jujubox

went out with my ex for the second time since we broke up 4 months ago. it was her that broke it off....she was confused bout us and felt something was missing. i maintained no contact for awhile. i know for a fact that she still misses me but still keeping her friendship facade. the first dinner was wonderful....i was happy and so was she....i told her that i'm alright being friend with her (i lied). the second time we went out it was great.....we talked about everything....she opened up to me more than when we were going out. she expressed that sometimes she's not happy cuz she doesn't feel she's doing enough to help people that are less fortunate than her....she feels bad that there are people out there suffering....what can i say....that's why i love her so much cuz her heart is just amazing....basically she's trying to find her purpose in life.....she's an idealist by far. she's in a time of her life that she's doing serious soul searching. anyways....the night was great....we were so close and had so much to talk about....she told me that she didn't realize how much fun we could have and how much we could talk about by being friends....she told me sex just complicates things....when we were going out...we were so into the physical attraction that we ignored everything else. i know she's attracted to me and what i have become after we broke up and yet i feel she likes what we have right now just being friends. tht problem is i need more that that. sometimes she misses what we had and so do i. at the end of the night we hugged for so long.....we didn't let go of each other....i was holding both of her hands not wanting to let let go. she kissed me on the cheek and that was our goodbye. she texted me later to say that she had a great time. we're going to see each other again 3 weeks later after i come back from a trip. i want to tell her that i still want to be with her but at the same time i don't want to pressure her. i feel that the more time i spend with her the closer we're going to be. why is she so adament bout this friendship thing? what is going on in her mind? do u guys think i should just play the friendship role or tell her the next we meet that i want us to be together or nothing at all...cuz i can't take this anymore. do u guys think if i keep on seeing her she is going come around...i mean how can u not fall for someone that u connect so well every time u guys go out?

i trying my best not to read too much of it...but whenever someone says "can i ask you a question" u know it's going to be personal....plus after said that it felt like she was beating around the bush by asking questions like "r u in class", "how's studying going" etc.....i was like that's more than one question...she was like true...then i asked her what is the question....she then told me it's not important....felt like she changed her mind. and why did she even send me a v-day card and then asked me whether or not i received the message....is it that important?

hi everyone......let me make this short.....gf broke up with me back in nov....had no contact for awhile....had dinner with ex.....everything went well...i told her i was going great.....called her after a week...didn't talk for too long....back and forth IM's....mostly i initiated.....kinda sicken of tired of being the initiator so i stopped......then ex started IM me....recently ex IM me asked me if i got her message...i told her no so i asked what's the message....she said she sent me a v-day card....but since i never got it...don't know what exactly she wrote....chatted for awhile..she expressed how she's hating v-day....she then asked if she can ask me a question...i was like ok...but started to ask redundant questions....i was like what's the question..she said it wasn't important....so i was like ok well i have to go. we're supposed to have dinner next week....sure i ask her what exactly the question is. what do u guys think she's thinking.

hi luckystar.....i guess i'll try not to contact her and move on at the same time but i have a question for u...when u said 60 days of no contact...why did u pick that number and what r u planning to do after 60 days if ur ex doesn't call?

thanks people for all those great advice.....luckystar, u always have informative inputs....sfmike, i have followed ur posts and i feel for u cuz i know how painful it is to want something that doesn't want u back. i agree no contact is good but how long should i keep this up.....i thought the more times we hang out the more chances that she's going to realize "hey he's actually fun to be with so maybe i was wrong"....what do u guys think? plus me ex is very stubborn....she has alot of pride....it wil take alot for her to call me....does no contact still work here? i know i have to move on at the same time but some reason i just feel that the more times we see each other the closer we're going to get...what do u guys think?...thanks guys...u guys r great.

hi everyone...i'll try to make this as short as possible. my gf of 9 months broke up wl me 3 months ago. she felt something was missing but i think it was because of our lack of communication...she complained that sometimes we had nothing to say to each other....i didn't think so but it doesn't matter...she did. we had no contact for bout 1 month then i called her up and she told me that she felt that she made the right decision. at that point i gave up on her and told her no contact...she was pretty sad. 1 month later...she texted me happy new year...i was like....ahhh man. few weeks after...she wanted her stuff back so we met up. we had dinner and coffee after just to catch up on things. it felt sooooo great and she looked soooo beautiful....i was like...ahhhh man. it was wonderful...we had so much to say to each other...i even put my arm around her cuz it was cold outside. we joked and laughed...it was great. i was kinda prepared for the dinner....from reading other posts....i realized that i shouldn't beg or plead for her to come back cuz that's only going to drive her away...so i put up a front that i'm happy and have moved on. i told her that if u truly care bout a person..u would let that person go....to try to get her back is selfish....i was lying to her...i really want her back... but she doesn't know that..all she knows is that i'm happy and everything is ok. i didn't show my weakness..i was very confident. she even said i talked more than before when we were together. she even asked me if was interested in anyone. i took her home and hugged and she told me to call her whenever i need her. now....i'm just a basketcase. i didn't realize how much i want her til i saw her that night....ahhh man. now i have this hope that if i play it right...we might just be back together....is this false hope?......am i being stupid? i feel that if we just hang out more she might fall for me again...is this possible? when we broke up....she told me that she still loves me but it was just not working out. she's happy that we could talk. so.....do u think if i just be patient and not contact her for awhile so she can miss me and won't feel suffocated so she can be more at ease. then contact her later....maybe like 2 weeks....and ask her to hang out. do u guys think that's the best way or should i just forget bout her and move on and not have any hope. tell me what u guys think and what i should do cuz i'm sooooo lost...ahhhh man