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Ok...i hope that everyone out there doesnt have my experiences. I must have no luck. let me explain what happened and i apoligize for the lenght of this post before hand. Ive been seeing this 18 year old, (keep in mind that im 31). I would defently say she loves me, and i her. I am moving from one city to another for a job and i will be leaving on tuesday. The girl that im seeing is still in high school, and while her parents are good friends of mine they dont approve of the relationship between us (sticky situtation). She called me from a payphone today, and said where she was and if i could come pick her up. I know the place that she was at, and lets just say that its not a good place. So i darted out the door to get her, now keep in mind that this is around 6pm. On the way to my house to talk, thats what she wanted to do...she started explaining that her dad just doesnt get it...etc. We got to my place and she explained to me that she was going to drop out of shcool and come out to my new city with me. I told her no that is not a good idea, and we discussed that move...and finally she agreed. I wanted her to call her parents, because i know that they would be worried about her...she told me no, they wouldnt understand and said that she would just move with me to my new city and start school there to get her ged...this went on and on for a bit...and then she said that she was scared of what her parents would do because of the time she should have been home at 430 and now its going on 630...she told me that she would spend the night with me here. and then hide until we got to the new city and then call her dad. I said no...you need to call them now...and i pleaded my case with her. She did call them about 645 and understandably her dad was very upset. I was expecting her dad to come in and sit down so we could lay out all the cards, but all he did was say "get you shit and lets go"...Ive never seen him this way...Im not trying to be the "bad guy" here. Im trying not to be a wedge between her and her family, and im trying not to let her be a wedge between her dads friendship with me...but boy did that go wrong. I tried to call her house to ask her dad to come back over so we could talk about things...but they would not answer the phone. So im planning to go over to his place of employment and have a sit down with him....do you (anyone)think that this is a good idea? I want to try to patch things up but dont really know how...I know that in the past she was date raped when she was 16, so i can understand her parents concerns...but im really not in to her for sex...lets face it sex is great...but it can cause false feeling of love...say for example if your in lust with someone...and have sex with them the lust could turn in to false love feelings....i dont want that, and i have commented my self not to do that. I guess that her dad would rather her go out with a sex crazed 18 yr old that will just use her again than with someone that really cares for her deeply.... the other thing that worries me is that she menchened that if she gets to much shit from her parents...shell fly to my new city to be with me....now that would put a real wedge between everyone when i have to call her dad and tell them that she is safe and that she is there with me in the new city. What can i do?

First off i want to thank everyone for posting here to help me. and here is what im thinking. i do find that the age diff could be hard to over come, as she is in different life stages...but as someone once said it is better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all. I can see that the odds are stacked against us, but love is a gamble, i just hope not to shoot craps. In my delima, this situtation deserves some serious thought and some serious talking. I have aranged a meeting with my girl to discuss our endevers, and if she truly (and i dont think that this is a phase for her) wants to be with me, then i have to bite the bullet (maybe litterly bite the bullet, as her dad does carrie a fire arm) and talk to her dad about us...and then logical come to a agreement for the betterment of us. I dont want to break her away from her family, i guess if i was one that preyed on younger women to get what i want i could put her against her dad/mom. but that is just not me...i want her to have a good relationship with her parents, and i dont want to come between it, i hope only to enhance it...I will talk to her dad and tell him how i feel, and hope that he donesnt think that im a pervert that just wants to get into his daughters pants, because that is not the case at all. the other fear that i must address is the one that she will grow (and i want her to). but as she grows i dont want her to look back and say i wish i did this or that. I want her to experence her life, both with me and with out me...for i believe that is the best way to grow. I dont want to be her "dad" by telling her what i think she should do and not do....if that makes sense. Now in thinking about all this i realize that i could get very hurt if i put in 3-5 years and she says i want to leave....or i need space etc, but i hope and prey that will not happen. I guess that trust in what will become is what one has to cling on to...and the fact that if two people are ment to be together nothing will stand in their way. Like i have stated before...she has enhanced my feeling for life, the zest that she brings in to my life is 10 fold...and never before have i felt this way about anyone. I am not afraid to talk to her dad, but i just wonder how to and what to say...i would like for him to see that the age diff is not a bad thing...love is love, and love has no bounds. I can hear it though and im not sure how to handle this perhaps someone can help me with this...If he says you just want my daughter to contol her, and get into her pants....i know that is not ture, there is so much more to this girl, but how can i tactfully address this issue. If i come right out and say i dont want to just have sex with his daughter, i can see flaws in that...like oh so you want to have sex with her then huh. and if i say i dont want to have sex with her...then i can see the oppisite "what is she not good enough for you?" perhaps i need to really think out my every answer, or perhaps shooting from the hip is best...not sure, but i do know that i need to talk to him on a one on one level, and at that point he will no longer be my friend. or perhaps i could open with something like " you and i are friends, however in a few seconds i expect that you wont be" or " you and i are friends, and i dont want to rune that friendship and i hope that we can remain friends after i tell you want i need to tell you. Im in love with your daughter..." and then continue with the reasons and stuff??? what do you think? i hate keeping secrets like this...its really eating me up...what do you think i should do?

I have to disagree with you SLBG, if this statement were true none of us would have a wife, g-friend etc.... "Its only my opinion but I think if you start a relationship with a girl who already has a boyfriend there will always be a doubt in your mind that she will be unfaithful again. " In my opinion there is only cheating if there is a stated commentment between two concenting adults. Not to bash but i hear this my bf/gf is cheating one me...no one is worth trying to hold on to...if they want to be with you, the will...that simple, but back to the topic at hand. you have to be very carefull when alcohol is involed in meeting a partner/potential partner. The alcohol will lower their judgements and allow the to say/do things that they might not normally do. I would like to know if she has called you or not...you said that you left your number right...well if she has not called you then it prob was just the alcohol...and i would leave it at that....on the other hand, if she has called you then she must like you...if she likes you, then ask her out...and go on a date with out alcohol involvment...and see what happeneds.... best of luck

I have a lot of advice for you about this situtation. There is nothing wrong with making a fool out of your self, i know that in school presures are great. But let me say it this way... Great risk in life give great rewards, and love is one of the greatest risk of all. Love makes fools out of everyone, you cant avoid it. Im 31 years old, and i have seen the world, litteraly. The best thing that you can do is seaze the moment and tell her. From your side it looks like she is interest in you, so dont be a putz...ask her out...ask her to have luch with you...just ask her. If you dont you will wonder for the rest of your life (the dreaded) What IF? question...and trust me its better that you suffer a fool for a week than wonder what if for a life time... this is my advice for you....good luck and if she does leave her BF for you, and her BF gets mad at you and wants to fight you or something...dont, you'll win more points with her if you dont fight her X.

Hello all, I found this site while looking on the web for advice is this tricky area. Im 31 yrs old, and i have found myself in love with an 18 year old. Now go give some background on this situtation... it started about 1 year ago, i meet this nice young lady at a banquet, I've known her parents for some time too, but never really paid attention to there daughter. but she was 17 then and i started talking to her because there was no one else around to talk to. over the course of the year, we chatted on line, she would phone me and we would talk...etc. she started droping suttle hints that she liked me...and at first i said that the age difference is just to great, and while i really liked her, i said no...just friends. She agreed with it and we talked more and more... and the other people started to ask me about "us"...and i would say no were just friends....but we continued to talk, and finally i realized that i could not stop thinking about her. She was in my head all the time...and then i noticed that she was really coming on to me, just the way she was talking etc. and again i said no...to much age diff. but there is just something about her. Now one of my questoins is how much age diff is to much, because the way i feel about her i have NEVER felt before...honestly...and i was once engaged to be married! the other thing that i have a question on is: she still lives at home and doesnt want to disapoint her parents to badly, and the disaprove of us having a relationship. Honestly, im not 20, and dont get me wrong, sex is great...(and no i have not had sex with her) but thats not all that im looking for (hell anyone can just have sex) im looking for more. Sure there has to be a physical connection, and yes there is...but there is also a very stong mental connection with her too...we like the same things, we get along great, we finish each others sentences...etc. How could i talk to her dad and let him and his wife know how i feel about their daughter? what can i say to convience him that im not there to take advantage of her. I absolutely love just spending time with her...and right now we are "sneeking" around her parents so we can see each other, and i hate that. but its the only way that i can see her. Now just so you know...I have known her dad for 4 years, and we do website designs together...and to date he has menchioned nothing to me about this...I have asked her what she wants, and she wants to be with me. now i look at the worldly experences that i have had, and she has not...and i think could it work...I really believe in that there is a perfect match for everyone...and that your life will present this person to you. I honestly feel that she is it...i have never had feelings like this. Honestly it makes me very happy to see her happy...and before i started seeing her i never cared about that it was all about me and my happiness...I really only have had 3 g-friends in my life because i am picky...and she is not what i would have chose for me to be involved with...really way off my type. she is pretty, but i alway found my self actracted to blonde blue eye women...she is brunett (cant spell) and brown eye...but i find my self captivated by her physical prauless (ok im babbling somewhat) she has "awaken" me. I feel more alive with her then with out. the sun is brighter, the nights have more stars; but what to do...I know that my feelings for her are not of lust...but i truly love this girl...please help with any advice that you can...Im not one to just jump in...i like to think things through somewhat.... sincerely, luv struck and confused