missthedays

Just about two months. Was reaching some acceptance, but I'm starting to relapse a bit. For some reason thoughts of her with another guy are popping into my head.

It doesn't hurt to be optimistic, but being hopeful can certainly hold you back. My ex and I were tied at the hip as friends for many years before we dated. When we finally did it was like a nuclear blast, but we were then put into a situation that steadily tore us apart for a year. In my mind I feel like I can pinpoint exactly where we went wrong, but she wouldn't hear any of it. She selfishly strung me a long for several months, leaving me feeling betrayed and abandoned. We haven't spoken for a month now (NC initiated by me), and frankly I don't expect her to reach out to me any time soon. I don't even think she cares. I'm slowly healing, but I'm optimistic that one day we will reconcile. Whether or not we date again, that's another story. I feel that if you keep telling yourself "We WILL be together again" you're only prolonging your healing. I guess one of my flames of optimism comes from a mutual friend of ours who feels that I was the best thing to ever happen to her. It certainly helps take the self-blame away, but in the end I really can't be hopeful.