guys, do u know when a girl is faking it?

[Never_the_same]

hi people, this is gonna be different from where i usually post. im just curious if guys know it when a girl is faking it. coz i sometimes do it coz i can see that my partner is already tired. i dont want him to feel bad that he didnt get me off, so i just pretend that im having my orgasm. can you guys tell? and will u be upset if you find out we're faking it?

[Scare]

Yeah i can usually tell. It's pretty easy.. i mean no offense. But it's pretty easy. But that just may be me.

[Never_the_same]

Yeah i can usually tell. It's pretty easy.. i mean no offense. But it's pretty easy. But that just may be me.

 

how can u tell?

[kaoticbaby]

i thhink it depends how much experience the guy has, and also how much they are actually paying attention. i faked it one time, and my boyfriend had no idea. I can't imagine them being too happy about knowing the truth though...

[Day_Walker]

If a guy knows what to look for then he can tell but the actual question is does he care?

[GottaLetItBurn]

I don't know if I could tell. I assume anyone who has sex with the same girl all the time and understands her body would be able to tell quiet easily. If the girl is having no contractions and over acting then yes it's obvious. Personally I wouldn't expect a girl to have an orgasm unless I was trying, so if he was tired and not trying and you faked an orgasm then that's really obvious.

[darkblue]

It's unusual for a woman to achieve orgasm every single time she has sex.

Many studies have found varying results, but they all show that clitoral stimulation is greatly helpful.

 

This is something that should be discussed with a parther. Particularly an inexperienced partner whose first instinct is to jump on and get going.

 

Foreplay, again is very helpful.

 

How do you know when your partner is faking it?

You could ask... Not advisable to ask during sex, however.

 

Or you could bring it up in a more subtle way.

"Do you think more foreplay would help you achieve more orgasms?" Or similar.

[WWBG]

I'm sure almost every girl has faked at one time or another for various reasons. Some claim that it is to spare the guy's feelings because he was trying really hard. Blah blah blah.

 

The thing you have to be careful of is when you find yourself doing it all the time with someone you will be with for a while.

 

I've been with my gf for a while and I always get her off first through fingering or oral before I get "my turn". My understanding is that she has no REASON to fake because I've told her she can tell me if she wants something specific, and that I'll do it to make sure she enjoys it too. I told her long ago to tell me the truth so that we could work on it together. I believe she has done so.

 

Quite frankly, if I found out now that she had been faking all this time, she'd be out on the street immediately. I would consider that a major betrayal.

[Never_the_same]

im not doing it all the time, its just that sometimes i know that he's trying really hard to get me off. he usually goes down on me and gives me an oral. thats when i have my orgasm 100% of the time. so when we 'do it' already, i would go on top coz i get off more easily in that position. then he would tell me that he wants to be on top. most of the time i finish it but sometimes i dont.

[Hackuuna Matata]

I'm with WWBG on this. I told my GF that I don't want her to fake it and I want complete honesty from her. Even if she says, "no I didn't come" or "I just don't think it's happening this time" I'll be extremely pleased because she was open about it. To me the communication is crucial to making each other happy, so why mislead? Is making your partner happy by lying about an orgasm worth ruining the relationship later if they find out?

 

And like WWBG, if I found out my GF faked at one time I would very seriously consider ending it right there. The question is, can I tell if she did? Well, if you are someone I really care about then I will most likely be paying a lot of attention to details, in addition to being knowledgeable about what exactly goes on in female orgasms (like the contractions mentioned).

 

It helps that I made a similarly important promise to my GF to ease her doubts: she wanted me to promise that if she ever says or does something that hurts my male ego (like saying "no I didn't come") I will tell her instead of hiding it. I'm guessing if I lied to her about hurting my ego she would similarly want to leave me since it's obvious the trust and communication isn't there.

[Cardinal]

From my experience these last few months, I am pretty good at picking out when a woman is faking it based on psychological motives but not based on physical signs. It is easy for me to see when she is getting tired or if she thinks I am trying to get her off....the timing of her orgasm is a little too good, or she is just a bad actress. Physically though, when I am having intercourse I often cannot feel the contractions my current SO is having. I can usually tell when she comes down from a long orgasm b/c she breaths a long contented sigh of relief and her mood changes for the better for a loooong time. It is tough for me to tell though whether she is just super excited at any given point or if she is in a stage of actual orgasm.

 

So what I have started doing is just encouraging her to tell me when she is at that point. Doing so is a turn on for me and it allows me to change what I do to fully enhance and extend her orgasm. Even more importantly, it avoids the situation where I stop right as she is about to get there.

 

Right now I have a partner where faking doesn't seem to be an issue. She orgasms quite easily and often (her whole body is highly aroused usually and very responsive to any form of touch. Plus her libido is veritably through the roof). With oral I think it is usually easier for a man to tell if she has had a major earth shattering orgasm. I don't even bother trying to tell whether she has had a mini orgasm or not. It is the obvious draining ones that I can pick out.

 

I wrote a pretty long thread about a g/f I thought was faking recently. I am still about 95% confident she was faking. It is my current partner who is so in tuned with her body that makes that conclusion much more certain. So with experience with the right girl or girls, I think it seems to get easier and easier to tell whether a typical girl is having THAT good of a time. Just take an objective look at the whole experience and you can tell whether she is super happy or not. If she is that happy I don't guess it really matters how many orgasms she has or if she comes on a given night. If she isn't happy, she won't come anyways.

[Never_the_same]

this is really a realization for me specially coming from a male's point of view. i do believe that what i was actually doing isnt healthy for the relationship. its just that the male ego is so complicated that i really couldn't grasp it. im not sure what will hurt or will not hurt it. i really wouldnt like my man's ego be shattered. but i agree with your point that i should be honest with him. and i think if i tell my man the truth, he'll find some ways of making sure that i go have my orgasms.

 

this is such an eye opener for me. so next time, i definitely wouldnt do it again.

[WWBG]

Its pretty simple actually. Of course the guy wants to believe he is hot stuff. If you are with a one night stand, there probably isn't any harm in faking it. If you are with a partner you respect (key word there), then honesty early on is better. Indeed it doesn't have to be blunt like: "you aren't doing it for me". Instead, cloak it in a nice: "I want to try something new this time". He'll be happy to oblige.

 

At one point, I used to just assume that she was always lying because it served her purposes. Perhaps that was a safer assumption.

[Hackuuna Matata]

Yes, it really depends on what you want to get out of a specific relationship. If your goals are long term then it definitely won't help if you fake it, but if it's a one night stand or short term "fun" relationship then it really doesn't matter.

 

I think the tendency for a girl to want to fake it to please the guy is a perfectly natural instinct, as evidenced by the fact that many girls do it. I'm sure there are plenty of guys out there too who will blame you for not having an orgasm or leave you if they found out you weren't, so that may be why girls have this fear. But it's also a strong indication of respect and trust if you believe in your partner enough to not mislead them.

 

And believe me, for those of us guys who are looking for long term relationships only, we really appreciate that kind of respect and will always do our best to try new things and listen to our partners wants/needs in bed. I guess the question is, do you trust your BF enough to not leave you if you were honest and, if not, do you believe that without that trust you have a good foundation for a long term relationship?

 

I think the answers to those questions will tell you if you should feel OK faking or not.