Mickey Pie

He probably won't think anything bad. I know I wouldn't if a girl I didn't know started talking to me...I'd just return the conversation. Remember: if he's mean enough to ignore you or act really irritated, he's not worth pining over anyways. If I was interested in a girl and tried to talk to her and she acted rude, I'd stop worrying about it immediately and move on. You need to focus on the nice, polite people. Hopefully for you, he is one of those kinds of people.

You shouldn't let him get away with this. You're basically saying it was okay for him to do that by not taking action. Your friend shouldn't have to exclude herself from activities just because there's some creep that's going to be there. Take action and get the guy the discipline he deserves.

This is rather long, but you can just kinda skim over it and get the gist. Any input is greatly appreciated. It's quite a ramble, so I underlined the questions I'd like answers to. A few of you may be familiar with a situation I've been involved in concerning a girl at college. We ride the same city bus to and from college most afternoons and a few mornings. About a month ago, we introduced ourselves to each other, but the conversations after that consisted of no more than a "Hi, how are you?" She seems rather shy, but it could be that she is uninterested. I see her looking at me sometimes, but maybe that's only because I was looking at her. I know that if someone keeps looking at me, I tend to occasionally look in their direction to see if they are still, because it bothers me to have people staring at me all the time. I digress. After we first met, she was always standing by herself at the bus stop, and I could've easily walked up to her, but I'm unbelievably shy and I didn't want to be a bother to her. It seemed like she was pretty interested in me, but we don't (and didn't) say a whole lot so I kinda kept my distance. She's never approached me (could be shyness) and every time I've said hi, she kinda talked sadly, but we kind maintained a decent amount of eye contact. Is she shy? Is she uninterested? But now, she's always got a friend around her except for the mornings and one afternoon, so I don't really have a good chance to walk up to her anymore. So as to not bore you all, I'll get to the point: should I keep trying to get to know her? It's been over a month since we met and we still know basically nothing about each other just because I'm super shy and won't go by her unless she's wide open (she usually reads in the mornings, so I don't sit by her and disrupt her studies). It feels a tad weird to me now to talk to her just because it's been weeks since we met and we never really talked a lot and got to know some minor details about each other, so I'm wondering if it would feel weird to her, also. Is there any hope? Is it possible that she thinks I'm not interested in her just because I was trying hard not to distract her? Thanks, in advance, for any input.

That's a lot, but you should focus on other muscle groups, as well. You're more likely going to tone your arms rather than make them huge. You'll definitely notice improvement in both strength and definition, but unless you increase the load, you won't really be doing anything after a while as 200 will be as easy as doing 5. My advice is to get a weight set (you could probably get one for about $100) and work out your whole upper body. Here's some tips: You'll get more mass if you lift higher amounts of weight fewer times, and you'll get more tone if you lift lesser amounts of weight fewer times. Don't over do it (only lift every other day...MWF are good workout days), and you should be able to do all your lifting in perfect form. Don't use momentum to lift the weight, and don't use gravity to lower it...you're doing nothing this way. Lastly...stick with it. You won't become Hulk Hogan overnight. It can take months before you really start to notice, but the only way to get stronger is to lift, so don't get discouraged and stop because if you give up, you're not helping anything, either. Personally, I do three sets of eight reps of each exercise on Sundays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays (I can't do MWF because of classes) and in the last few months, I've noticed much improvement.

I hate to say it after they've probably raised your hopes, but dreams are more or less a random collection of thoughts/etc... that your subconscious mind puts together while your conscious mind rests. Yeah, sometimes dreams will become a reality, but they aren't a reliable source of prophecy, or anything like that. Not to say you and her won't hook up (good luck, by the way), but I wouldn't base the possibility of it on a dream you had.

I had a friend just like that. I brought it upon myself, I guess, because I was always acting like I would always be there no matter what, and it must've put it in her head that I'd always be there. I've pretty much broken off contact with her. I don't talk to her anymore unless she says somthing first...which is basically never. I don't act bitter or anything...we're still friendly to each other, but I don't care enough anymore to be super nice to someone who doesn't care in the least. Don't treat people like shit, but don't treat them like God's grace to Earth unless they reciprocate the actions. It taught me a good lesson and I really don't care if we stay friends or not. My advice is to let him know how you feel. You'll make him aware that you're not one to be placed 2nd (or 3rd, etc...) in a relationship and if he doesn't change, he's a jerk. He probably doesn't notice you have a problem because it hasn't been brought to his attention.

Last year, one of my best friends broke up with his girlfriend of 1 1/2 years when he started college because it's so different (she was still a junior in high school when he started), but they got back together after a few months and they're still together now almost a year later, so don't give up.

I'm in a similar situation. I'll see the girl looking in my general direction, sometimes at me, but maybe that's just because I happened to be looking at her. Just walk up and ask how her day is going...something like that. You should ask her what her plans for the weekend are (but not in a tone that suggests you're trying to hook up with her) and if she says she has none, ask if she wants to meet you for lunch, or something like that. Don't ask if she has plans, because she can lie and say, "Yes" and then you have no chance. Only ask what her plans are...she either has to quickly make something up (if she isn't intersted) or say, "None" if she actually doesn't have plans. Then if you ask her out and she says, "No," at least you tried. Stand tall and move on...don't sulk away or look depressed. Be confident. If you do end up getting together, make it a just friends thing for now...save the movies and stuff for later when you've opened up a bit more. Getting lunch is a great way to get to know someone; you can talk the whole time you're waiting for the order, you can ask all sorts of questions about her to let her know you're actually interested in her life, and hopefully, you'll both go home knowing quite a bit about each other. After that, it should be cake to talk to her.

I had a similar situation, but on a much, much smaller scale (not as long, emotionas weren't as much, etc...) and what I gathered from my experience is that there comes a time in the relationship at which a woman will only see a man as just a friend because she doesn't want to risk the friendship through a bad breakup. I'm not sure if that's always the case, but it was for me. I've moved on, but it was rather simple for me, since I only knew this person for about 2 months. You could stay friends with her...maybe eventually she will see that you are the best person for her that's out there after a few failed relationships. If I were you, I'd stay friends with her. If you are as close as you say you are, she probably trusts you, so she'll probably tell you everything that's bothering her, and you can be there for her. There's nothing wrong with being a security blanket.

I think he made a pretty accurate assessment. Apologizing is a good way to show you aren't too proud to admit you've done something wrong, but if you apologize for lame things, things you haven't done, or even worse, things she's done; she will own you, she will know she owns you, and you might end up getting hurt in the end. I read this topic just a few minutes ago, and it's probably some of the best advice on how to not be a sissy, but at the same time, not be an overbearing jerk, either. link removed

There have been times when I haven't talked to her, mostly out of nerves and not knowing if she cares. She didn't really do anything, I guess. I'll see her Thursday morning, so I'll see if she doesn't mind me sitting next to her and take it from there.

I recently started college and there's this girl on the bus whom I see almost every day. I started to feel attracted without having ever met her. I've turned to look at her, and many times I've have seen her looking back at me. The first time, her eyes darted away really quick, which, based on some of my previous actions with other people, is okay. I guess it means she's a little shy. I've recently started to say things to her, but nothing really about her or myself, just things like, "Hey (her name), how was class?" and some mundane observations. The talks are short, though, and then we just kinda sit silently in close proximity for the 20 minute bus ride. At first, she seemed quite happy talking with me, but the last few days, she seemed a little uninterested, although we did maintain good eye contact. You think she might just be a little bit nervous or shy? She does seem a little fidgety, and she smiles and stuff like that, but maybe she's only feigning interest to not come off as rude. Any tips? Should I keep talking to her? I don't want to be one of those annoying chowderheads who doesn't know when to keep his big yap shut, but I'd like to know if she's interested without walking straight up to her and asking, "Hey, are you intersted in me?" I've yet to just walk up to her and say anything, anyways...usually I wait for her to get on the bus first so I can sit near (but not right next to) her, and then I'll say something. Yeah, I'm totally lacking confidence, but I have a lot more than I used to, so it's not as bad as it could be. I'd hate to just walk up to someone who has no interest in me and keep trying to make conversation.

I think saying it in that tone would be fairly rude. Something a little less hostile like, "Could you please stop staring at me, it's making me uncomfortable" will make you seem far less unfriendly.