Wife is a flirt, I'm overly jealous

[darrenwall]

My wife and I have been married for almost ten years. Our marriage is great, we have 2 great kids together. My wife is a natural flirt, I knew this before I married her, but thought I could deal with it, and for the most part, I have been able to look the other way when she turns on the charm.

 

Lately I haven't been able to. What triggered it all was I found out she was sending emails to a man at her new job. I'm not sure how far the relationship had gone, but there was some sexual content to the emails. When I found out, I confronted her and she stopped emailing him. She is still working with him (at night no less!) and I can't stop feeling jealous.

 

I want to believe that there is nothing to it. After all our marriage has been through, I can't believe she would jeopardize it. But I still can't stop feelling jealous and anxious.

 

Any ideas on what to do next???

 

Thanks,

[SwingFox]

Hi,

 

Your posting looks very clear to me and you described your problem well. There are many ways to communicate. In situations you find yourself in, people sometimes communicate in 'blaming terms', like "YOU are wrong, because YOU are sending him e-mails". Communicating this way will bring your partner in a defensive state right away.

 

I rather talk in terms of explanation and always try to explain how things make me feel. In your situation I would tell my partner: "Hey sexy, I would like to share a concern. I am very worried and feel insecure over a couple of e-mails I have seen from you." Then you take it from there. In this situation she doesn't need to get defensive right away.

 

From there I would explain how much you love her and that she is your 'everything'. Try to mix positive comments with your concerns, but make sure you communicate clear to her that you would like to ask her to stop a few things.

 

I hope this was of help to you and wish you good luck in your actions.

 

~ SwingFox ~

[gsxr104]

I would definitely talk to her and let her know that this is not ok with you. Of course you don't want to have this a big blow out(as much as this probably infuriates you) because you don't wnat to be pushing her into another mans arms.