question for girls. re: approaching someone in a club

[baldo]

Obviously when a man goes up to a girl in a club or bar he's at an instant disadvantage because more times than not it can seem like a drunken, seedy attempt to 'pull' which is very unattractive or at worst threatening.

Consequently it's very difficult for a man with genuine intentions who sees someone that he likes the look of and would like to chat to to initiate contact/conversation.

 

I was wondering if you may be able to share experiences of what's good and what's bad. I.e if you were to be approached by a man in a club what would be the dos and don'ts.

 

Thanks

[CarnelianButterfly]

I don't talk to guys that stare like open mouthed idiots for 15 min straight and then walk up to me, that's just tacky and creepy.

 

If a girl is headed for the bathroom, leave her alone, its uber creepy to see guys hanging out around the johns and hitting on every full bladdered female that walks by.

[ycmanvs]

If a girl makes eye contact with you and smiles back at you, then you are ok to proceed. Eye contact tells you if she likes you.

[Diablo7000]

hey baldo, i met this girl at a club sunday and i danced for like 15 mins with her, we had a good convo on the dance floor itself, jsut askin small questions and makin ehr laugh, and then she went to get water but before she did, she asked for my number lol and so we gotta date this friday, so take care of business with the girl you're dancing with... if she don't ask you for your number, ask for hers, but if you can get in good with her, she might just ask for yours

[PocoDiablo]

If a girl makes eye contact with you and smiles back at you, then you are ok to proceed. Eye contact tells you if she likes you.

If the contact lasts for 4 seconds or more.

[ghost69]

or if she does a double take. you can feel the eyes trying to look into your soul. it's a good indication.

 

and if you try with some girl in a club and she thinks that all guys are trying to get into her pants and aren't genuine, you should roll on anyways. she is a snot.

[Altoona]

Taking notes:

 

Eye contact for 4 seconds or more. If they don't notice, stare

Smile and show them your pearlies

Then swing the pony tail to get their attention

Shake what your moma gave you \\

 

Do you think this would work for people over 40's [-o

[charliebrown]

i haven't been to many clubs.. and the reason is because of what happened the few times i did go.

 

guys just come up to you, barely even try to talk, and just grab on you like you are an object. maybe he'll ask my name or where i'm from... but let's be serious he doesn't care.

 

i don't like it. so advice would be, don't do that.

[ghost69]

Taking notes:

 

Eye contact for 4 seconds or more. If they don't notice, stare

Smile and show them your pearlies

Then swing the pony tail to get their attention

Shake what your moma gave you \\

 

Do you think this would work for people over 40's [-o

 

just don't stare like you are going to stab me in the parking lot.

 

i haven't been to many clubs.. and the reason is because of what happened the few times i did go.

 

guys just come up to you, barely even try to talk, and just grab on you like you are an object. maybe he'll ask my name or where i'm from... but let's be serious he doesn't care.

 

i don't like it. so advice would be, don't do that.

 

maybe it's the places you are going. overcrowded party bars is where this usually happens. dance floors with drunks, etc. try more low key places.

[kuys]

Went to a club last saturday with the wifey, this girl was literally attacking me, my girl was there and she was pretty pissed. I kindly told the her I was taken, finally she backed off after the 3rd time I said it lol. I felt like a piece of meat, so I now know how girls must feel

 

if I wasn't taken tho, the ending would be totally different.

[IronHorse]

If a girl makes eye contact with you and smiles back at you, then you are ok to proceed. Eye contact tells you if she likes you.

 

 

What if this never happens? Are we (Am I) to believe it's time to close up shop? I've went to this one nightclub for a couple of years and no one's ever looked at me. I haven't even had a conversation with someone in this place (excluding the staff)... I just quit going to that place but I did try a few other places before I just gave up altogether, the results were the same, no matter where I went!

 

I guess some people just don't have any luck?

[PocoDiablo]

If it's never happened, it's because you're (a) not holding your head up (b) not looking around or © not paying attention.

 

Believe me, everyone looks and gets looked at.

[IronHorse]

If it's never happened, it's because you're (a) not holding your head up (b) not looking around or © not paying attention.

 

Believe me, everyone looks and gets looked at.

 

I wish that were so but in truth not everyone.

[PocoDiablo]

Your body language has a lot to do with this as well, as does how you dress, how you take care of yourself, etc.

[IronHorse]

Your body language has a lot to do with this as well, as does how you dress, how you take care of yourself, etc.

 

Well, I don't slouch, I don't dress like a slob, and I keep healthy...

 

So, that theory doesn't hold water!

[Leooo]

Iron Horse you bring up some good points but dont be defeatist - women wont go out with you out of pity for having no luck (not that im saying thats what your after) However - look at it like this.. the more your out, the more chances you have of seeing women, the more chances of seeing women means you have more of a chance of finding one you like, and thereforeeee more of a chance one likes you. Make sense!?

 

I used to say exactly what your saying, but dont get beat up over it cos it really really wont help - keep cracking away n you'll soon meet someone who you like and who likes you for how you are.

 

QUOTE:

 

Originally Posted by PocoDiablo:

 

If it's never happened, it's because you're (a) not holding your head up (b) not looking around or © not paying attention.

_______________________________________________________________

 

Well said.

 

Lee

Going clubbing tonight WOO!!

 

_________________________________________________________________

 

**Schizophrenia beats being alone.**

 

**Ham and Eggs: A day's work for a chicken; A lifetime commitment for a pig.**

 

**I used to be schizophrenic, but we're all right now.**

[ghost69]

pocoD is right. how would a woman notice not to look at you without having looked at you. everyone sizes everyone up. unless only dead people can see you, you get looked at.

[IronHorse]

I hear what your saying and I have to agree that at some point and time someone had to notice... However, what they noticed is another matter altogether. What ever it must have been couldn't have been favorable!

 

I've went to one place for a couple of years almost every saturday night and in all that time I never got to speak to anyone but the staff. No one would stand/set near me let alone speak to me if I tried to approach them. It even got the attention of some of the bartenders one once told me "you must be the most unlucky individual I've ever ran accross." She went on to say, "I really don't get it? Your an okay looking guy and your an great conversaionalist... I feel for you. Maybe you should try one of those online dating sites?

 

I have tried those things and that was of no good either. People just ignored my messages and no one ever checked out my profile...

[TropicalParadise]

Whatever you do, don't use pick-up lines.

[PocoDiablo]

I've went to one place for a couple of years almost every saturday night and in all that time I never got to speak to anyone but the staff. No one would stand/set near me let alone speak to me if I tried to approach them. It even got the attention of some of the bartenders one once told me "you must be the most unlucky individual I've ever ran accross." She went on to say, "I really don't get it? Your an okay looking guy and your an great conversaionalist...

The trick here is that you went alone. You must never go alone, you have to bring a friend. Every week on the same day around the same time the two of you need to show up. Quite simply ignore everyone and just have a good time. Be sure to engage each other - tell jokes, poke fun at each other, and have a GENUINELY good time. Over the course of 4-8 weeks the regulars will pick up on the fact that you're there all the time, you don't hit on anyone (a challenge), you are always laughing and having a good time, you're dressed nicely (to fit into the environment), and you have friends. These people will see you and sooner or later they will want to come join you. At that time, you can do whatever you want. Tell them it's a private club, and the fee to join is a round of drinks. Or they have to join you in shots. I've told women they have to give me their underwear to join and in return got a free shot (surprisingly, that netted me something like 5 pairs in one night... they actually were RUNNING to the restroom, competing against each other to get back first! And yes, I returned them... they weren't my size you know... ) The point is to go out and have a good time. Don't be an obnoxious drunk, and don't hit on people.

 

I feel for you. Maybe you should try one of those online dating sites?

 

I have tried those things and that was of no good either. People just ignored my messages and no one ever checked out my profile...

Online sites are a whole different ball game. There are tons of tips out there on how to make an effective profile, so i will suggest you Google them up. Photos with friends are #1, descriptive profiles describing activities you've done or like to do help, write stories not "I like walks on the beach" kind of garbage, and so on and so forth. Writing profiles and Pick-Up messages are an art in an of themselves. Suffice to say, the LESS time you spend writing emails, so long as you connect to something in the persons profile, the MORE likely you will get responses.

[IronHorse]

I'm in total agreement about the friend thing and not going alone... However, I have little choice in that matter since I have no friends! So, flying solo is my only choice.... I don't see that as the end all but it sure does complicate the situation... However, to counter that effect I make it a point to be seen having interesting conversations with the staff. That in turn helps to establish a great impression on the employees and should someone ever ask about you... They will have only good things to say about you and might mention to you that a certain certain person was asking about you the other night after you left... (Of course this has never happened but I know my theory is correct in principal. It only makes good sense that if you left a bad impression with the employees of the establishment that would have the opposite effect)...

 

Not that I have anything against drinking but I rarely ever drink, unless I'm at home. So, no need to worry about me stumbling, slurring my speach or otherwise making an "A" out of myself.

 

I conduct myself with a sense of dignity and pride but not arrogance. I don't go around cat calling ever skirt that walks by me... You seem to call that a "challenge" and if that be the case then I must be a challenge not worth taking in their eyes.

 

You would think all of that would be a huge plus for me in a sea of drunken, arrogant, booty chasing men?

 

Needless to say, No!

 

Anyhow after a couple of years of being just overlooked all the time. I just quit going out altogether because it was pointless. No one was interested and from all gathered evidence no one ever would be. It wasn't anything I was doing wrong but rather they must be thinking they could find something better. That's why I was being rejected!!!!!!!!!!

 

I won't say much about that online dating thing but if your not a super super GQ hot looking guy, then your wasting your time. The women on most of those sites get tons of mail and only respond to the top 1% of the 1%... Furthermore, the women on those sites tend to be very unrealistic and that would explain why they are so single and using sites like those... (I'm not saying all the woman just the mass majority. I do understand that for some women they don't care for the bar scene and/or their time is limited and using such sites are to an advantage for them, that is completely understandable)

 

I don't use those sites any longer and will never again be on one!