NiceGuy76 Posted July 9, 2007 Share Posted July 9, 2007 By begging, pleading, all that stuff to the point where they vanish? Changed their number, had no way to contact them only for them to finally contact you after a while apart? If so, how long did it take? I am just curious to see if over time they came to their senses or something happened to them and they finally realized that the begging, pleading, all that other stuff was FOR REAL? I did not do it just to tell her what she wanted to hear, I did it because I finally realized my feelings too late... Anyone? Let me know if I need to provide any more information... Thanks! Link to comment
Weeblie Posted July 9, 2007 Share Posted July 9, 2007 Nope, but I did NC once and the guy disappeared forever. Good riddance. Anyway, what happened in your situation exactly? Link to comment
ElektraHere Posted July 9, 2007 Share Posted July 9, 2007 In my experience they never ever responded. If they did respond its because I tried after some time to "rectify" things and they in more polite terms told me to "buzz off." The begging, pleading, etc gets you to crazyville status faster than anything. You may not be that as I know I am not crazy but for those who were on the recieving end......el loco!!!! Sorry but I am thinking this person will not be back because of some enlightened moment that begging and pleading is showing your true love. It actually shows terrible disrespect for that person. Link to comment
StarLily Posted July 9, 2007 Share Posted July 9, 2007 Is this the girl you just met from link removed? Link to comment
Dako Posted July 9, 2007 Share Posted July 9, 2007 I begged and pleaded once when I was a young guy, and never did that again. It's humiliating and worst of all, it doesn't work. Sorry you're hurting. You can't make someone love you, and when they disappear, it's time to accept the facts. Link to comment
SexySadie7 Posted July 9, 2007 Share Posted July 9, 2007 Yeah.. i don't know.. you can make your feelings clear and to me that's good for you cuz it gets stuff off your chest. You cannot make someone like or love you though. If they don't, they don't. I'm finally coming to the realization that I'm not sure I want to keep jumping thru hoops for a guy who doesn't want to put that effort out for me also. Unrequited love sucks. But to me NC just drives ME crazy. I don't recommend it, unless there's been violence or some really heavy stuff involved. To me, it leaves too many unanswered questions. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted July 9, 2007 Share Posted July 9, 2007 By begging, pleading, all that stuff to the point where they vanish? Changed their number, had no way to contact them only for them to finally contact you after a while apart? If so, how long did it take? I am just curious to see if over time they came to their senses or something happened to them and they finally realized that the begging, pleading, all that other stuff was FOR REAL? I did not do it just to tell her what she wanted to hear, I did it because I finally realized my feelings too late... Anyone? Let me know if I need to provide any more information... Thanks! Hmm, if you begged and pleaded to the point they changed their phone number I'd say that is a sign it's not going to work out. Don't forget WHY you broke up. People always forget the reasons when they are feeling lonely. It may not have been meant to be. You may have realized it too late what you had, or maybe it was not right to begin with. Link to comment
NiceGuy76 Posted July 9, 2007 Author Share Posted July 9, 2007 Is this the girl you just met from link removed] HECK NO! This is my ex from January...have not really wrote much about it on here as far as details. StarLily...you are funny! I am not that freaky! I would never do that to someone I had just met! LOL Link to comment
NiceGuy76 Posted July 9, 2007 Author Share Posted July 9, 2007 Hi there, Of course, it depends on the individual but I think that more often than not, people respond in a very unemotional (? cruel?) manner when they sense desperation ... I.e. when they see begging & pleading, instead of being moved by these strong emotions, they tend to distance themselves. Hm. If I may ask, what is your situation with your ex? Are you trying to reconcile and trying to see what effect your post-break-up actions may have had? My situation is...since we parted ways...my begging and all that other pitiful stuff that I did chased her away to the point of vanishing out of my life. Yes, I wonder if she ever thinks back to those moments, especially the moment where I was face to face with her....spilling my guts and feelings out and tearing in the process. What I found out is she is a "relationship jumper", so I guess she probably has no remorse for breaking my heart or feeling anything positive about me. Am I better off without her? Probably so...do I love her more than anything...YES. After 6+ months...I do...and that sucks! Link to comment
TMinCali Posted July 9, 2007 Share Posted July 9, 2007 NiceGuy.. how long were you two together? I believe my ex was a relationship jumper also. That longest relationship he's ever had was 2 years. We were together for 10 months and as soon as things got "hard", he bailed. He cried when he was telling me that he didn't see any potential, which he DOESN'T do... it only leads me to believe that he's terrified of love and getting hurt. I believe this is why relationship jumpers are the way they are. When things get difficult, they move on to something that is easy where they won't get hurt or have to be vulnerable in love. Link to comment
NiceGuy76 Posted July 9, 2007 Author Share Posted July 9, 2007 NiceGuy.. how long were you two together? I believe my ex was a relationship jumper also. That longest relationship he's ever had was 2 years. We were together for 10 months and as soon as things got "hard", he bailed. He cried when he was telling me that he didn't see any potential, which he DOESN'T do... it only leads me to believe that he's terrified of love and getting hurt. I believe this is why relationship jumpers are the way they are. When things get difficult, they move on to something that is easy where they won't get hurt or have to be vulnerable in love. We were together for 7 months...I agree with you...things get difficult and they find a way out or start setting something up on the "back end" to fall on when the current relationship ends. I never cried in front of her until I had that moment together with her and spilled the beans about my love for her. I cried for 2 months every single day on the way home from work and when I got home. I was a complet wreck, and I look back on some of the emails I had sent and I feel like a complete fool. I held nothing back...and at the same time...pushed her to the brink of vanishing out of my life forever. Funny thing is...I do not regret any of it because it is how I felt and how I still do feel. Oh, and we lived together for the WHOLE 7 months...at the beginning I thought she was just a rebound for me (from a previous 6 year relationship I was in right before I met her)...I was wrong...she became much more than a rebound...she became someone I would do anything for and someone that touched my heart and made me realize that I too have a heart! Between my healing process from the 6 year relationship ending, then her moving in with me so quick, I guess we were doomed from the start. I even helped her move out of her ex's place and into mine! I guess I am the IDIOT! LOL Link to comment
SingleStar Posted July 10, 2007 Share Posted July 10, 2007 yes i have on 2 occasions. my first lov ei begged for 5 months....ok so it took 2 years but he came back! and the last one the begging only lasted a few days on both occasions and a few month later he came back i even have a ex who stalked me........but i dont even think about it now. and we are great mates. people do look back and see how much the hurt someone but it does take time! Link to comment
NiceGuy76 Posted July 10, 2007 Author Share Posted July 10, 2007 yes i have on 2 occasions. my first lov ei begged for 5 months....ok so it took 2 years but he came back! and the last one the begging only lasted a few days on both occasions and a few month later he came back i even have a ex who stalked me........but i dont even think about it now. and we are great mates. people do look back and see how much the hurt someone but it does take time! Those are guys though, I do not know if women would do the same. Do you think once the dust settles and they have nothing better to do or they feel lonely....that makes them want to contact you even more after all that time? The funny thing is, she told me I verbally abused her (in an email a long time ago) and all this other nonsense...I never did that and I wonder if that is what other guys told her to make her feel like she did the RIGHT thing by vanishing out of my life. I was not the nicest guy in the world considering the circumstances, but I was NEVER cruel to her. I even helped her move her stuff out of my place...knowing that she was banging another guy on the side while living in my spare room the last month we were living together (technically we were broken up). She would go out and do it...never doing that in my place that I know of. I could have booted her out on her butt, but I let her stay and save money so she could get out on her own the "right way". So much for being a nice guy...backfires EVERY TIME! =) Link to comment
Dako Posted July 10, 2007 Share Posted July 10, 2007 The term nice guy has a negative connotation for some folks, essentially meaning a doormat. I'm not about to take that view, but you do need to assert yourself. You can be a caring, decent gentleman but when you get walked on, it's time to look out for number one. You deserve a decent woman who won't jerk you around. Link to comment
waterbaby07 Posted July 10, 2007 Share Posted July 10, 2007 I begged and pleaded and humiliated myself for the first 2 weeks or so (we were living together). It was embarrassing for me since i've never done that before, but i was devastated and really in love with him. He had felt like i didn't love him as much as he loved me so in part, i was showing him that i did really love him. After two weeks, i had enough and i was just nice and friendly to him until i found my own place. I stopped calling him pet names and stopped calling him on the phone or asking where he was going. We just started doing our own thing. I did still kiss him on the cheek everyday (it's something we always did). He eventually came around, his heart melted a bit more, but in the end he said he was still firm in his decision. He felt like i would never be happy with him. I finally moved out after 6 weeks of living there post break-up (TORTURE). It's been over 3 weeks of NC and it's been hard, but like everyone has said on here you can't force someone to love you. I've accepted the fact that he won't ever be in my life again and i will NOT contact him for any reason. He doesn't want me in his life anymore, plain and simple, so i have to respect that and find someone who will never want me to leave his side. Link to comment
NiceGuy76 Posted July 10, 2007 Author Share Posted July 10, 2007 Funny thing happened last night...I got a call on my cell phone about 10PM. The number was a number that I have not seen for over 7 months. Actually the number was the recent ex's old number before she had it changed. I did not answer as my heart skipped multiple beats when I saw the number. What are the chances of someone calling my cell phone from her old number???? No message was left...and there was no way I would have been able to answer that call as I was in complete shock just by seeing it. I have not heard from this girl in a few months, the last contact was an email she had sent me, telling me I am an ugly person inside and out, and she dropped numerous F bombs towards me in the message. Do you think this is just a coincidence that number called my phone? I mean what are the chances that it was her? Why would she be calling me if I am such an ugly person and she did say that she "never wanted to see me again" within the last contact/email. This is very odd, and has baffled my mind for a good part of today and last night. Any suggestions? I KNOW she had that number disconnected in January...because I called it every other week back then to see if it was still disconnected. I was getting to the point of moving on in life and Finally accepting that thinking about her was a lost cause....then this happens. Any thoughts? Link to comment
NiceGuy76 Posted July 11, 2007 Author Share Posted July 11, 2007 Any thoughts to my last posting? That is very odd! Link to comment
spaced Posted July 11, 2007 Share Posted July 11, 2007 Id say it was a coincidence..she's changed phones...maybe she gave the old one to a friend and your number happened to still be in it and was rung by accident..must be a disapointment i know.... Link to comment
NiceGuy76 Posted July 11, 2007 Author Share Posted July 11, 2007 Id say it was a coincidence..she's changed phones...maybe she gave the old one to a friend and your number happened to still be in it and was rung by accident..must be a disapointment i know.... She changed her number not her phone...I am wondering if she got her number changed back to what it used to be since so much time has passed. Whatever the reason, I still think the chances of someone calling my cell from that number has to be SLIM to NONE! Link to comment
Weeblie Posted July 11, 2007 Share Posted July 11, 2007 I have no clue why she'd call you. It seems like things ended badly between you two. Perhaps she was drunk? People do crazy things when they're drunk. And I think it's odd that she still has your phone number, but then I have a tendency to keep defunct phone numbers in my phone... Perhaps she was trying to see if it still worked? I wouldn't think too hard about it. If it was supposed to mean something, she would've left a message. Link to comment
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