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does it bother you...............

Krystal_Ivy

By Krystal_Ivy
in Jealousy

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rikka Community Regular

rikka

Posted
Posted

Like most of the others here, it doesn't really bother me (because I have been guilty of it too!). Like someone said, it is about trust. It is also about reality (because let's face it, how often is Dita Von Teese going to walk through his door). I also think a dose of fantasy is healthy for everyone (within moderation of course).

 

And of course there is that whole comfort thing of knowing that despite all the other women out there, he is with me.

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Gabrielle0975 Newbie

Gabrielle0975

Posted
Posted

Hmm...this question, i think, depends on the relationship.

 

Except for my previous relationship, all my others, I've been comfortable with my ex's pointing out that celebs were hot...i've actually been comfortable with them pointing out that some of my friends were hot...because right after: "Aww baby, Jennifer's so hot" would be: "But I like you better...she's got a pudgy stomach and besides...she doesnt have eyes like yours"...so it was constantly a 100% reminder that they liked me...not the other girl.

 

However, in my previous relationship, my abusive ex put me down mercilessly and thus, if he even mentioned some hot lady that died years ago...it would make me wanna barf.

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Solarist Rookie

Solarist

Posted
Posted

I, even with my huge insecurities, are not too bothered by celebs - they are in the realm of "Ain't never going to happen" so there really is no threat. I know my wife has a huge crush on Olando Bloom, and she does swoon at times (and purposely sees any movie he is in) - but it doesn't bother me (and besides, I still have Nicole Kidman. ). What does bother me, however, is when she comments that someone locally is hot, since that falls in the realm of "maybe".

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Almond Newbie

Almond

Posted
Posted

Interesting topic because I have had a talk about this with my girlfriend.

 

Short version... if they give equivalent comments to you, than all is fine. If they are constantly commenting on other people, but never complement you... it MAY be a bad sign. My view is that it is ok to comment on someone who is handsome/pretty, but be polite about it... no improper/trashy comments necessary.

 

My girlfriend has gotten into the habit of saying a celebrity is "hot" when watching TV or a movie.

 

I can't say I mind it too much if it is rare... but I found myself picking up on it more recently when my girlfriend started doing it more. She would not exactly drool... but combined with the fact that she never really complemented me physically... I found it a bit rude.

 

I should say that I NEVER say that about women in movies/real life, and I always complement her. If I am pressed on it, I will only make respectful comments. I think it is only respectful to let your partner know you find them beautiful/handsome, and not give them the impression that you are checking out every girl/guy.

 

I ended up countering one time she said an actor was really hot during a show by saying... "you know who is really hot? Jessica Alba." She actually did a double take because I never said that kind of thing before about another woman. I ended up having a talk with her... saying that I found her comments to be a bit impolite. She said that all girls were like that, and most boys too. She may be right, but I said that I didn't think those kinds of thoughts needed to be said aloud to a partner, as they add little to the relationship.

 

Just my view, but I am a terrible romantic.

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undeniyable Newbie

undeniyable

Posted
Posted
Does it bother you (male or female) when your bf/gf has the hots for a celebrity? I don't mean them just thinking their hot, but like really thinking their hot!! do you mind when they mention it? In a way I think it's dumb because they are just celebs but then I think, well if that person weren't a celeb and just some random co-worker of theirs, would I mind if they had the hots for them? yes!

 

 

In general I think it's rude for anyone's SO to announce that they have a crush on somebody else. That's def. a self-esteem burner. Sizzle...OUCH!!

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RayKay Grand Master

RayKay

Posted
Posted

Naw, it does not bother me. I know the reality is that even if they DID walk through the door, he would not run off with them anyway. Not that he would not be following her around the room with his eyes, but I know he respects and loves me.

 

My boyfriend's crush is (and has been for umpteen years before I ever even knew him) Tyra Banks. And she could not be farther from how I look...lol.

 

When I still got my Victoria's Secret catalogues, I used to make sure to show him the pictures with her in them.

 

I personally don't see it...she is a beautiful woman, but I find her a bit annoying when she talks, personally .

 

I don't really have a celeb crush...well, I have always had a small crush for Dave Matthews (from Dave Matthews Band) but again, I certainly would not run off with him because of it. I adore my partner, HE is the sexiest man in the world in my eyes!

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undeniyable Newbie

undeniyable

Posted
Posted
"Not that he would not be following her around the room with his eyes, but I know he respects and loves me."

 

And you think his eyes following her around the room would be disrespectful??

OF course that would be very disrespectful to me. If I ever caught my boyfriend staring at some random chick who was I knew was hot, then of course I would be ticked.

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RayKay Grand Master

RayKay

Posted
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"Not that he would not be following her around the room with his eyes, but I know he respects and loves me."

 

And you think his eyes following her around the room would be disrespectful??

 

It's not like he would do it so I would notice (I would notice anyway because I would be teasing him about her being there, but he certainly would not be rubbing it in my face), and be glaring at her. I did not mean he would literally be stopping in his tracks and making it obvious that he was GLARING at her in any means, that does not mean I would not know he was probably looking at her at times!

 

So no, I would not find it disrespectful if he looked at her. I have never for one moment doubted his love and great respect for me. I have been with him for three years, and can not even think of one time where he has ever been disrespectful to me concerning other women, or disrespectful at all for that matter. I have never felt compared, inadequate or in anyway "not enough" for him.

 

I have never seen him follow "random chicks" around the room, but I am talking about the specific instance if Tyra Banks was in the room. I am not saying he does not notice an attractive woman - I am quite sure he does, but he has never made it obvious or done it in a way that is disrespectful to me.

 

Heck, if Tyra Banks was in the room *I* would be watching her walk around the room too.

 

It might be something that would bother you, but my partner and I know one another well enough that this would be something we would be able to have fun with and still be respectful of one another's feelings. It all depends on the individuals and the relationship involved as to what one's "boundaries" are. And just because your boundaries are different does not mean that ours are wrong for us.

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