greeneyedgal

I think it's beautiful that we can give each other such support! It's very moving to know that we have compassion for those who are going through the same thing - I know what you mean about smoking - when my ex broke up with me last year, I became a chain smoker and quite a regular drinker. Steering away from that now - but yes I know it's difficult! I am spoiling myself in small ways - buying nice body products to make me feel nurtured and looking my best. I got my hair done yesterday in a way _I_ would like, I have been reading long neglected books and watching funny series on DVD, posting on here and trying my best to avoid looking as his last active date on his dating profile. lol. I know it's a weakness I should avoid and like someone above said it is best to assume that they ARE already dating someone else to soften the blow when/if it does happen. All in all I still have periods of emptiness and a keen sense of aloneness but I can't say I feel the despair I did a few days previously - I now feel hope and also that I can focus on other more constructive things for the future.

Hugs to everybody who is currently in ex-withdrawal - it's not easy but be kind to yourself - don't give in to emotional eating or drinking or chain-smoking during this difficult time - maybe bubble baths, reading a good novel and FUNNY dvds are good - ok and SOME chocolate! lol.

I just spent a weekend in the company of my ex as 'just friends' which was fun but I cried all the way back on the drive home and much for the rest of the day. I know this is not doing me any favours and I need to know once and for all that I can get past him without his intermittent contact keeping me hoping. He played all these heartbroken songs during my time there to punish me for what he thought I'd done wrong during our r'ship and whilst I kept my cool, I felt it was very unfair on me to mess with my head in this way as if he still had feelings for me, he would have had more than enough chances to have been honest about it to me. He has signed up for internet dating recently and is obviously still bitter towards me but wont let go as a friend. It's not very good for me to be in contact with him at the moment. I moved away from my old home town a month ago to heal and start life afresh but I can't keep doing this if we still send forwards, chat on IM and text each other. It's day 2 and I got an urge to send him a funny forward I knew he'd appreciate - it was so automatic, I had to stop myself. I wonder how long it will be till he contacts me. I have not let him know I am doing NC. I don't know how he will react to my lack of response if he contacts me. Well I'm hoping this will make me a happier person. Oh and just to put this into perspective - we broke up a YEAR and a HALF ago!

that was written with such feeling dude, I really feel for you - a lot of that resonated with me also.