southbayguy

Hi Magpie, Your situation sounds so familiar to me that I just had to give you my 2 cents. Ok here goes. I too was dating this wonderful guy for 7 months then he broke it off. He said that we were in two different levels and that his feelings have changed. Now mind you he is a very caring, sensitive, intellingent guy but had issues with expressing his feelings and opening up with me. I was always open and honest with him about how I felt about him. Near the end of the 7 months, he had mood swings, depression, the sex diminished to me just getting off and him watching. Pretty sad. After trying to get him to open up on several occations all I got was nothings wrong. It could be that you are in two different levels right now. But you have to get him to talk to you about it. Short and sweet, if he doesn't then its time to move on and let him know that. He will either snap out of it when he realizes he's about to lose the best thing that ever came into his life or be a loser. Believe me they alway realize how good it was when you are gone. There are plenty of guys out there who are single and would go out of their way to have someone like you! Don't waste your time if he doesn't respond. Good luck!

Hi there, Take it from someone who has been in the dating scene for quite some time. From what you have posted, this one is not over his ex. You were the rebound bf. This guy should have tried to wait before getting involved with you or at least waited until his feeling subsided about his ex. But thats in the past. There are plenty of guys out there unattached and without baggage like this one. Go and get em! You deserve better! Have fun!

Ok so here we go. After dating this guy for 7 months now last week he called me at home in the evening, after 4 days of no communication (not returning my calls, etc.) to tell me that he is not in the same place as I in this relationship. We are in two different levels and that he does not want to continue it. Now mind you I have noticed things the past two months, like drop off in sex, mood swings, lack of communication where I called him on it several times. To the point that each time he said nothing was wrong. Oh and listen to the reason for not communicating with me for 4 days prior to the breakoff, he needed to take some time to think about it and make sure that he really wanted this. Oh man, how inconsiderate, and selfish too! To put the icing on the cake he went on vacation with me to P-town, one of my favorite places to go and visited my parents with me in Boston. The beginning of the trip was wonderful but half way though, the mood swings came up and then work related stuff interfeared as well. We discussed this before going on the trip that work would be put on the shelf during the trip and he agreed. The first opportunity for him to take a conference call, he took it. I told him in so many terms that he should call them back right now and tell them he can't take it. That pissed him off. But I feel that I was right. We did have financial obligations of course from this trip where I paid for all of the accommodations with the understanding that it would be split between us. In addition I gave him a tv and vcr but then he said he no longer needed it since he was getting new ones. Thus he wanted to give it back. Ok by me. Now 4 days since he called and broke it off and I've gotten the balance of the trip in the mail. Still no tv and vcr. So I called him at work today and he's coming by this evening to drop them off. Here's the other interesting part of the conversation last week, there was no attempt to say is it ok to be friends or anything on his part. Right now I'm angry, pissed, feeling abused, used, and of course hurt. This guy has no respect for me since he broke it off with me just like my last BF 3 years ago. Right after vacation. How insensitive can you be? The last one put me in 2 years of therapy including a sex therapist where I thought I had sexual disfuction, which turned out to be his disfunction. And now this one. According to a friend of mine he feels that I did everything right its the ex that has the issues. To some degree I feel that my friend is correct. Now that its over, it might be a blessing in disguise. Thus I'm feeling lousy and hurt. I know the feelings will subside but why do guys like this not open up and communicate sooner? They take the "classic" easy way gay mans way out. It really sucks. Anyway I know its alot of info, just curious if there are any thoughts? Thanks.