first had sex. I found that i felt much more relaxed that way because he wasn't expecting me to be overly confident and was more careful etc.

 

If that's the way you feel then talk about it.

If you don't feel that it's a problem then there's no need to mention it.

[Day_Walker]

Unless you just have natural talent then your inexperience will be known right off the bat. You can hedge your bet by telling her prior to having sex. The easiest way is to discuss the topic when it comes up, or just lead the conversation down that path.