I can't jump into conclusion... Maybe I am just fine... Am I?

[devast]

Well.. I have been all over the break-up board... lots of post there... I just got my break-up 3-4 mos ago... I felt cheated.. Anger inside me for my ex a little bit... Starting to move on and not wanting to depend on my ex's return... I don't want her now anyway...

 

Fastforward... I now have a new gf.. I don't want to call this a rebound relationship, coz I am feeling something special for her... She's quite nice.. and many things I like about her...

 

Anyway, I am from a different country.. So I basically know nothing about her past, except from what she's telling me and I know no one to help me confirm her background to me... So its like whatever she says, I can't argue with her... I shoukld just believe her.. But anyway, AS of the moment, she's believable for me... Talks straight forward and looks me in the eye, without winking and no sweating.. She should be telling me the truth about her past right?

 

Anyway...Confusions: the other night, we went out with her bestfriend... She got drunk... When me and my new gf were dancing, there was this one guy, who was showing interest with her bestfriend.. offered drinks and talked to her bestfriend... they were talking, her bestfriend was giving the guy a spin around but she's not really into him..and then when we went back to the table, my gf was laughing with her bestfriend, they were talking and this guy accasionally talks to my gf, where my gf would occasionally giggles...for a few minutes I felt isolated, what can I don I don't understand their language.

 

Anyway yesterday, we hang around with her friends (girls)... we talked many things... they're teasing each other (although sometimes they use their local language)... Fools around about their past relationships or experiences... and then her bestfriend (i don't know if she purposely did it or not), said about the crazyness (actually sounds "flirting" to me) that they did in some bars in another city long ago... Like they were looking for gorgeous guys and they would bet on who would go make friends with this guy, and I am not sure what would make one of them win whatever... ANyway, the bestfriend would say my gf won the game... I don't know what's the whole story...And how did my gf won what bet...

 

So we were still talking and the conversation went into attraction topic... so we talked about "how I got attracted to my gf"...Ok answered honestly what attracted me to my gf...And so we went on "what attracted my gf about me"... so I tried to joke with some assumptions about me that would attract my gf to me... But at a point they looked at each other and giggled... It made me felt weird and awkward...

 

What I thought was they were betting on who would attract me to whom of them, when my new gf first talked to me in the gym.. Anyway, she's the fitness and spa manager in the hotel where I am staying... So I am not sure if they betted on who would win me because it is her job, as a manager, to talk to their guests, right?..But as far as I can remember, she told me first time wewent out on a date that it was actually her bestfriend who wants to know my name, like it was her bestfriend who was actually interested in me... so I think there is some connection to this instances to what I am thinking... I don't know really..

 

I don't want to ask my new gf about it.. I don't want to see her wink or sweat or not look at me straight up when she say her answer to it... or I don't want to confirm it.. It will hurt me.. I just got a break-up..

 

I am thinking... Am I right about this? My new gf is not serious to me? Or is it just normal to her to fool around with guys? I will be moving out soon to another country or to my own country.. I would like to continue our relationship.. LDR is fine with me... But if she's like that, I can't have a peace of mind when I am away from her...

 

See, what i am confused about is... she bought me a ring... and she's actually planning to buy me a watch... I don't know why..But she likes to buy me stuffs especially when she goes somewhere and she said she thought about me... If they bet on something about me... Is this part of their game? What stupid things should I do, that would make my gf win their bet?.. I am confused...

 

Anyhow...Well I am crazy myself, when I want to..Sometimes...I thought..I would go with the flow... Let it ride... Have fun with their games... Anyway I am a man... But I felt tired of playing... I want to settle down, I believe... coz I am not getting any younger...

 

But I want to make sure if this is just a game to my new gf.. or is it that she's already falling for me, instead of playing their games...

[Reilly2856]

Even though you may be afraid of finding out the truth, the best way to know is confronting her. As you said, you don't know anyone to confirm her background (friends and such), so that is not an avenue you can explore to get information. So, there is only her. Ask her and note her body language and response. It's better to get the truth upfront then invest more time into a relationship based on lies. Also, if you don't ask her now, you will always wonder....which won't make the long-distance relationship work out as those require a LOT of trust and faith in your partner.

[devast]

Yeah.. I thought about it... I can't be thinking about it if I can just find it out through her... But I didn't ask her..

 

Last night...we talked... I just plugged this thoughts in during our conversation... I just asked "what do they mean, they bet and she won (my gf) before with a man in a bar?"...

 

According to her... her bestfriend is always teasing her because its been a long time since her (my gf) bf went missing, left her without a word or a note, whatever, and she haven't had a new bf since then.. her bestfriend is teasing her not to sit and wait around for some guy to save her day... her bestfriend told her she should make a move, when she see a nice guy (looks like), she must do the move rather than wait for this guy to come... so her bestrfriend was testing her guts if she can actually make a move to a guy...

 

So she did it... got the guy's number..then when she went to the toilet and came out.. the guy was no longer in the bar... but the called her when she was on her way home...

 

well she told me about this before, but not about the first part, where her bestfriend was testing her guts...I asked before when we were out one night and she had a phne call..it was the guy.. so she told me about it before.. That's her story...

 

Anyway, what can I do? Am I wrong? What if I was also a test piece before we started..her bestfriend was testing her guts if she can make me fall for her...

 

Confused still... coz last night we talked about me moving out of the country... she looked sad... and I asked her if she's willing to continue as she know for a fact that I am not gonna be with her forever.. no one knows...

 

She said, she wants to end it..... but before we end our conversation she took her words back... she still wants to continue no matter what the future brings...

 

When she got home she called me, she's in tears...

 

I am confused... is she just acting? part of the game? or yes it may have started a game to her, but now its not anymore for her?