This decision is destroying my life....

[Raincheck]

I am torn between a decision, like EXTREMELY TORN to the point that it is interferring with my life! I am not going to mention what the problem is, because 99% of you won't get it, but what can I do? I think about this day and night, night and day, 5 minutes do not go by that I don't think about whether I should or should not do this. Again, don't ask what it is. Its nothing illegal and its nothing you will undersatnd, TRUST ME, so please...leave it alone.

 

But its driving me crazy. Literally, one hour I am all for doing it, the next I am all against it. Okay..let me try to give an example:

 

Say you really want to be in the army and they had some kind of summer bootcamp you had to attend to be considered part of the army (its an example). So say you almost finished the bootcamp, but left it and then you regreted leaving the bootcamp for months and months afterwards. You saw your friends finish the bootcamp and you wish you could have finished with them. You wanted so bad to be part of the army, it made you feel like you had something to hold onto and it was the last summer you could do it becaue of your age, lets say. So now, this summer the same oppurtunity presents itself, and they told you they will work around your age and that you could participate again. Now your torn because:

 

-You dont want to give up your summer again

-The training was really tough and your afraid of getting hurt

-You're afraid of leaving it half way finished again

-It would require putting your life on hold for 2+ months and cut out all socializing.

 

 

So say your torn between this decision...like EXTREMELY...to the point that it is hurting your life, beause you cant stop thinking about it...yet you dont feel like giving up your summer and going through all that work again....

 

what do you suggest here? maybe I dont want to be part of the army (example) that bad because I am not willing to so quickly sacrifice my summer again? But then I feel inadequate without it.

[Raincheck]

I just thought I would add that I feel soooo good, when I just say, "ah, forget about it" and decide to just live instead of believing that the "army" will define who I am, but then...I can't stop thinking about it. Its like I NEED "the army", and even though it would bring me tremendous benefits, I can definetely live without it if I learn tor ealize that the "army" IS NOT LIFE.

 

Again..this is not really about the army, or any US special forces.

[ButterflyWrists]

Can u list pro's and cons with YOUR problem and not an example?

[anya1607307555]

I've been torn with indecision many times in my life. anxiety hightens and you feel trapped, unable to trust yourself to make the right decision (mine stemmed from a previous poor decision that I unconsciously torture myself. even now, in times of doubt, it can still rear it's ugly head)

 

solution: stop. make a decision and stick with it. ignore the twinges of self-doubt. be stubborn and refuse to go back on your decision. (hah, I don't know if that's healthy but I have to do that sometimes) if you consider it to be the wrong one futher down the line, then so be it. you did what you thought was best today

 

listen to your instincts. if your heart isn't in it anymore, don't feel guilty about past ideas, that was then this is now. accept yourself today

 

have faith in yourself

[talo]

There are (at least) two parts of you vieing for attention. The pro army and the anti army. Whatever part you 'go with', how will you make the other part of you feel better about this decision?

 

This consideration for the part of you that 'does not get what it wants' usually throws up varying 'depth of feeling' on issues and helps you gauge and weigh up the strength of these feelings.

 

For instance if you go pro army, how will you handle the part of you that does not want to do all that work? And if you go anti army, how will you handle the part of you that (perhaps) has feelings of 'missing out' or 'not trying' or somesuch?

 

Best wishes,

[timlondon]

As "they" say, it's better to regret something you have done than regret something you haven't done... and it sounds like you might not get another chance to do this.

 

So without knowing what it is you're going to be doing (please don't do something totally mental) I think it sounds like you want to do, you can complete, and so you should get out there and sign up.