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I'm really glad you think so Will you marry me? Blum

Well, we have a girlfriend because we love them and want to have a good real life, and we watch porn to help with a good fantasy life. A healthy fantasy isn't a bad thing. We all watch tv, most of us enjoy a good murder mystery but it doesn't mean that we all want to go out and slaughter our neighbours! To say that your boyfriend is likely to cheat on you because he looks at porn is like saying you think he's going to be a vegetarian because he doesn't eat veal. Talk to him about it. If it turns out that you really can't cope with it, then you might have to find a man that doesn't watch porn. If you ask him to stop it, he probably won't, he'll just do it more secretively, which will make your situation worse. Blum

I'm a guy and I don't want sex with more than one person Sure, the guy is looking at teen porn because they are young and sexy, but that doesn't mean that you're not young and sexy as well. Fantasy and reality are two different things. It's not you competing against pornography, it's pornography competing against you, and it will never win, because you are real (I hope!) Take care, Blum

Heh, I see there are some nasty people on this board. That's normal, ignore them, they are merely attacking to detract from their own insecurities. I believe that there's nothing wrong with you, and that there's nothing wrong with him except that he should realise that the more he masturbates the less he'll feel like real sex. You have nothing to feel insecure about. It's not that he would rather have someone that's got a perfect body, or anything like that, at least not normally. It's usually just that they are horny at the wrong time. Take care, and ignore the idiots that have nothing positive to contribute. Every forum has them. Blum

I would say that porn would an alternative to cheating. Why? Because if a man can handle two women AND masturbate to pornography, then he's got balls of steel! Porn is about escaping from reality. It's about fantasy. Cheating on you would be creating EXTRA reality, and would be a different thing altogether. Later, Blum

Hi there Amber, Men are weird. Trust me, I know all about men being weird. I should know because I am one! I also run several fairly successful adult websites, so I'm kinda coming at this from a different angle. Don't worry though, I'm not here to attack you in any way or invalidate anything you're saying. In fact I hope I am at least a little helpful with what I am saying here. Men watch pornography for many reasons. You say that your boyfriend loves you and thinks you're beautiful. It's important that you continue thinking that, because pornography is rarely used as an alternative to a relationship, only as an addition to it. So, you're in a relationship, it's sexually active, you're both attracted to each other and in love. Why then does he look at porn? 1) Maybe he's just got a lot more sexual energy than you think. 2) Maybe he gets horny at the wrong time of day and knows that the feeling will have gone by the time you get home. Maybe when he calls you at work he's hoping you're not there at all and wants you to be on your way back but can't say that because he'd feel silly. 3) Maybe it's a bit of a rebellious streak in him. He might feel like his life is not exciting so doing something like this behind your back makes him feel a little better about himself and gives him a little self esteem. 4) Maybe he's looking for something that you're not giving him at the moment and he's too scared to talk to you about it. Maybe he's got fantasies or fetishes that he feels you wouldn't understand. Fantasies are perfectly normal and healthy, but we don't all like to talk about them. 5) Maybe he gets lonely and misses you, and although the people on the screen or in the magazines look nothing like you, he's using them and thinking of you. There are lots of possibilities. Maybe there is a problem somewhere that needs solving, and maybe it's just a quirk. You really need to sit down and talk this through with him and find out, because if it's a quirk that you can't live with, you need to find out now. If you try to stop him looking at porn then he'll carry on, but he'll be even more secretive about it. If you were to marry the guy, and find out 5 years down the line that he'd lied to you about the porn for all that time, it would hurt you a lot more than anything he's done so far. By far the most worring thing you said in your posts was about him not liking you reading romance novels. That worries me because it shows him having a low self esteem, and a high degree of jealousy. That's never a good sign and is something else you really should talk to him about. As for him not watching porn in front of you, well that's normal. I wouldn't feel comfortable watching that kind of thing with anyone else present. Doesn't matter who it is. Talk to him until his ears bleed, for the sake of your relationship. I hope I helped at least a bit, and I hope my profession doesn't offend you. I try to be a nice guy where I can Take care, Blum