jeffybabe

I'm 36 been married 12 years... feels longer. 3 kids. I sort of understand.... My situation is similar yet different. I do everything in this houes. Well... find my post titled "How Do I Know?" and then you might see what's happening here. I love her, but it's not like It was. She is becoming a friend... not staying a lover and companion. I have just decided it's time for ME!!!!! I haven't made any decisions either way but I am going to do something about this. THIS IS ALL ABOUT ME AND HOW I FEEL AND WHAT I WANT. Sound selfish....Darn right!! I've given about all I can here, but we'll see. Now if I just knew how to approach the other girl and talk about it. WORRY ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT! Feel free to contact me

Gee... awful lot of viewers... no one else has any input? Perhaps I should expand this and give you another view of things... I cook, I clean, I wake the kids up, take them to school, pick them up, help with homework, Work in between all that. She does laundry.... well folds it after I wash it, but only if I nag. I have to be the bad guy and do the disiplining of the kids. She does most of the book keeping, not because I can't, but she likes to and is good at it. She works too... I have to wake her up usually. She comes home to supper. And sits in her chat room. That's her world. I have been thru this before...When I finally complain about it... She'll stop and be better for about a month, maybe 2, and the crap starts again.... She's acts more like one of the kids than a partner. For gods sake on her days off - does she do the wash or make a meal?? No...shes on the computer, out with frineds or at her moms. I am getting sick of that scenario too. Been this way for about 6 years. The kids are developing her bad habits and not my good ones. They she her sit around so they do....DAD WILL TAKE CARE OF STUFF. See where I'm coming from? Cuz I sure don't know where I'm going any more..... Also I wasn't asking for anyone to tell me to go for it.... I know this person. I like this person, but I want to figure out where she may be at.... I suppose I'll just have to ask. I was trying to read the signals, but maybe that's the wrong way to do this....I'f I'm going to mess up my whole world, I'm gonna have a damn good reason to do it....and so far I haven't found that. Maybe I never will, but I feel I owe it to myself to find out. I welcome comments and respect all viewpoints. This whole thing isn't easy for me. I could just forget it all and go on with my regular life.... BUT I'M NOT HAPPY Everyone around me seems to be, all but me. Don't I deserve something? Ash... I'm 36

I am married, with 3 kids. Been married 12 years. Not a bad relationship, I love my kids, I care about my wife, but something is missing. Felt like that for a couple years now. Anyway.... on with the story. This is long in order to clarify the situation 2 nights ago I went to a "co-worker" happy hour party. One of my co- workers who I have a good professional relationship with showed up. I have had a soft spot for her for about 4 years now. She is always nice to me and I do likewise. At this party we just started the usual casual conversation, but somehow it was different. I don't go out much but she is a very popular person and goes out quite a bit. She is not married but has 3 kids also and a boyfriend she's been with for a long time but he is in the military. Anyway started with playing darts with her and others. The night just kinda went on like that. She bought me pizza I was hungry but didn't ask for her to get me anything. In the gereral tone of things,given our current relationship, I commented that I didn't care for onions.... she picked them off, smiled and just stared into my eyes!!! As the night went on we talked more and just the gereral conversation, but she kept lightly touching me, commenting about my eyes, smiling and staring into my eyes. Later she wanted to know if I wanted to go to a different bar with different music. We did. SHE KNEW ALMOST EVERYONE THERE!!!LOL. After about an hour I stated that I should prolly go home. I was tired and had quite a bit to drink. I have no idea how much she drank, but she seemed quite sensible yet. She walked with me to the parking lot. Her car was one way and mine was the other, but she kinda lead the way to mine. We sorta stood there a minute, kinda like 2 kids who like each other but put their heads down and scuff at the ground with their feet. I looked at her and she at me. She had this great big smile. All I could say was "What?" "Nothing" was her reply. We just stared at each other for about 15 seconds. My head was spinning, but not from the drinks... although I was bolder than I've ever been. I reached to her chin and pulled her and kissed her. She backed away, looked and then kissed me. A bit of passion there. Including arms around each other. She pulled away and said " You are SO married." and just looked at me. I have no idea what response she was looking for so I just said " Yes I am married" She kissed me again about like before, pulled away, said it again and walked to her car. Since she lives a block away, I followed her home. I was worried that she was mad. So I pulled up and asked. "Not at all" Again we sat there and talked for 10 minutes about her car troubles. She then asked me if I was mad. To which I said not at all. She pulled on my chin and we kissed for about 30 second. Then it was "good night, see ya tomorrow." The next day, there was no mention of it. Just the usualy work stuff. I was an emotional wreck but dealt with it and kept my opinions and feelings quiet. The only thing different was a little more eye contact when I did see her. How do I read her? Is there a chance or am I the idiot for even feeling this way. I feel like I have a childhood crush again... butterflies when I see her, thinking about her alot, even writing this,etc.... Please, I need advice and maybe a therapist. Thanks. If your going to just rip on me for even doing this, please don't bother... I don't need a lecture or I wouldn't have come here. I need true opinions on the situation. I REALLY LIKE HER