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bostoneric

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  1. bostoneric
    back to day zero for me. ok i gave in and sent an email back to her. its not that I want you out of my life (furthest thing from my mind), its just well, heartbreak/healing is not easy nor does it happen quickly for me. I'm not healed enough to just be friends yet, but with time I have no doubt we can connect again. I just need to take it slow right now. her reply: i understand, i just care about you and i want to make sure you are okay. i know we will be friends and i know it will take time. i just want you to be happy. i will always be here if you need anything. star* my reply: thanks for understanding.. you are very special! her reply: so are you. my reply: I hope you mean that! now i'm smiling but have tears!!!! her reply: of course i do! no tears, though, only smiles. my reply: i cant help but have tears!!!!!! you know that about me. her reply: i know, i'm a cryer too!! so are you staying in LA? do you have a job interivew? if you had stayed in Portland you would have hated it. it has rained non-stop for 2 months. its really * * * * ing depressing. my rerply: LA seems like my best option right now. i've found out i have some true friends here who've done so much for me during this hard time. i cant thank them enough. no interviews scheduled yet, i've been delaying a few waiting for my suit. yeah i've noticed the weather there. weather there was the least of my problems. I really did love that city thanks to you sharing it with me. ok i'm going out with the guys for dinner.. i hope you understand how i feel still, even a month later its not much easier. i care about you greatly. i hope you only have beautiful memories of me!!! talk to you again soon... eric. and that was the end of the conversation... opinions??
  2. bostoneric
    just got an email back from ex after I sent "package arrived thanks" her email "why aren't you answering any of my questions????" how can i clearly say because it hurts still????
  3. bostoneric
    I wrote this email back, but I just left it as a draft, again i'm not ready to talk with her yet. but its so easy to hit send, the hard part is reading her reply. star not sure why i'm letting myself write you back this time. (never thought so much about such a short email to you) but i hope you understand how hard its been and why i havent contacted you much in the past month. its not that i want you out of my life, its just well, heartbreak/healing isnt easy and i think you know how i feel........ and always will feel about you. we have 3 amazing years together, so smile when you think of me! eric.
  4. bostoneric
    email i just received about my package! oh * * * * ! i have the receipt here, it says "expected delivery date: Mon. Jan. 7th" which is today. the tracking number is : XXXXXXXXX with UPS do you have job interviews lined up? how was your Christmas and New Years? are you staying in LA? why does she insist on asking me these questions?
  5. bostoneric
    today is ~13days or so. yesterday was the day we were supposed to leave for our 10 cruise together. I was thinking of proposing to her on the cruise!!! this is going to be a long hard week for me. i've really started to push my new life fwd. actively searching for a new place to call home, new job.. still waiting on my box of work clothes to show from the ex. almost 13 days since i emailed her what i needed. why was it so easy for her to move on to another relationship before we were even done?!?!!?!?? why is this new girl of hers staying in my house now!! I want our bed, but not the mattress anymore... keep strong everybody, we all have our hard times during this!
  6. bostoneric
    I've lost count of the days. i think it was 3 before I emailed her to send all my work clothes to my new address. then last thursday she emailed me and i did not reply. so so maybe like 10 or 11 days now without any contact.
  7. bostoneric
    wow, i know how it feels. on one hand it feels powerful and in control but at the same time its so hard to say that to somebody who you care about so much!
  8. bostoneric
    yeah once the package shows i was going to reply. "package showed today, thanks" and that was all i was going to say. i agree, its my life now not "our" life anymore.
  9. bostoneric
    still thinking about the email i got yesterday. its been about a week since i sent her an email asking her to send my work clothes/stuff to where I am staying now. its been about a month since she broke up with me and I left. her email hi there, happy new year! did you get your package? are you back in LA? how was your Christmas? S--- opinions?
  10. bostoneric
    I wouldnt go play volleyball if shes going to be there. especially so soon!! bail!
  11. bostoneric
    got an email from the dumper today. I havent contacted her in any way since last week thursday when I sent her an email and all i said was I need my work clothes and my new temp address. other then that we havent talked since 2nd week of december. her email today. hi there, happy new year! did you get your package? are you back in LA? how was your Christmas? S. I refuse to answer this email, 1 i'm not even close to being healed yet. 2. i know shes just checking in on me, helps her feel less guilt if I reply "i'm great or whatever" 3. its none of her business right now. i'm sure there are others also.
  12. bostoneric
    well i didnt sleep more then 3 maybe 4 hrs max and it wasnt very good sleep!!! and even this morning i'm really struggling still with all this!
  13. bostoneric
    I'm still struggling with this tonight.. cant sleep!! just keep thinking about the ex with this girl!!! damn her for what shes done!!
  14. bostoneric
    denial yeah lots of that seems to be going around right now.. all i can say is make sure she is 100% into it or else you will be in danger of getting hurt again.
  15. bostoneric
    I'm not sure why you guys broke up? but for me the most major condition is that she wants to stop running from her childhood issues from her parents abuse, abandonment, etc.. and wants to work on these, and is willing to accept my help. (help is me just being there for her during these times) second biggest is that shes truly sorry for what she did to me, my heart, and my life. third is that she really has to prove to me she wants to be with me and this wont happen again ever. prove that the 1st and 2nd condition are really something shes going to put 100000000% effort into. there are others but those are the biggest.
  16. bostoneric
    I understand, I've done a lot of writing myself on these things just incase my ex comes back.... what are your conditions? these can be important.
  17. bostoneric
    and what are your thoughts on her coming back?
  18. bostoneric
    dont answer that phone or email!!! you need to heal first! :splat:
  19. bostoneric
    we had talked about about her wanting to try it a long time ago... and I always said I wasnt ok with it, even if it was 1 time to just "try". I said it would ruin our relationship. I think she didnt like that answer, and when this girl presented herself as interested my ex decided that our issues were a good excuse to "try" it out. to bad our relationship was ruined because of that choice, but it just shows you how screwed up she is in her head right now. its a shame, she said she knows how much I love her, how much I want to be with her, also how much she hurt me. but that does nothing for me right now. boston = mad!
  20. bostoneric
    today started off really hard because I did not hear from the ex last night... then I got out with some friends and actually got a phone number of a beautiful girl. felt a little guilty after but thought to myself, it doesnt mean anything really, she could just become another amazing friend of mine here. got home and got a call from a friend who lived accross the st from "our" house, said he saw my ex today with her new gf (yes gf) said he saw the girl and she looks like a total little boy an ugly d*ke (sorry not trying to offend) he seemed really sure that it would end soon and she'd be calling me wanting me back.. kinda ruined my good day when i started thinking about that girl staying in my house, sleeping in my bed!! makes me sick! its amazing how easily she was able to take the feelings for me and just transfer them over to this "d*ke". but its just another thing that really shows her true colors. to think 3 years together was so easily thrown away for a girl and something shes never done before!! I hate you! when you come back and are all sad and upset @ what you've done, I will say well i hope you are/were happy with choice because I am. if she wants me back in her life she will have to earn me back. prove to me you want me back, prove to me this wont happen again, prove to me i am the one. other then her 10000000% effort she wont get me.
  21. bostoneric
    its pretty amazing that we are so similiar right now. mornings are the worst for me, every time i pop awake @ when we would get up for work and I hope it was all a nightmare. then i sit there watching the clock knowing exactly what she would be doing....(well when we lived together anyways)
  22. bostoneric
    I've lost track of the # of days, i'm guessing 5 now. nights and mornings are the worst. I keep telling myself she doesnt deserve somebody as amazing as me in her life! its her loss! she can enjoy her drama filled life with all her childhood issues taking toll on everybody who tries to get close to her! I'm better off without her. I should feel lucky this didnt happen in a few months when we were planning to have a child together! :splat:
  23. bostoneric
    yeah what is the story? sounds odd since you broke up with her but are waiting for her to contact you... damn you and my thoughts... now you having me thinking if my ex is waiting for me to do the same!!!
  24. bostoneric
    exactly the way I think of it. its a huge case of denial. when I think of her relationship history its so obvious. shes done this a few times in the past to some other good guys, she always had an excuse as to why it was their fault. its a shame shes so afraid and runs anytime things get hard. I love her so much, but I cant give unconditional love anymore to a person like that. she gave up to easy on "us" its great to outside views on my relationship, I find myself getting a clouded view because my heart is so involved.
  25. bostoneric
    I'd like more opinions on this part of an email she sent to a friend of hers she rarely see or talks to, really her only true friend in her life. all the other people are so called "friends" then when i met this other person, i no longer wanted to even try to work things out. now for the shocker, the person that i have been seeing is a woman!!!!!! i know, pretty f*cking weird if you ask me, but it's really not. she is this super hot dyk*, totally looks like a guy, but obviously is not. i just find her to be incredibly sexy and so sweet. so, do you think i am crazy???? we have been getting to know each other for the last 2 months and she is just an amazing person. so warm and kind, funny, smart, caring and so emotionally in tune with me. it's like being with a man but with a much deeper emotional connection that as a woman i have alway wanted from a man, but they could never give me. so i am dating a woman! i keep waiting for something to freak me out about it, but so far it has been wonderful. i feel like i have never been happier. i have futterflies in my stomach whenever i see her. now, don't get me wrong, i don't think i am a lesbian. i have never felt out of place with men, or have any sort of comfort level with the lesbian lifestyle. i am just drawn to this person who happens to be a dyk*
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