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how do you get to know a girl who has a bf


saku
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my life is filled with nothing but sadness. my feelings for love are no different. i like this girl who has a boyfriend. and before anyone gets on my case how i shouldn't like her because of that all i have to say is BACK OFF!! i'm not somekind of lightswitch so don't treat me like i am. if i sound bitter and somewhat angry it's because i am. aside from the fact that i like her, i hate my life. it's full of disappointment and lonliness. and don't assume i don't try to find happiness cause i do...it's just all in vain.

 

look, i just want to get to know her and vice versa. it sucks enough that she has someone, but i at least want to do that. i'm so socially pathetic though and talking is a pain for me. in the mean time, i write notes and poems cause it's the best way to express my feelings. that's all i guess...i'm just really sad and frustrated. i wish a miracle would happen in my life. i really do alot of things from me heart, and i wish it would come back around to me. not in money, not in fame...i want it in love[/code]

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yeah....i know it's hard to be in love with someone that has a bf/gf already. and it's not ur fault for feeling this way because feelings can't be controlled. and you can't always choose who u can love because it's your heart that tells you. at least you're not trying to break them up but you want to really know this girl. i gotta say it might be hard if her bf is a jealous one. i see you have no intention of harming anyone, but seems painful when all you can do is watch. just stick around (if you really love this gurl). try to be as supportive as you can without letting your heart get in the way of the friendship. usually getting to know someone isn't the quanity but the quality of the time. for example, find out wat she likes and try to do those things w/ her. (once in a while) hehe that's all i have to say later

 

christine

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Hi Saku !!

 

I must point out that your posts are great ! Each post you put on the site, you have the answer to the post already there !!

 

Again, you did it this time !! You can't be saying don't say that ! If that is the answer, then you simply have to accept it - you can't disregard the solution - how will you ever progress if you do that !!!

 

look, i just want to get to know her and vice versa

By this I assume you mean that you want to get to know her, and you want her to get to know you. If you just want to get to know her - you go about it the same way as you would try to talk to a guy in school who has a girlfriend. You strike a conversation - perhaps about something you have in common.

 

If your intentions are to get her to like you, then you should not be going down that road. If you choose to go there, you are risking hurting yourself and ruining your chances with many many other girls. People talk, and if you want to find yourself isolated, then go ahead - but I would advise you not to.

 

Life is life, and girls with boyfriends and not single - thus the term "single". You should be looking for a single girl to get with, not a girl in a relationship. Not only do you risk getting in a fight with her boyfriend who will surely not appreciate your advances, but the girl will probably not talk to you again.

 

Think before you do, and just because situations are not the way you want them doesn't mean you disregard and disrespect everyone else in sight just because you can't have your own way. That is selfish and people generally don't like that.

 

Hope this helps you some,

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I don't think anybody here is going to say you shouldn't like her. You are right, we like who we like and its not always the best situation or something we have control over.

 

Its totally fine to get to be friends with this girl. As long as you don't set your hopes at the point that you must have her. Just get to know her on a friendly level. Maybe once the two of you get talking she might find she is interested in you. Or you might find out you aren't interested in her. Let things happen naturally.

 

On another note, the person you really need to like is yourself. Without having that you will have a tough time getting someone else to like you too. If you hate yourself, you will work around giving off that vibe and other people pick up on it. If on the other hand you walk around feeling that you are a good person other people will sense that and want to know you. Good people have lousy things happen to them all the time. They get mad, sad, depressed, tired, etc. But they are still good people. The only person that can take that away from them is themselves.

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My guess is to just be yourself and try to get to know her better, like what everyone else said. In the "asking a girl out" section, the result of my post is that she already has a boyfiend, but he does not go to my school (and I though I had it all pinned down). The bad thing is that he goes to a school where all the Varsity Athletes are machines (in the top 25 in the country in many sports-a football Junior from there came to my school because he couldn't get any playing time there and he's pretty good. He's 6'1 amd weighs 195 lbs and he is pretty darn fast for a DE). Just try to be her friend and if worst comes to worst, become "Rocky Balboa."

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It's not easy when you feel for someone who already is in a relationship and I am not telling you that you should lay off but your better off by trying to be friends than anything more than that. I know, I was in the same situation as yourself and followed through with it. I did end being more than friends with the girl for quite awhile but in the end I just ended up hurting her and myself. I still regret it to this day. I posted my situation of being with a person who already has a boyfriend on this board and got blasted...but it was deserved. You can't choose who you fall for but you do have a choice to either pursue her or walk away. Just a piece of friendly advice. What you do is up to you.

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