Don't know what to believe

[lilcherub]

My fiancee is back home in Texas and has been for the past few months while I am stuck here in Canada. Last night I was talking to his cousin and neice who lives with him and they mentioned that he been drinking last night. That they had never seen him that drunk before. Anyway I was playing on the internet and one of his ex's saught me out to tell me online through messenger, that he was really drunk and he come over they did their thang,now he was sleeping in her bed. She told me to back off cause he's hers now.

 

What to do? Do I believe her? Do I get mad at him?

How do I approach him? Do I wait for him to tell me? I have never had to do this before when its someone I love.

 

Someone please give me some advice?

 

 

Lilcherub

[Turboz]

By the sounds of it you don't seem to communicate with him that well.

 

Call him talk to him ASK him. How do you know his ex's online? - It's not really a normal thing to have contact with your partner's ex's.

 

If you keep regular contact with his previous partners and he does too, then its asking for trouble.

 

If you feel that he's got a drink problem and he's not going to remain faithful then leave him and end it - before he does.

 

Sorry, but I don't believe a man should get drunk and go with another woman - If a woman means that much to a man he should never look at another woman no matter how drunk he is. I'm sorry but thats the way I see it. If you mean that much to him he won't do it. If he has, loose him ASAP.

 

Good luck,

Turboz

[Gilgamesh]

Find out the truth, ask him, tell him what that girl said, dont take her word for it. if its true, than you may want to consider what you have on your hands if its not, then this girl will not look very favorable in the eyes of you fiancee

 

Look at it this way, if he did get drunk and mess around, think of it as a lucky warning. do you really want someone like that? forget the competition and pride, what you want is someone you can trust and will make you happy. if he cheated then let her have him, hes no prize.

 

by the way, drinking and being drunk is no excuse, so dont use that as a justification for what he did, (if he did).

[lilcherub]

To understand a little more........... I had no contact with his ex's until she found me online last night and told me about what he apparently did.

 

Thankyou for the advice when he gets back home today I will approach him if thats what is the best thing to do.

 

 

lilcherub

[Mar]

I definitely agree that you need to speak to him. Why would his ex seek you out to tell you this? He's very far away and may have cheated because he feels that the distance keeps him safe. Unfortunately for him, he didn't take his ex into consideration.

 

I would have a LONG talk with this guy, and figure out what YOU want. Never mind what he wants.....if he confesses that he did cheat, then what he wants is pretty much moot as far as how this relationship ends up. Drinking is NO excuse for bad behavior.....I've been utterly, completely smashed and still had the common sense to know what I was doing and who I was doing it with! If you drink to the point of a blackout and truly can't remember what was done, then you have a serious drinking problem that can and does cause all sorts of other issues. Take this from someone who's had way too many alcoholics in her life!

 

If he adamantly states that he did NOT cheat, I'd have my own way of solving the issue, which most people would disagree with, in that I'd have him call the ex and ask her why she did such a thing while I listened on the extension. Yes, it's sneaky, but that's ONLY WHAT I'D DO!!! *ducks the flying objects being hurled at her* But seriously.....if he is being honest and swears nothing happened, I would suggest that he call his ex and tell her to back off and stop trying to compete for him, as she's out of his life and you are in it. Marriage is a BIG step, and you have to be 100% sure you can fully trust him before deciding to take that step!