i cant take it anymore

[rocky888]

my mom died form a rare form of stomach cancer about a month ago. She was the only thing I had in my life. since she died i have nothing. I have 2 brothers who i dont talk to and a dad who i hate. My parents marriage was awful to begin with there would be a fight everyday he would throw things and jsut scream. When she was dying all he did was argue with her and now thats shes dead all he does is talk crap about her in front of me. None of my friends understand at all they can;t relate to me and they don't no how to act. My other family i don't feel connected with at all. My life is jsut like this huge black hole that i cant get out of im doing horrible in school, i odnt want to talk to friends, or go out. Im sick of hearing it will get better i duno maybe it will but all i no is for right now life is soo s***** i dont think i can last much longer. help me

 

katy

[Princess777]

Hello,

 

You poor thing...*HUGS*

I am so sorry to hear this. I sense your frustration is driving you crazy.. and your family is no help. In your case, it doesn't sound like you have anyone to turn to, but if you can find a counselor or a teacher or anybody that you trust and that you feel comfortable talking to, TALK TO THEM. If you cannot find anybody easily accessible, look for support groups in your area in the yellow pages. They are everywhere. Write your feelings in a diary and reflect on them later and you can actually see your progress as you pull yourself out of this. It sounds like you've hit rock bottom and you have no where else to go but UP. I would also recommend finding a church or a religion that you feel comfortable with and work on your spirituality. Spirituality is very underrated and needs to be a part of your life, no matter if you are Catholic, Jewish, Metaphysical, Buddist, or whatever. The fact that there is a higher power in your mind is something that WILL help you when everyone else is gone, and with that knowledge you will be able to make it through anything. Don't even think about giving up, we all have our battles and this is one that you will win.... and believe me things can ALWAYS be worse. Think about all the ways your life could be worse, and you'll realize how lucky you are to be alive. If you need support this website is wonderful for that any time.

Good luck...

Princess777

[avman]

I understand. When my father died my whole world collapsed. He was my hero and the one I would go to for advice and help. I felt completely numb for months and really didn't care much about anything.

 

Yes it does get better - but not for awhile. Your friends may not understand, but they are trying to help in the only way they know how. Most of them probably have never faced anything like this and it scares them.

 

Is there a counselor you can talk to at school? One you trust? They may be able to recommend someone else if you'd rather not see a school counselor. Its totally fine to want to talk to someone. Obviously your family isn't someplace you can turn, but there are others who will listen. This board has some wonderful people on it that can help also.

 

It took me a year before I felt a lot better and didn't think of my dad every day. Lots of lousy days with crying, anger, frustration, fear, etc. But I got through it with the help of my friends, a good counselor, and faith. And so can you.

 

PM me if you need to talk. Hang in there. Its going to be rough for awhile.

[Cardiac Kid]

Don't worry. When my dad moved out I felt like somebody had just cut a hole out of me and served it at a resturanut. I felt like I could just end this pain now and nobody would care. But I didn't. I had friends, teachers and coahes that helped me realize that life is something special and you only get one shot at it. You can make it through this. Remember don't let your dad put you down. Just remember that every cloud has a silver lining.

[d1whoutf]

Hey katy!

 

I'm sorry to hear that about your mum. I can understand what you are feeling. When the person you love the most dies, the whole world seems to be senseless and life seems useless. It is that strange sadness that fills you and makes you feel like giving up.

 

But wait! Life goes on

 

When I remember someone I really cared that has left, I prefer to think that he/she is in some better place; that he is very happy there and that he is waiting for me. Then, I think about all the good things we spent together and what that person would have wanted me to do in this sad situation or what that person would have wanted me to become. I'm sure your mother would have wanted you to become someone important; someone everyone admires and respects, someone she could be proud of.

 

You must always remember that giving up is not an option. Life has many beautiful things, experiences and emotions you still need to discover. Also, think of everything life has given you; you have a shelter to return to, you have the abbility of expresing your opinions and feelings, and probably the most important one to you: you have been born and have received the protection and love of your mother.

 

As other users posted before, I advice you to search for someone you trust in, and talk, and see that you are not alone. That many people want to help you, that many people love you and that others need you.

Here's a poem I read yesterday in this webpage

Even if the world looks bleak

And the friends are weak

And the people are users

And the helpers are posers

Just remember: You're loved.

 

Even if they ignore you

And the tears roll down you

And the pain it hurts you

And your life just scares you

Please remember: You're loved

 

Even if you don't believe it,

Even if you can't see it,

Even if they all hate you,

Even if they all use you,

You're loved.

 

It doesn't matter who,

It doesn't matter why,

Just know it's true,

Doesn't need to be proved,

Remember: You're loved.

 

 

I'm glad you have read my long post. I hope you find your way to the darkness.

Keep writing!

d1whoutf

[d1whoutf]

*It's "through the darkness" not to the darkness