Am I a slacker??

[coyote99]

My boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me a few months ago. When we first dated we were always being so good to eachother. Doing romantic things, leaving notes for one another and always calling. Throughout the relationship he has always gone out of his way to do things for me on a daily basis. He would always buy me things I liked and spoil me like crazy. However, I started getting more comfortable with him and did less little things. I would buy him things on occasion and always call during the day to tell him that I loved him. He seemed to be knocking himself out trying to keep me even though I reassured him I would never leave. He would get so mad at me and say can't you ever plan anything or I don't think you appreciate me for who I am. I always said thankyou and was very loving towards him. I am scared he was so insecure because of past relationships that he was trying to be perfect. I started to feel comfortable and move out of the "in the clouds" stage and get back to real life. He can even be a little high maintenance with his friends also. If he does something for them they owe him. Was I a slacker?

[Turboz]

No.

 

It's usual for a man to buy his gf gifts and send notes to her etc. The woman's role typically is to accept and play hard to get.

 

I wouldn't expect a woman to keep sending me notes and buying me gifts but I would certainly do it for her. What I would expect is what you did - At least a phone call to hear the words "I love you" every few days. That would be so nice. Unfortunately it's something I've never experienced and probably never will.

 

My personal opinion is that you have behaved like a lady (from what I can tell).

 

If he has a problem beleiving that you are in love with him then that is his problem. Ye you could try to earn his trust but thats a difficult thing. Trust comes over time and it's not something you can just command.

 

Best wishes,

Turboz

[simply complicated]

I don't think you were a slacker, it's just you gotta change things up in relationships or else it gets boring, if you do the same thing and follow the same routine your gonna stick to your same ways and same thoughts, if he had a problem trusting you, then you both should've tried something new, in terms of romance, or different approaches of discussing the problem. because you both were doing the same things over and over again, without adding something new so the problem stayed, if he was putting in all that effort and nothing was changing, then i don't blame him for getting upset, but you only realize these things when you experience them, i have to be in the most messed up situation when it comes to the relationship i'm in, I posted my little situation awhile ago, but through that experience, that is one i've learned so far, but it's not your fault, your were'nt slacking, it's like you told me, when your surrounded by that mistrust, it drives you away.