MC

You make some valid points. This is a very tricky situation for me. She is the one who brought up having sex. Makes me wonder whether she still has feelings for me or whether it's just about the pleasure of sex. I don't think I am strong enough to resist having sex with her if she wants to. After all, I still love her. I'm wondering whether not doing it might just send her further away. Perhaps I can do it and not mention anything about getting back together or loving her. Just tell her how great she still is. Shouldn't I just play the friendship game, treat her nice, not mention her new guy, act like I have a great future ahead of me and a great life, always act positive, don't ask her to get back together with me, create a great impression of myself to her, don't tell her that I've changed but let her see it herself, and so on? How about letting her contact me more than I contact her. I'm not giving up yet.

She left me about ten days ago and started seeing a new guy immediately. We spoke this morning (on the phone) and I asked her whether she ever thinks about me. She said yes, and that since we had been together for 6 years, she obviously hadn't forgotten about me. She wants us to be friends. She has called and emailed. Lately, she spoke about coming to get the rest of her stuff (very few) by my place. The main point here is that she said that it looks like she may end up having sex with me, although she is seeing this new guy. She called it cheating on her new guy. She said that she would be visiting me in two days. If she does I'm sure that we will have sex. This is a girl I want to get back together with. The reason she left in the first place has to do with me not treating her right towards the end of our relationship. So I don't totally blame her. Anyway since she left, I have gone through the begging and pleading, no contact for a few days, friendship and everything you can think of. Should I have sex with her? I think I should. Perhaps it would be a great way to get back at this guy who now thinks that he is in control because he has my girl. Although the guy wouldn't know. But would having sex with her bring back (on her part) the old great feelings of our love life? Would it help? What should I do to get her back? One more thing. She even wants to borrow one of my suitcases to go on a two day trip. This is really puzzling to me. It seems she really wants a friendship. I really don't know what she wants. Can somebody help me? Do you think that she still has feelings for me? Do I stand a chance of getting her back?

She called me yesterday and I asked her very politely why she calls me. She said that she was simply calling as a friend. There was also a short chuckle from her before she answered. I don't know if my question surprised her. About 30 minutes later, I called her and told her that my intention is not to get her upset, but I think it would be better if she calls me when she has a better reason. I told her that people don't suddenly become friends after a 6 year relationship. I tried to be as polite as possible. Because of this, I know that it will take more time for her to call me than if I hadn't said anything. Or will she ever call? My question is: Did I do something wrong? (Even if I don't take her back, I want her to ask that we get back together, at some point.)

I'm thinking that it's probably the so called new guy who made it so easy for her to leave. We had been having a lot of arguments. A month ago I told her that it was over but after a few hours I changed my mind and apologised. I had been ignoring her lately so I should take blame also. Anyway, time will tell.

About the two days thing... She told me that the guy had been asking her out for a while now, but she kept on telling him that she was commited to me and wasn't willing to be with him. I didn't ask too many questions so as to find out more. When she calls again, (if she does)... I believe she will... I'm going to ask her what are her reasons for calling, as some of you suggested, in a very polite manner. As for begging and pleading, I have made up my mind not to do that and I'm fully confident that I won't. When I picture the idiot that I was making out of myself by pleading to her, I don't see how I could do this again. Thanks to the advice I've read here. As far as I'm concerned, I'm already in the driver's seat, simply because of the fact that she has called me five times (including two that I didn't answer this morning) in the last two days, and I'm yet to make a single call. I'm keeping my pride. I'm very hurt but I've noticed that everyday I'm healing, no matter how slow. Crying a little less all the time. Thanks for taking the time to answer. This forum is really helping me. I knew nothing about the no-contact rule before. If I knew, I wouldn't have belittled myself so much to her. I wonder what must be going through her mind now. Perhaps she's thinking the same. Who knows. Tine will tell. I'll keep you posted.

My girl dumped me six days ago. During the time that she was telling me it's over, I was acting uninterested. I either thought she was not really serious or I thought I didn't care. (Looking at it in retrospect, it seems that if at that time I had told her to stay she would have.) She told me two days after the break up that she is seeing a new guy. But she still wants to be friends and has called me a few times. I'm through with all the begging, pleading and acting like a complete desperate idiot. Two days ago I started "no contact". She called me this morning and I only spoke to her for one minute telling her about the success I'm having in my career and how everything looks bright. Then I told her that I had to attend a meeting so she should call me later. It's been close to 8 hours and she hasn't called but I know that eventually she will. My question is what should I do when she calls? Should I just let the phone ring and not pick up? Or should I take her call and just act like I'm fine without her. Does no contact mean not answering her calls or does it only mean not calling her. I'm thinking that I should probably not answer her calls for a few days and let her wonder about me. What do you think? I want her back. We'd been together for 6 years. Help!