A rollercoaster in my head

[Unmotivated]

I've been dating a girl for a while, my first real dating experience, and I find myself always wondering if she's still interested. After a while, I've noticed this pattern that plays out each time I get a chance to see her. I'm not so much looking for advice, I was just wondering if anybody else has felt like this in a relationship.

 

1] I Talk to Her

2] Relief / Excitement - “That went really well!”

3] Worry / Speculation - “What did she mean by ___? What did she think when I said ___?”

4] Doubt - “I’ve got a bad feeling this isn’t going to work out.”

5] Optimism - “It’s going to be fine. Just look at the facts. (this, that, etc)”

6] Pessimism - “Who am I kidding? It’s obvious that "

7] Last Stand - “I’ve got nothing left to lose. I’ll just go talk to her and ask her how she feels.”

8] Failure - I talk to her, but the conversation doesn’t go how I had it planned in my mind, I don’t ask the real questions. I get some affirmation, but then I’m back at step 2.

[Chilly Willy]

Wow, my friend you are thinking way to much. Don't be so negative, and relax. She's still with you right?

 

But to answer your question, I seriously don't remember being that way.

[truthbetold]

You are most definitely not the only person with that problem. Alot of my friends and even my ex said I over analysis things too much, that I need to relax more. It's hard to do because I always remember being kinda paranoid like that.

[Unmotivated]

Thanks truthbetold. Nice to know I'm not the only one with an over-analytical head. It's frustrating because nothing will have changed since last time I saw her, but my perspective and opinion of the state of the relationship goes meandering on it's own little journey of ups and downs. And now that I see myself doing this, I find it hard to trust myself at any given time for fear that I'm blowing something out of proportion.

[mintblossom]

I don't know what to say except that having such fears and doubts seem normal to me. Yes, I say normal because I do it too. It's almost like I have to turn off the noise that goes on in my head - "oh, he won't like me", "oh that didn't go well"......etc.

 

It seems my anxiety level goes up pondering and puzzling. In the end, it's important to find a way to accept uncertainty as long as you feel you behaved appropriately. That is the most important I think - feeling like YOU behaved right. You can't control how someone else reacts.