CrapAtNC Posted June 18, 2007 Share Posted June 18, 2007 This is what I came to this forum for: I want to hear the success stories and how you did it. (1) How long were you together? (2) How long were you apart? (3) How much NC was there, and what kind? (100%? You reply to the ex's? Short and sweet? Complete communication throughout?) (4) Did either of you enter a new relationship? (5) How did the reconciliation take place (lots of details, please)? (6) How is/was the new relationship? Feel free to throw in anything else you feel may be relevant. Looking forward to hearing from you! Link to comment
Boughs Posted June 18, 2007 Share Posted June 18, 2007 1) 1 year 2) 1 month 3) 100% 4) No 5) She hit a low, and coincidentally I returned a few things (such a stupid idea) and she came running back. I was the one to break with her though... but I missed the sex and the company so I took her back. 6) It turned into pure sex then i left for school and we broke up. It was terrible. Link to comment
TMinCali Posted June 18, 2007 Share Posted June 18, 2007 CrapAtNC, like I mentioned in my "Hitch" thread, I was in a 10 year and 4 year relationhip. In both cases, I was always open for reconciliation, but neither of them convinced me that I should come back. I honestly believe men and women are VERY different when it comes to reconciliation. Most women WANT attention and most guys want space.. or freedom. IMO, no contact for women justifies that the guy never cared, and thereforeee, she moves on. Oh yeah, she'll contact you again months later and that's because she still sees you as someone she wants to be with. It's how you HANDLE the situation that matters. I know I'm contradicting alot of the great advice that is given on here, but I really think we need to examine how men and women behave and what their desires really are when it comes to a relationship. A guy that feels smothered or pressured in a relationship will benefit from no contact. Yeah, he'll miss his ex and be able to come to the realization if that person is someone he wants to be with. For women, I believe no contact will make them feel even more unappreciated and "ignored" which most likely lead to the breakup to begin with. Saying that women contact an ex because they're lonley or want to keep you on a string is down right ridiculous. MOST women are not like this. We are contacting you because we still care and want to see if you are willing to show us the appreciation and respect we always longed for. I agree that when contact is made it should be kept light and pleasant, but for God's sake, dont' act like you don't care because I guarantee it, the other guy (if there is one) is giving her the attention that she's looking for from you. Link to comment
Coyote9 Posted June 18, 2007 Share Posted June 18, 2007 This is what I came to this forum for: I want to hear the success stories and how you did it. (1) How long were you together? (2) How long were you apart? (3) How much NC was there, and what kind? (100%? You reply to the ex's? Short and sweet? Complete communication throughout?) (4) Did either of you enter a new relationship? (5) How did the reconciliation take place (lots of details, please)? (6) How is/was the new relationship? Feel free to throw in anything else you feel may be relevant. Looking forward to hearing from you! 1. 1.5 years 2. Which time? 1-4 weeks 4 different times over 6 months. 3. First time, 3 weeks...she texted me and ran into me at the gym, I took that as motivation to be back together and we were. 4. No 5. She was not really ever committed to the long term I don't think, although the longer we were together, even with the breakups, the more committed I became, and the more emotionally distant she became. 6. She finally ended it once and for all with a note left at my house while I was gone on a business trip (she was there taking care of my dog). I was devestated and would advise anyone who is on this forum that thinks NC is a way to get your ex back may be sorely dissappointed even if they do come back, because likely it is for a short period of time, and you will be even more hurt. At least do NC for 6 months and make sure you are allowing the other person to really tell you why they want back, versus throwing you a few crumbs of interest because they are lonely, bored, curious or jealous. Link to comment
mikeca Posted June 18, 2007 Share Posted June 18, 2007 (1) How long were you together? 1 Year (2) How long were you apart? 6 Months (3) How much NC was there, and what kind? (100%? You reply to the ex's? Short and sweet? Complete communication throughout?) 100% no Contact for the 6months (4) Did either of you enter a new relationship? We both had some flings (5) How did the reconciliation take place (lots of details, please)? Kinda its own demise. I found out that she was planning on moving, so i was like ahh what the hell shes going out one last night i'll go out too. Saw her and came up to her "I got one more dance in me for you" turned out she wasnt leaving for another week....hung out all that week and talked..held hands and eventually i planted a kiss on her again (kinda like early dates) (6) How is/was the new relationship? Started strong, but with the new LDR after she moved, it was too much and eventually ended again. Link to comment
devast Posted June 18, 2007 Share Posted June 18, 2007 I know why non of your long term boyfriends didn't convinced you to come back... because they didn't want you back after all those years, you blame them for getting attracted to other guys.... or whatever trying to make them prove to you and whatever you want... after all those times... Yes I reacted lengthy counter analogy on what you said on your "hitch" thread... Anyway to the original topic of this thread.... who broke up who? and for what reasons? My I broke up with my ex (not the most recent ex)..because she cheated on me... 1) 4 years.. she got pregnant but we lost the child 2) 2 weeks 3) less contact 4) No 5) I asked her to come back without apologies to what she did... I missed her, I loved her, and I have sacrificed so much for her.. so she didn't had to say sorry... just asked her back... and she did 6) Started ok... going down hill and exactly one year after and almost the same date I learned she cheated on me the first time.... she cheated again to me... the second time... Her reasons, TMCali is what you were thinking... I lost affections as I was very busy at work making ends meet for us and our future.. I got home tired.. and almost sleepy to be fun and affectionate with her... She missed all the things I used to do with her, so a friendly offering coworker who had much time to flirt with her... rocked her feelings... Sorry... until now seven years later, she's still hoping I can forgive her and get us back together... Not anymore... her reasons is just about a "stupid choice", "selfish and irrationale"... not reasonable enough... What about me? just a simple counter realization? during those times that I went home tired, did she ever became affectionate to me... to loosen up? to give me comfort because I am tired? I have a feeling that my most recent ex of 2.5 years had the same feelings... she missed my usual ways... though I can't confirm she had a relationship with coworker before we broke-up... she admitted to me, 3 months after our break-up, she said she had been going out on a date... with coworker... so much to think about.. that's why I am on NC... for good... even if her reason is just testing me... if she wants me to prove I really want her back.. sorry it ain't happening... her reasons are not good enough for me... it only means to me that she's only thinking about her feelings...she's not thinking about my feelings as well... Link to comment
Thunderforce Posted June 18, 2007 Share Posted June 18, 2007 I never went back to my ex when I broke up. Link to comment
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