How can i make it if he's doing this??? HELP!

[audrey]

It's has been just 3 weeks ago that i finished the relationship b'cause he did things wrong that really hurt me. he said no cheating but it shown a lack of respect and consederation to me.

 

well, just some days after i ended the relationship(it was long distance btw) he called me but i wasnt here, i was in another city. he sent e-mails telling he tried to called and will call again when im back. so he called me and we talked for almost 3 hours, talking about how we are doing, my trip and stuff.

 

it felt weird for me cause there moments we talked as when we were bf/gf. that confused a little. So i asked him what are his intentions calling me. he said he cared for me and wants to know about me. He also asked me to call him using his credit, but i didnt accept it. he couldnt get it why i don't want to call him. So he said he will call me then.

 

he didn't call for 2 days and then he tried but i wasn't at home. he sent me an sms telling me that if i want i can call him otherwise he'll call next day. Actually he called but it was occupied he said (anyways oneone was at home)

 

he didnt insist for 2 days but after getting some sms i felt maybe i was being cold to him , so i sent him an sms asking how he's doing and hope he's good, only that and then i got one saying he's some better from a flu and he was ging to bed but if i like he could call me next day. I replied he can call if he wants.

 

So he called yesterday, he wanted me to see a couple of funny videos on youtube and also asked me to him some photos of my trip. At the end he said he'll call tomorrow, but i wasn't sure about it so i said maybe isnt' the best to talk and i don't wanna get confused.

I told him maybe i can't do this cause is too fresh and asked him once again what he wants to get calling me. For me it's not easy to play his friend when i still have those feelings inside. So i told him Btter don't call me again" he stayed quiet for some seconds and then said that's ok if thaT'S what i want and then said: "i can't call you to know how are you doing? i also care for you and im interested in you, if i weren't i wouldnt like to see your picts"

 

i don't want to get hurt even more than im already. i wanna ask him for some time, i think we both need it. im scared maybe he wants to work my feelings or even get his revange cause i broke with him. i don't want false hope either.

 

Please i need your opions, just would like him to anwser my question, what does he want to get calling me, just using me as a sleeping pill?

 

thanks

[nuttybuddy]

well, it sounds to me like he can't let u go cuz he still likes you, but he's afraid to ask u to be in the relationship again cuz he's afraid that you'll say no.

 

here's what u need to do. u have to tell him once and for all that you are not ready to be friends with him. tell him he can call u if he wants a relationship with you, but not if he just wants to be friends.

 

then he'll know he has to decide whether he still wants to be back with you or whether he wants to be friends. of course, this is assuming that u want to be back with him.

[HappyAsALark]

It sounds like he still cares for you. It is kind of endearing. Well this part of the story is anyways. I don't know what he did wrong, but it seems like maybe he is trying to fix it in some way.

[audrey]

well, it sounds to me like he can't let u go cuz he still likes you, but he's afraid to ask u to be in the relationship again cuz he's afraid that you'll say no.

 

here's what u need to do. u have to tell him once and for all that you are not ready to be friends with him. tell him he can call u if he wants a relationship with you, but not if he just wants to be friends.

 

then he'll know he has to decide whether he still wants to be back with you or whether he wants to be friends. of course, this is assuming that u want to be back with him.

 

Thanks for your quick anwsers

 

that's the best i could do Nuttybuddy, but how can i tell him he can call me only if he wants a relationship with me again, maybe that's not what he wants , i don't know if that's what I want either i still love him but im really afraid of getting hurt again. So i'll tell him we both need time to get things clear. Im getting so much numb for this

[audrey]

well, here some new events...

 

i haven't talk with him yet, i wasn't so sure about telling him once for all that i can't be his friend now so yesterday i sent him a sms telling that i'll would busy so better he call me next day.

 

today i got an e-mail from him saying he did wanted to talk but he wasn't feeling good and better he will do it when he's back from work and ask if it's ok he call today. It was weird cause i sent him a sms well maybe he didn't get it.

 

I didn't reply.

 

He didn't call today but sent me an e-mail again and it says this:

 

I send you an email yesterday, I was hoping some sort of reply.

 

I just came back from work, and I am very tired, you told me when I call you, it will be the last time we will talk.

 

I feel that today is not the right day for that, i would prefer to talk when here is some earlier and not at night when I am sleepy.

 

so today its not that day.

 

I am sorry for that, but i think you understand

 

peace xxx

I think he's kind resigned and thinks next time we talk will be the last one, i said COULD BE. Anyways i didn't mean that exactly. This so hard really.

i sent him a reply telling him to not be sorry, he doesn't have to call if he doesn't want.

 

Am i doing good?

 

PLEASE HELP!!!

[nuttybuddy]

I think there's a lot of miscommunication going on because it sounds to me like you both still like each other, but for whatever reason, you seem to want a break up. Yet, you don't want a break up. WHAT do you want? I think you really should sit down and figure this out.... and if time is what you need, don't say stuff like, "this could be the last time i will talk to you." cuz that's just sad. he obviously still loves you, and doesn't want to have a LAST talk. I think you guys should talk in person. NOT email, NOT sms, NOT phone.... TALK IN PERSON. Relationship break up is a serious issue. You should not hide your face when you talk about it.

 

Besides, you haven't really told us WHY you want to break up with him, so I really can't say whether you should stay away or stay together.

 

But from what I could gather so far, it just seems like you still like him a lot and he still likes you a lot.

 

If you're not sure about getting back together with him, then TALK TO HIM IN PERSON and tell him that you would like some time alone... and tell him you will get back to him with a decision at a specific date. That should at least make him wait for you, without feeling like you actually broke up with him.

 

And when you finally know what you want.... as soon as you know, just let him know.... ALSO in person. Like I said, relationship talk is serious stuff. You should do it in person. It's the least you can do... after all those times you guys spent together.

[audrey]

Hi Nuttybuddy, well there were 2 reasons why i broke up the relationship:

 

1. I found out his Myspace with 34 girls all of them sl*ts, and he sent to some of them hot comments very inmoral in my point of view, he told me he chatted with one of them in msn but just innocent conversations, i don't believe that of course, not after those comments he sent her.

 

2. Just 1 hour after he reaffirmed his serious intentions about me after i got so mad at him cause of the page, he was able to call a girl he met in his last flight coming here to see me. I managed to know what happened there. It was a girl he met in the plane and they exchange numbers, he called her once after almost 2 months he saw her in the plane(it was april then) and then called her once again in august. So he shown a lot of interest for her. when he explained eveything was too late, he said it was just him wanted to know how she was doing and the second time was just an impulse damn! the truth all that hurt me deep.

 

It's impossible to talk face to face Nuttybuddy, we'are very far, he's in Holland and im in Peru.

 

Thnaks for your help buddy, you're very nice

[nuttybuddy]

oh, LDR's are hard. and i'm only 10 hrs away from my bf. but we used to be together at least for a year. if u guys r in different countries, i don't think it's a good idea. especially if u guys began the relationship just thru the internet. and i support u in breaking up with him. if he's not faithful to u, it's really a bad relationship.

[audrey]

Wow! It sounds very bad then. I think about it too, but after almost 3 years of LDR it's hard. He coming here for 3 times and he also took me to his country to meet his family. Really he did everything and that's why it's so hard to believe it's over.

 

Everytime im getting more confused

 

thanks Nuttybuddy

 

 

oh, LDR's are hard. and i'm only 10 hrs away from my bf. but we used to be together at least for a year. if u guys r in different countries, i don't think it's a good idea. especially if u guys began the relationship just thru the internet. and i support u in breaking up with him. if he's not faithful to u, it's really a bad relationship.