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Robert013

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  1. Robert013
    She just tried to call me again I ignored it. Her story for needing the air mattress keeps changing. First it was for her Mother's house then it was for her brother's house. Now it is for a different brother. In the last voicemail she said "will you please just call me." I forgot to mention this in my last post. She did not leave a voicemail this time, but she did send a text right after the attempt to call. It said "will you please just answer me about the air matress? It is for name and name." Her brother and his girlfriend. This is the point of no contact right to ignore them so we can heal? If i start giving in to every thing she wants or needs it will just be something else in a week or two. Everytime I do give in I just feel bad about it later. I do not think that this is about an air matress at all. She didn't even start asking for it until I ignored another text message. I think it is actually starting to hit her that I am seriouse about what I asked for witch was NC. This was one of the only weekends I did not send her needy text messages. Anyhow why is it so urgent? Thanksgiving is 2.5 weeks away.
  2. Robert013
    She just tried to call this morning. I ignored it, but I did listen to her voicemail she left. She wants an air matress that is at my house for thanksgiving. She said people are going to book hotels if she doesn't get it. I asked her not to contact me about anything on the 1st, that it is over we have exchanged all of our valuble stuff and that is that. We bought the $30 dollar air mattress together. If people were willing to get a hotel room then why can't they just buy an air mattress it is cheaper? My sons air hockey table is at her fathers house I am letting that go so I don't have to talk to her or see her. She said that poeple will have to sleep on the floor if she does not get it. She is being a little dramatic about this whole thing. She can afford to buy a new air matress. I don't care about it but I am sick of this whole exchange thing. I consider it a form of contact. When I go drop something off at her Fathers house after she has asked me to in a voicemail then she was able to contact me and get me to do something for her. I am not doing it unless it is her rabbit that she is asking for. My son likes it, but even he is getting sick of cleaning up after it. That would be worth the contact. lol
  3. Robert013
    Day 10 Yesterday was hard to get through. Sunday morning I could not get it out of my head like I usually do. I think it was because I didn't have any plans. Over all it is getting easier every day. It has been almost two months since we broke up. I am starting to think about reconciliation less and less. I know we are not getting back together but I still think about it every now and then. I just try not to dwell on it and tell myself that we are not getting back together over and over. The first four weeks were brutal. I think it was because of all the lies she told me in order to remain in limited contact. I see now how selfish she was being. She was telling me lies so that we would remain friends and she could see my son. A friendship can not be based on lies you have to be honest with your friends just like you have to be honest with a SO. She lied to my 8 year old son and I in person while we were out for Pizza. I do not want that type of person around my son. until she admitts it and apologizes she will not see my son and we will not be friends. I am deffinately starting to see what was wrong with our relationship. She could never admitt to being wrong. She could not comunicate like an adult. Running away from a argument instead of talking through the issue is not healthy. She did many hurtfull things to my son and I during the relationship also. Now it is not all one sided. I admitt that sometimes I was hard to get along with, and sometimes I was a bit harsh to her. I think this came from the lack of comunication. She would never talk about our problems in order to solve them. So I think all of the hurtfull things I did originated from that. Our relationship failed because we could not comunicate plain and simple. I will not make these mistakes again in the future.
  4. Robert013
    Day 7 Thanks thedude27 she might just be a bunny boiler. lol. I did ignore her and have chose not to do anything. She doesn't need the air mattress that bad. It is just another reason for her to make me contact her. It is not worth it to possibly break no contact or something worse. She sent me another text message last night. This one said " I am not trying to force you to contact me. I just need you to tell me the answers to the questions I asked earlier." I ignored it of course. When you disect the message it contradicts itself. She is not forcing me to contact her, but I have to give her the answers. There is no way for me to possibly give her the answers without some form of contact with her. All of her messages are the same rude and selfish. It is always about her. I need . I want . Then she will say something mean to me most of the time. Even when I am kind and compasionate. Being angry, mean, and rude to an ex does not prove that you are over them. When you can truly wish them the best, truly hope that they are happy, and there actions have no effect on your emotional wellbeing that is when you are over them. I can't wait.
  5. Robert013
    I just received a call during her lunch hour. I ignored it, but she left a voicemail. Now aparently I have something else of hers that she needs. She say's I have a airmatress that she bought and she needs it for her mothers apartment for thankgiving and christmas. Then she also said to give her a call to let her know if she needs to get my son a christmas present because she needs to know so she can get one. I am sick of this crap. I paid for the $30 airmatress. How freaking bad does she really need it? Comeon this is real urgent. Thankgiving is almost amonth away and christmas is two months away. I am not getting baited in to this again. I am ignoring her. She can go get another airmatress they are only $30. She left her freaking rabbit for me to take care of why doesn't she come and get that? She threatened to come and take her rabbit and I said great because my son and I are sick of cleaning up after it. She even set up a time and day to come and get it then of course never showed up. I am so sick of this what are my options here? I do not want to see her or break no contact?
  6. Robert013
  7. Robert013
    Thanks thedude27 it is nice to know that they will eventually go away. She just sent me a text message though. She asked " Do I need to get a present for your son this year?" I am ignoring it of course. I made it pretty clear last week that I needed her to let me go and that I need a complete break so that I could do the same. Why in the hell would she ask that so soon? I think she is just trying to think of reasons to contact me. It can only mean a few things. like superdave71 said 1.) She still loves my son and I but is not in love with me. 2.) She wants my son and I in her life still as friends because she cares, even though I am not good enouph to date. She is with another guy. I am not going to be number 2. HELL NO! As superdave71 said the day we broke up her membership to my son and I was revoked.
  8. Robert013
    I think you are setting yourself up for more pain. The whole point is to let go and heal first. You are not letting go or healing. He didn't respond because as soon as you responded to his text message he knows you are still there. You need to not be there. Make him get the point. Do not talk about the relationship. Do not tell him you need a break again. If you have told him not to contact you then he already knows you need a break. Focus on yourself and not the past.
  9. Robert013
    Day 6 My nights are so easy to get through this I have filled my schedule. Working out, reading, writing, even have been trying meditation to clear my head. Then I go to sleep and I will have yet to go a whole night without dreaming of her. The one last night was the worst I woke up and realized it was a dream and I was so disapointed. It sucks! Then the mornings are so touph because of the dreams. I have to start all over again getting my head on straight every day. I do not start feeling good until around noon. I am going to accept this and just deal with the mornings. I hope I can sleep through the week without a single dream of her soon. When this happens I know that I have moved on physical and mentally. The one good thing that has happened is her outburst and "crazy" actiions last Saturday. This has made it easy for me to take her off of the pedastal. Now I know why all the needy, selfish stuff pushes people away.
  10. Robert013
    Day 5 I had a good night last night. I went to the gym and lifted, and did cardio for about an hour and a half in total. This is what really releives my stress and anxiety. Then I went out with some friends for a few hours. I only had a couple drinks then switched to ice water for the rest of the night. I am limiting the my alcohol intake at one time. I have to be sober to get through this mess. Every time I have had one to many I would try to contact her. Being out with friends made the night go by without a problem. I was hanging out with one of her best girlfriends who is one of my best friends wife also last night. She invited me to go out of town for a night with her and visit a friend. I agreed to be the DD and we were going to go out to all the clubs. They say the best way to get over an ex is to live well, so that is what I am going to do. She said she is sick of the whole situation because we both are close with them. She is not happy with my ex. for jumping into this new relationship so soon. Niether her or her husband can stand the guy. He is not allowed at there house anymore. I told her that I am moving on without my ex. That is when she invited me to get out of town with her.
  11. Robert013
    Day 4 I am starting to feel much better about this. I know that I am only on day 4, but I have gone several weeks with very limited contact. After that episode in my parking lot with her on Saturday I am looking at her in a totally different way. I am glad it happened no matter how crazy it was. The mornings are still a bit touph until I get here to post, but even they are getting easier. I did not walk around feeling like there was something on my back yesterday. Something has changed, i think I am letting go and have finally accepted that we will and should not get back together. To thedude27. Yes, she is something alright. CRAZY! Thanks I did have a great time at the party. Hung out with college friends I have not visited with in over 6 months, and also my sister was there. It was a great time. I think you are right about her finally realizing that she has destroyed her life, and I am sure she is starting to feel something now. She didn't get her way like she always did in the past. She also hasn't visited or talked to my son in over 3 weeks.
  12. Robert013
    I agree I need to get away from her and quickly. I have sent her drunken texts early on after the breakup. Asking about the new "rebound" she hooked up with less than a week after we split from our 7 years together. I have never threatened him or her although revenge has crossed my mind but it was never violent. She has taken this to whole new level and I will back waaaay off and disapear. I know she wouldn't hurt my son, but she has destroyed my stuff before, and has been violent torwards me before. This whole thing is makiing it much easier on my behalf to look at the relationship as a whole. She has always been detructive torwards me and I would just let that crap go. Well now it will be easier to let her go after this crazy act of selfishness and voilence. I will not let her caotic way's affect me any more her new "rebound" gets to deal with that s*** good luck.
  13. Robert013
    Back to day 3 She called me on Saturday morning and left a message that threatened me and also said she was coming over. I go outside and there she is in her car right next to my jeep. She didn't want me to be able to go to a Halloween party out of town if she couldn't go. She said she was going to make sure I could not go. She saw me walking torward my car and then proceeds to come at me with her car. I had to jump out of the way or she would have hit me. She then stops rolls down her window and starts screaming like a crazy person. I said that I had to leave for the party now and that was it. This really made her even more mad. I thought she was going to try to destroy my vehicle so that I could not go. I need to stay NC before she tries to hurt my son or I. She is out of control, and has threatened my life. She also made an aggressive action with her vehicle that makes me believe she is not kidding.
  14. Robert013
    She just text messaged me. She wants me to email her pictures of my son in his halloween costume. What in the hell! We break up she starts screwing another dude in less than a week and lies about it for 6 weeks. Tells me to kill myself in a text message last week. I mean really now. We broke up that means you also broke up with my son. You do not get the best of both worlds. She has her cake and wants to eat it to. **** no. This one is easy to ignore.
  15. Robert013
    Day 7 Well tonight is going to be a challenge. I am going to a Halloween party at what used to be our favorite bar with a bunch of friends. I have heard last night from friends that she is going to be there with her new fling. I am going anyway. I am going to not drink much and keep my distance. I will not try to talk to her ar even get close to her. I have asked all of the people I am going with to support me on this. I will not confront her new rebound like I have done once already, and I will act normal like she does not affect me anymore. I am not going to let her control my life anymore. I am not going to miss out on enjoying myself on Halloween just because she might be somewhere. I am an adult I am going through this on my own with the help of friends of course I can do this. I am strong. I will not give her the satisfaction. Wish me luck all. She on the other hand has lied to and manipulated me ever since the breakup. She has alienated all of her old friends besides one or two. She has even called her bestfriends husband a stupid idiot because he does not like her new rebound. He did not like him before we broke up. She is not doing this on her own and is using a bandaid (rebound guy) to hide behind. She is weak.
  16. Robert013
    Day 6 I was hanging out with a friend last night and this made it easier to fight the urge. She said that I shouldn't have talked to her from the beginning and she told me so in the beginning. She said that she has done the same thing as my ex. She has wanted to keep me on a leash in case her other thing didn't work out. i feel so dumb for staying in very limited contact for 5 weeks. I went 8 day's no contact during that 5 weeks and all the other times it was once or twice a week. She said that she is just hiding everything behind this bandaid of a guy. She said if I leave her alone then she will start to feel. Right now she doesn't think that she lost anything. Once she realizes that she has lost something then she will start to show emotion and it will effect her new relationship. She said the only way to get through these things is to go through it on your own. She is proud of me for that. She said my ex. of 7 years will never totally get over it unless she spends time on her own. She said it happened to her and when the rebound was over it was just like breaking up with her ex. all over again. This is convincing me that I am doing the right thing by working through this on my own. You cannot bottle these things up nore can you try to hide them behind a new rushed relationship (bandaid). This is my time. My time to recover. My time to shine once again. Now I just need to figure out how to let go?
  17. Robert013
    Day 5 I keep waking up during the night because of dreams. I will wake up and my heart will be racing and I will have to calm myself down before I can fall back to sleep. My dreams are becoming so weird. Some of them are her and I from the past but are dealing with the new issue. Some seem to be in the future but we seem happy and fine. Some are okay but some are real bad. It really does suck. I can try to control my thoughts when I am awake, but I have no control over my dreams. I want to let go so darn bad. It has been 6 weeks since we broke up with little contact. I just want to get her out of my head. I started doing the what if's last night without realizing it. After about 15 minutes I asked myself what the heck are you doing? I need to let go!
  18. Robert013
    Day 4 I didn't sleep well last night to many dreams that woke me up. It is happening alot lately. I hope I start sleeping better soon. I did all the things I usually do last night. I went to the gym, I cleaned my apartment for a little bit. I read a couple chapters in my book, and I wrote in a journal. I was trying to stay busy. This really was not working last night. What did work was I printed of some of superdave71 threads. The a common sense look at no contact thread. It helped to calm me down. I also printed off the 40 reasons for no contact thread sorry don't remember the author. This also helps. It is good to know and be reashured why we are doing the things that we do. It is for the better. I believe that most people on here start NC in hopes of reconciliation. As they progress and more time passes they start to change there view of reconciliation and turn it more torwards a healing process. This is what I am going for right now I want to heal, but reconciliation is still fresh in my mind. I need to surpress these thoughts and replace them with thoughts that I have control over.
  19. Robert013
    My ex just sent me an e-mail saying she is concerned about my behavoir. She said one minute you are happy and the next you are mad, sad, jealous, etc. You name it i have had so many emotions running through me this past month. She say's your mood changes so rapidlly that she thinks I have a mental disorder. She said there is no way this is do to a broken heart. I ignored her. I do not have to explain myself to her all I have to do is ignore her and not give her the pleasure of an explanation. What good can come of saying yes it is because I love you and you ripped my heart out? Nothing so I am letting it go. It is my broken heart she is with another dude it is making me go crazy. I go up and down all day long. i hope the ups start lasting longer. I told her that I needed space. Why does she insist on doing this?
  20. Robert013
    Day 3 She has been text messaging me. She is saying really mean things. Things like she can't believe she ever gave me the time of day. I am embarrased that I was ever with you. and she also told me to kill myself. Why would she be doing this crap? She said that I was the one who ruined her favorite holiday (halloween). Hello you are the one who dumped me after 7 years together and almost intantly was in another relationship. (less than a week) Why in the hell would I take her sorry ass to the halloween bash? She has been dragging me around for about 5 weeks now in this limited contact BS. She has lied about being with the new guy. She has lied to my 8 year old son. She has lied to her friends. Why is she not being honest with anyone? I received a call from her on Saturday i did not answer it. She left a voicemail. It sounded like she was crying. I could tell she was alone at her house. When she is alone she is nice and emotional. When she is with the rebound she is mean and abussive. She asked for photos of her and my son back. She said that she doesn't want me to have any photos of her. My son is in them and they are from a time when we were our happiest together. I hate to look at them now but I know I will want them someday. I have put them all away in the back of my closet.
  21. Robert013
    Day 1 I went out last night and broke down. I sent her a text message last night asking for a photo album of my son. I told her some of my feelings on why we broke up. I told her I never really trusted her because she cheated on me. I was hanging out with two other people who were dumped recently also and they said not to contact her. I did not listen. I am not going to do that again. It did not get me anywhere. I don't think I want her back overall. Last night i did and that is what triggered the message. this is the hardest god damn thing I have ever had to deal with. I really don't know if I can do it anymore. Why is life so cruel?
  22. Robert013
    Day 2 I was on day 8 I wish I was still there. I was starting to feel okay with myself. Stupid grocery store and accidental contact. Now I am back in hell again. Well you know the saying "when your going through hell, keep on going". This is the only way to get out just keep on going. I went for a long walk last night with my son we were venting to eachother the whole time. He is not taking this very easy, and niether am I. She was like a mother to him for 7 of the 8 years of his life. It is just not fair that I have to deal with two broken hearts. Someday's I just don't feal strong enouph. How do you tell a 8 year old that he can't see her anymore? The answer is always why not Dad? How do you tell him that he has to let go of someone he loves so dearly? I was getting stronger but now I feel as though I am getting weaker again. I need a slap in the face from a friend again. A wakeup call. A little motivation and a pick me up. Something to change my mood back to where it was. I was alway's the stronger one in the relationship. I was the glue. Now I am reduced to a mear reflection of my old noble self. This rebuilding process is going to be a long hard road to walk down. I hope I can endure this mountain of a task. It seems so unatainable at this very moment.
  23. Robert013
    Gosh darn it back to DAY 1 We acidentialy ran into eachother at the grocery store. I live in a town with about 10,000 people so the odds are there. I had my son with me and he saw her and ran to her. She was there with the rebound kid (guy). I restrained myself. ( I did not rip his short skinny little a** in two) I was cheerful, but I initiated a quick conversation. I asked for a photo album of my son that we were compiling together. That was it but it was freaking contact so day 1 it is. To tell you the truth I thought it would have effected me alot more than it did. Other than holding back the violent rage I have torward the rebound it was okay. I slept well knowing I can control myself. A heavy bag would be nice though. I told my son that we have to treat her like a stranger until we no longer feel the need to have her in our lives. He has strong feelings for her, but he seemed as if he was over it almost instantly. How the hell does a 7.5 year old kid do it? He does not talk about her anymore like a few weeks ago when she first broke up with me and left us. He has already put it past him. It is simply amazing. She was like a mother to him for 7 years. I guess the father son bond we have is just to strong to let her interfear with it.
  24. Robert013
    Day 7 still luckily She emailed me for some stuff that she had forgotten about at my mothers house. I went during my lunch hour and gathered it up and dropped it at her dads house. I knew she would be at work so I would not break the NC challenge. I am boiling. In her message she wrote "I need you to be an adult. Stop ignoring me I just want my stuff." She gave me the list of things that i had no idea were at my mothers and I dropped them off. I dropped off the other things she asked for last night to her friend so i would not break NC. This is acting like an adult right? Isn't the point of no contact to ignore them? I told her this when I initiated it why does she pester me about ignoring her? She has the right to ask for her things but not insult me expecially when i get them to her without hesitation asap so i don't have to dwell on it.
  25. Robert013
    Day 7 Last night I didn't sleep well. I found the jeans she had asked about in a text message in the back of my closet. They must have been there a year. I baged them up along with some other things i found and gave them to her friend to give to her. I did not want to break no contact by dropping them off at her house and run the risk of seeing her. I was thinking this was an attempt to contact me, but when I found the jeans I realized it was exactly what she had said and nothing else. She was only thinking of herself and not me. I need to stop all of this wondering and questioning. I can't influence her feelings with contact in anyway. I also can't answer the questions that i keep asking myself over and over. Only she can. I need to stop this and clear my head. I do not expect her to try to contact me again. I will stay strong and keep my distance.
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