Why can't I let go?

[IWOKEUP]

Can someone help?

 

I am still mourning the loss of my relationship but I have no idea why he decided to break it up other than I have to assume he is a commitment phobic. We were supposed to go away together and when I mentioned future plans for another trip....he backed off and just before our trip, told me he wasn't sure if I should go (after I booked the ticket) and then within 24 hours - phoned me back, invited me to go again but on the condition that we could not discuss the future and then abruptly ended it - all after 2 years and many discussions of a future together. We also went through a life/physical crises together so the bonding was even more intimate.

 

I am not sure how long the grieving process takes? I find myself crying everyday but I can function. My head and self-esteem tells me this is for the best but I did fall very much in love and my heart is devasted. Why can't I let go? I feel so alone...has anyone else gone through this? and I would welcome some dialogue on this because my friends have heard enough and I feel very alone with this.

[ravelanch]

Hi,

First of all i want you to know that you are not alone in this at all, im a guy and have gone through the exzact same thing, my girlfriend of 1 and a half years broke up with me because i wanted to move to fast not sexually, but emotionally. Not to tell you my whole life story just to let you know you are not alone. You sounded like you had a long relationship with this guy and when you fall in love its even harder to deal with things.

 

The thing about these things in life is, you dont really get over them you learn to live with them, and you say that you can still function and that is an extrodinarly wonderful thing and you should be very proud of yourself. What you need to do is find out what happened with him try to talk him for closure, if he doesnt want to talk about it then he isnt really worth it. It's very natural to cry everyday done it myself, but eventually you move on. Two Years is a long time and it will take a while to deal with it but things will get better i promise i know it doesnt seem like it but they will if you want them to.

 

Dont feel alone, because alot of people have gone through this and maybe you need to find some people other than your friends that you can talk to because what are friends for? i mean honestly.

[Turboz]

Hi

 

Sorry to hear that your man broke it off so un-expectedly. It can't have been nice.

 

I'm not brilliant with topics about break-ups so I'll only say a few lines. Let it all out. If you feel like crying then let it happen. Don't fight it otherwise the more you bottle it up the more it hurts and it will continue to eat at you for a long time. I can tell you that myself as I have experience - Not from romances, but from family issues which used to upset me. I just used to bottle up my feelings when all I wanted to do was cry. It made me feel like a man to start with because I could hide my feelings but al that happened was that I would find myself thinking about these issues when no-one was around me and I would feel miserable. About a year ago I was diagnosed with depression when the Dr was called to see me at 1:30am by my mother. Things became to much to handle and I just cracked. Never put yourself into this situation.

 

Always let it out. Your mind can only cope with so many things at the same time and the more things you let out the less pressure your mind is under.

 

You may feel like crap whilst crying about your ex, but you will feel better afterwards.

[IWOKEUP]

Thanks for the sage advice!

 

Please remind me again why I shouldn't write a letter of disgust? I need some reminders to stay strong.

[persephonesleeps]

Hey...there's nothing wrong with writing the letter...that might help you a great deal actually...just do NOT send the letter.