bitebenot
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LOXXT...heres my opinion..take it or leave it..ill be honest and to the point ! You are digging your own grave here ! Deeper and deeper you go ! He wont walk away from you,he'll walk over you ! Nothing will work until you learn to let him go ! The fact that hes going away for a while doesnt mean he will get over his new gf or dump her ! He might just as well forget you instead of her ! Why should he stress ? Hes got two women clinging to him ! The way its going now the novelty will win over you and she will thank you for it ! From now on im sure you know what to do ! Now you are back to square one ! Get rid of the monky on your back and let go of him ! He knows how desperate you are and he will use it to his own advantage !
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Wisdom... G.Bernard Shaw stated " We are made wise not by the recollection of our past,but by the responsability for our future ! /Take responsability for your own future because no one else can be held responsible for improving your life.It is yours and nothing will change unless you take the lead ! /Develop a clear vision of your future.Eliminate vague wishes and have specific goals.Remember you cant manifest what you cant see. /Take action,be bold and create your destiny with your own hands.You might read books and listen to others,but nothing will change until you react. I guess we all need this to overcome a broken heart.
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Go NC and dont tell him anything at all.Desappear from him ! As you can see,communicating with the ex is never good unless they crawl back ! Dont feel bad,emotions are sometimes so strong that we cant help ourselves.Just learn from your mistakes and dont repeat them.Hang on,you can do it ! Dont forget,the flesh is weak but so is the mind sometimes.
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Wow ! Doing a lot better already ! You see,we tend to only think of the good parts of the relationship after a break-up and forget the darker side.Its very good that you came up with this feedback on your own,it will help you to move on way faster.You still will have to deal with the ups and down but you know how to resolve them now.So in a way, it was better for this disruption to happen now instead of 5 years later with a child on your lap ! Others will learn from your conclusion," excellent " ! Now be proud of your achievements in such a short period ! Happyness aint far away.
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God helps those who help themselves first ! He also said that nothing will happen to us that is not common to others and will always leave a door open. Sometimes expectations,dreams and attachments are to be buried deeply.He left you behind twice and for long terms.Forgive him but dont forget.Give your love to someone who will deserve it and be disposed to return it. How many good years do you have left ? Can you truly afford to lose more time ? You have one solution,DIVORCE HIM ! Dont wait anymore,you did your best. When i mentioned the other half that was also for you.Learn to become whole again. Many men are waiting in line to meet you. So get out of your stagnation and tribulation and go forward ! God gave us free will,that applies to your ex hubby also.. i doubt He would intervene. Right now what your future will be depends only on your determination to solve this agonizing condition once and for all !
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I know about the reading,i was in the same position.Use your abilities to your advantage.Watching movies will help.Anything that will give you a break about him will do you good. Your doing better already,keep it up and smile a litle. Use the mirror to see that wonderful person looking at you !
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Oh crap...that made me laugh..good one ! Dont compare yourself to her ! We are unique so dont put yourself down because of the way she looks ! She might be a miserable b1tch..he doesnt know her yet..let him find out ! Yes, the fact that you gave him a time limit wasnt good..you gave him your blessings actually But he doesnt know how much time you need ! One thing,dont snoop on him or her,never ! Now you have to deal with her too by having her picture in your mind ! Remove him (or her) from your pc.Any pictures or anything else that reminds you of him..put them away. Remove him from FB..just leave him the email and phone number. Think of the past vacations,old bf..anything that will work.At bedtime listen to a radio with a talk show,no music ! Love who you are no matter what.He was with you before so you were his type ! By the way i love cats,had one for twelve years before he died.I can tell you are sensitive and im sure you are a great person,so dont worry about the other one..she might be well behind you in qualities ! Trust me,you will do just fine tomorrow and the following days. Come her daily if you need it,we will help you the best we can.Now go to bed and enjoy your rest and replenish your energy .
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You will do fine at work,dont worry about that. From the moment you stopped contacting him he was wondering why. But hell, it doesnt matter what he thinks ! You keep forgetting yourself here ! You already know that the relationship wasnt special. When a break-up happens we always think of the good moments and forget the negative side of it... he will do too ! The period apart from you will tend to make him reflect on the good of the relation he had with you. He might miss you,feel nostalgic...but then even that might not bring him back ! No one can tell how he will react. Ask yourself this..if he comes back in a week, would you be ready ? Would you be able to forgive him to dump you for another women ? Or the fact he had sex with her ? Can you seriously overcome those ostacles ? Think about it. Dont put yourself on a life support because hes gone ! Life will go on with or whitout him. By the way, you are not going crazy,its just another bad segment of your life. Its not your first break-up,this one shouldnt be different. Sometimes we have to let them go for them to come back. Being single for a while can be pleasant..enjoy it !
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At day two you're still in a state of panic and it will control all your emotions for the next two weeks ! Everyone at ENA knows that feeling very well,including me ! What is important now its you,NOT HIM ! Dont worry for him,hes doing just fine for now.Right now you need to take control of the negatives that will destroy you if you dont.Dont forget to eat even if you dont feel you need it ! Myself i lost 25 pounds and some was muscles...im working so hard at the gym to regain what i have lost.I speak by experience.Gosh do i know how you feel ! I was such a mess,even had to push myself just to take a shower or shave ! After long walks and the help i got here (ENA) i started to reflect on myself and realised that i was more important than the one who ditched me ! Day by day you will climb the ladder to finally reach the top. Do all you can to not think about this mess,nothing new will arise by analysing the situation a million times.Dont miss work because of this, working will help you keep your mind away from him.Go out as often as you can...stay away a few days with family or friends if you can.Dont be alone for long terms.Make plans for the next few weekends,go out and have fun ! Again,if he calls dont answer..same for emails. come here first before you take a decision. Crying is good for you,no problem..i did for the first week just like a newborn baby.Get you feet on that first rung of the ladder and start climbing ! You will come out a stronger and better women after this misfortune.All will not be lost *** Dont worry,he wont forget you !
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You have desappeared remember ? ? So, its no no no no no NO
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ANON333.. This challenge here is for a month...but 30 days wont cut it. Also there is nothing more you can tell him that he doesnt already knows.Whatever you do, dont contact him even 3 months later ! Imagine for a moment that you decide to communicate with him while hes on Mount Everest with his new flame ! What would be his reaction ? Timing could be way off the chart. In this type of a situation,its up to the dumper to amend..the other way is a total zero ! If he gives a sign of life later on then you will know that hes sincere. Assuming that he wants to come back to you, its not that simple ! Oh no it aint ! He will have to win you back the hard way..he just cant decide to say " hi its me " and take him with open arms ! If you let him into your life to quickly he wont stay ! If he chases you for a good month or even more he will stick around ! Love,attraction,passion and a good communication keeps couples together. compatibility is something to seriously analyse. Lots to work on after a disruption serious as this one(break-up + rebound). Cant blame just one person after a break-up. It takes two to tango !
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Been there done that.You did ok,you gave your best shot.Its normal to feel that way when you lose the other-half,you become incomplete.But it will change that you can take to the bank.Now its about taking care of yourself and stay busy as much as you can.Friends,family and ena to help you.Of course you know to not try to contact him anymore.Give him the space and see what arises in the next few months.Let him enjoy his novelty,the honeymoon wont be forever.Desappear from him,its for your own health.Spend your energy on yourself and try to stay positive.He left and came back,so hes not so sure of his decision.In the next few weeks your vision of your relationship will change because you will see more clearly. In two months you will enjoy your freedom again.Become the women you were before you met him and start fresh.Move on and dont wait ! If he comes back,fine...if not it wont be the end of the world ! Get ready for the summertime and a new love to lift you up your feet ! Yes life does change and sometimes for its for the best.
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I agree with you,ignorance is a bliss ! The less we know the better it is. Give yourself another month and you wont even care anymore ! Nice going by the way !
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Dont be surprised if he shows up again.At that point you will be able to discard him and tell him to crawl back under his rock.Its true when they say the timing is always off when the ex wants to come back.If he does,take your time and enjoy every minute of it !
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Relax..patience is a virtue ! Think of what the future may bring !!!
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Excellent ! You did the right thing by not answering !
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She expects a reaction from you,keep ignoring her ! What she says is meaningless.
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You still love her..so go for it.Take it very slowly.Many issues to work on,the major one will be trust.You will have to start on a new relationship and forget the past..it will be hard but not impossible. A couple in love can overcome any obstacles if they are serious about it.Be aware and prepared in case it doesnt work out.Sometimes a relationship is better the second time around.
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Ahhh... Anon12,still stucked in the same position huh ? A dog wont chase a parked car ! She might be alone again but it doesnt mean she will go back to you ! Are you a masochist or what ? Move on man and forget her ! Let her go ! Your torturing me ! At your young age,go and experience more love stories ! Move your f.... a... Your lucky you arent my brother,i would shake your cage on a daily basis.Im hard on you,you deserve it.Waiting for her wont make her come back.Show you dont care and get another chick ! Take her back and she WILL break you heart again.Damn....you really are in her pocket ! She got you by the b.... Be a man and drop the obnoxious weirdo.Send her this message: Stay out of my life,i got a new gf,to me now your just nothing but a pain in the a...// Then change your email or remove/delete her from it.Ill bet you she will start chasing you after.That my friend its reverse psychology.
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Just forget what you did,no big deal really.If he sends you a message dont answer back.
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Good thinking,talking to other men is not bad for you.If you find someone you like,make sure he doesnt carry any baggages from an ex.! If your ex shows up while you have another bf,then you are the one who will decide,not him ! Just dont ever forget hes the one who left you.Time for you to work on your self esteem and feeling attractive again.You will make it,you got my word on that.Give yourself some time to find your own personality again,regaining control of your mind and soul..God is with you.Take care.
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After four months and a half i came to this conclusion today.Its valentines day...shes with another man.If she thinks im not good enough for her,well i think im too good for her ! She doesnt deserve me,im a good man and i know it.She told me days after the split that she was taking a chance,i hope she really missed her shot on that one.I tried twice,will never chase her again ever.I can comprehend much more now,i can see clearly.My hearth agrees with my mind for the first time since the break-up.I am that i am,that she liked it or not,tough luck for her! Life whitout her aint the end but a new beginning.Shes gone and im back.No way i would take her back because to me shes a used good and not worth any efforts to have or keep.Bye bye ex !
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If praying helps you keep doing it.Right now your priority is you and your son. Its true when you say you just cant forget someone after seven years.In my case i was with my ex for 5 years.Only time will take care of your pain.Dont speak to him more then you have too,keep the talks about your son and nothing more.Your friends arent very supportive when you need them the most,how sad ! Time to change your life around and start fresh.Now you think you wont get better but you will,i know that pretty well ! I was a mess myself,it was a living hell but after four months i do much better.Give yourself some time and you will improve a lot ! You deserve better than your ex and you will find the love of your life when your ready to do so.At this time stay busy and do things you enjoy,we are here to support you !
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EX SWEET,dont communicate with him because you will give him all the power you got left.Call a friend instead or go out and have fun.Never be alone to long while your still vunerable.Give him time to reflect about the situation.Let him miss you by staying away,you can do it !
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Honestly,to me anyhow it was 60..but thats me ! Once i read an article that says its about 2 months to every year the relationship lasted.For me it would mean 10 months but i think 7 or 8 will be fine to be completely healed.Total NC.
