Am i being Childish?

[buffalosoldier]

Ok i dont want to start playing childish games,but in a way i want to reflect to my partner the way that he makes me feel.

 

He barely even stays in contact with me when we're not together,only msg's me if i msg him first,never rings 'just because' or only ever rings me when i have previously asked him to. I mean people always go on about how mens minds work differently and all that stuff,but how hard is it to show a bit of enthusiasum here and there.i know he cares for me i just think he's becoming too comfortable. yeh thats good in a way,but come on.he seems to think im going to be there no matter what so thereforeeee he doesnt make an effort!! (or at least thats the conclusion ive come to!)so he makes more of an effort with everybody else and just expects me to be there at the end of it like a love sick puppy.well ive had enough now,im more angry than upset at the moment.ive had enough ive people taking advantage of my kindness and walking all over me like a carpet. maybe if i started treating people like shit then i would get more respect???!!! wot do you think??

 

im just at the point now where im virtually tearing my hair out. im thinking of just cutting back on the nice things,letting him do some running for a change,not answering his attempts at contact,make him stew for a while.any ideas?? yes,yes,and i am actually with this guy believe it or not,just to stop any confusion.its disturbing for me that i actually WANT to start playing games,i feel im really messing myself up over him.that frightens me,ive never felt so out of control of my own life.

 

help me please,i dont know if ive been clear even about what i want from writing this,but if anyone understands my cry for help please reply.

[Mickey Pie]

 

 

I had a friend just like that. I brought it upon myself, I guess, because I was always acting like I would always be there no matter what, and it must've put it in her head that I'd always be there.

 

I've pretty much broken off contact with her. I don't talk to her anymore unless she says somthing first...which is basically never. I don't act bitter or anything...we're still friendly to each other, but I don't care enough anymore to be super nice to someone who doesn't care in the least. Don't treat people like shit, but don't treat them like God's grace to Earth unless they reciprocate the actions. It taught me a good lesson and I really don't care if we stay friends or not.

 

My advice is to let him know how you feel. You'll make him aware that you're not one to be placed 2nd (or 3rd, etc...) in a relationship and if he doesn't change, he's a jerk. He probably doesn't notice you have a problem because it hasn't been brought to his attention.

[DREAM]

You know what i did not even had to read the whole post to understand where your coming from. Iv been in the same boat once before to. The problem is when two people have been together for so long they get to used to each other, and stop making efforts.

 

Now the way I handled things was different cos im the kind of person who will not take being treated like that and I left him, and after a while he came running back realizing what he had lost.

 

Im not saying leave him.. But scare him a little show him that you really are something. Back off a little, do what he is doing and see how he likes his own medication.

[Shyguy24]

Hi!!

 

okay let me see if I can help you ;

 

Okay first of all what I have learnt is that all of us are different and unique in our own way , some more sensitive some less its just the way we are , everyone tackles problems and emotions in a unique way.

 

The fact that he dosent call you all the time or msg you , maybe he isn’t that kind of person who has to be reassured about his feelings all the time or maybe like you said that he is really secure about you remember there is a difference between security and being taken for granted .. which I feel you are not why ..because he does call you when you want him to and also msg you …

 

The thing is that he isn’t playing games but I feel he respects and trusts you so he dosent feel insecure about you ; you shouldn’t do things like not contact him or avoid him and stuff because that’s not good and it will only ruin your relationship , because you got a little insecure …don’t do it

 

Again I would say all of us are different and have different degrees of needs and affection …for eg me I need affection say 80% of the time from my partner and reassurance to not all the time but quite a lot .. while I have a friend of mine who hardly talks to his gf but is madly in love with her ..so go figure !

 

One thing ..whats your star sign and what is his star sign I know a bit about astrology maybe I could give more insight into his behaviour

 

Cheers mate