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Not sure what do what to do


Hopeful99

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I have been dating my current gf for about 18 mos. She was coming out of a painful divorce a couple of months before we met and stated from the beginning that her children were very important and that shewas not sure shewanted/needed to get married again. However, we both fell in love and she has told me many times I am the best (in all ways) that she has ever been with. We had a hard conversation last night as she has w/d from meover the past couple of months - I asked her if she wanted to break up - she said no....she was not sure about taking a break but said she would be very upset (hurt) if I dated anyone - this cause I told her I was not going to sit around if she broke up with me.

 

She will not ell me why she has been distant - just said she gets like this and needs space - I have never seen this in 18 mos and am worried she has fallen out of love or met someone else.......she told me last night she loves me and I am the best - I gave her an easy out and told her if she wanted to break up I would respect her and leave.....she cannot tell me why she has been strssed out and distant - I don't understand how you don't know what the problem is.....I am afraid she is in inner turmoil b/c she thinks I am a great person but maybe she does not feel "it" anymore - we did not have sex this week but did last week and everytime she tells me it is unbelievable.....just not sure ehat to think if she is playing me or if she is truly confused about something

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You may have been a rebound relationship and she's now realizing it.

If she was just out of a painful divorce, she may have been vulnerable and unhappy with herself.

 

I'd be surprised if she's not feeling a need for space, even after 18 months with you.

 

How long was she married?

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Marriage # 1 was 7 years - Marriage #2 was 3........Marriage #2 was very abusive and she is very guarded about everything as a result....whay can't she just tell the truth - she did not tell me she eanted to break up but I am basically going to disappear ( I would do NC but we work on te same floor). She knows how to get a hold of me......intersting enough this has been the pattern of my three other LTR's......then they come back and want to get married....honestly I am tired of going through this........at this point I just do not understand women at all.

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Thanks Dako - It is just very hard right now b/c I love her so much - and she knows how much I love her - she hasn't officially ended it but my fear is that is around the corner - I have treated her very well and sometimes she has mentioned she does not deserve it b/c I think somethimes she is guilty about her past and impact on her kids from #1

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